Forever And Longer.

~Gerard's point of view~
That night I stayed with him. It was about 2:45 A.m. And he was asleep in my arms, With his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair. God he looked so young when he was asleep...during the day he always looked as if something was upsetting him, Even when he would smile it was still there.

It was early the next morning, before it was even completely light out I was woken. I woke because Frankie was getting out of bed.
"Where are you going....Stay, You're warm" I mumbled into his pillow. He pulled down the sleeves of his shirt and looked away.
"I need to go to, uh, the bathroom. I'll be back in a bit" He whispered and walked out of the room. I thought it was strange but at the moment I was too tired to care. I went back to sleep and didn't wake up till much later.
Around noon I walked into the kitchen to get some coffee. Isabella was standing in there eating cereal...
"Where's Frank" I asked. She nodded to the living room, Then set her bowl down.
"look, Gerard...We need to talk..." I motioned for her to continue as I made coffee.
"Well, It's Frank...He's been kinda..depressed...I'm worried... It was real bad before you but then he met you and you two became friends, then more. He was happier for a while...and I've noticed him sleeping and eating more but the mast couple of days..well, I think he might be getting bad again..I can't ask him about it but please talk to him. I don't think he..hurts himself anymore but I know he used to. He's like a brother to me and i'm afraid of what he might do" She said quickly. . I frowned. I hadn't noticed any scars but then again I had rarely seen him without a long sleeve on. And he was really skinny and often had bags under his eyes...
"I'll talk to him Izzy. I promise." I said to her. She hugged me and thanked me, Then said she was going to take a shower.
After she left the room I went to sit with Frankie. He was reading a book so I sat gently beside him and put my arm around his shoulders.
"Frankie....." I muttered. After a moment of trying to get his attention i sighed. He was lost in his book.
I grabbed him and pulled him into my lap.
"Hey, I was rea-" I pressed my lips against his to stop him from talking.
He kissed me back, and I tangled my fingers in his hair but he pulled back all to soon.
"What was that for?" He whispered to me.
"Because I couldn't not kiss you, You looked so adorable sitting there with that book." He smiled.
"Hey, What happened to you this morning...Have you been up since then?" I asked. He nodded yes and wouldn't look at me.
"Yea...Couldn't sleep...I've been, uh, Reading." He mumbled. He was a crap lair. At least, to me, anyways.
I decided to leave it alone for now.

It wasn't until a couple days later that I noticed. We were at my house, and we were joking around in the kitchen.
"What's green and has wheels?" I asked as i dodged some cereal he threw at me.
"i dunno. What?" He asked.
I giggled. "Grass. I lied about the wheels" I rolled his eyes and tried to grab me.
I ran around the table and into the living room.
He had been chasing me around the house for half an hour after I woke him up my splashing water on him. He finally caught me. He grabbed me by the waist and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back against his chest. He pressed his forehead to my back.
"Got you." He whispered. I nodded.
"Yea, you did. Now let's go make breakfast." He jumped on my pack and I gave him a piggy back ride into the kitchen. He was laughing loudly. I set him down.
"Get us some cups please?" I asked. I loved watching him stand on his toes and reach all the way up to get the cups. His shortness was so cute.
but this time I noticed something else. When he reached up the sleeve of his long sleeved shirt fell halfway up his arm. He quickly set the cups down and reached up to fix his shirt but i had seen his bare arm. the scars and cuts that covered it...old and new...I looked up to his face, shocked. He turned to look at me.
He knew I had seen.
"Gerard I-" I help up a hand to stop him from talking. I shook my head and turned away.
"Oh, god...you're probably so grossed out. I-i'm sorry, Gee. I know...I know i'm ugly and disgusting...I'm so sorry...I tried not to but...somethings wrong with me. Please don't hate me. I'm sorry. Don't hate me." I turned to look at him and saw him shaking, tears rolling down his face.
"No...No Frankie, Darling. Shhh" I pulled him into a tight hug.
"I'm not grossed out and I don't hate you..I...I guess I'm upset. I know what it feels like...When it feels like you're all alone, and you don't have anyone to talk to. When you think you deserve this...even if you didn't do anything...You think you deserve to feel this pain because you're stupid or ugly..And you feel so- just...upset. And eventually you can't take it anymore and you just start cutting and for a while it feels a bit better but then you get the urge again and...God Frankie. I understand...you're not alone. I'm just upset because you Aren't alone! You've got me or Hell even Isabella and Alex. Why?" I said to him. He cried into my shirt and I pulled him to the couch. I sat down the pulled him onto my lap.
"I don't know Gerard. God, i'm so broken...What's wrong with me?" He sobbed.
" nothing...You're perfect Darling...I love you..But please don't do this to yourself. I'm begging. I can't stand it. The thought of you being in pain...or-or doing this to yourself..Please Frank. Promise me you'll try to stop. Please. "
He nodded. When he finally stopped crying he spoke.
"I'm sorry, Gee. I know i shouldn't..and for a while i was doing good but I-I couldn't take it. I cut the other day. I wish i hadn't but...I'll try to stop...for you.." He whispered. I nodded. He tried to pull away but i just held him tighter.
"Not yet...Wait..please?" I whispered. I sounded pathetic to myself but i couldn't help. I needed him to be close right now..to know that he was safe with me..
He nodded and held on to me.

We were sitting in the front yard a while later, Me sitting in the tree drawing him, Laying on his back on the grass, smoking.
"Hey, can I die of lung cancer or whatever...Since you know I smoke?" He looked up at me wonderingly. I laughed.
"Uh, No. If you were normal I'd yell at you, but no..you can smoke all you want and you will still outlive these humans..." I explained. "Any damage they would normally cause you your lungs automatically heals it's self so you're good" He nodded then went back to thinking and me back to drawing him. I loved to draw him. He would gladly sit somewhere for hours on end. Just sit still, sometimes reading, sometimes smoking sometimes just thinking...He'd stay still and quiet...He was beautiful.
his phone started ringing and he reached into his pocket to answer it. I only heard is half of the conversation.
"Hey,Isabella"
"Alex said that...Really?"
"No, It's okay. don't put him on the phone i'll take your word for it."
"Tonight?...I was gonna stay here again but-"
"What? No! I am not moving out!"
"Izzy...calm down..I'm not moving out...Maybe someday when you and Alex are married and get sick of me but not now."
"Maybe I just really like Gerard." He winked at me
"No..I mean..i don't think he's getting tired of me." He covered the phone with his other hand and spoke to me..
"Hey, Izzy wants to know if you're tired of me being over here all the time and want me to leave because you realized how annoying i am and cant stand me anymore?"
I laughed. "Never. I love you." I said and blew him a kiss. He pretended to catch it and stick it in his back pocket.
He talked into the phone again.
"He says no..."
"Okay Okay! I'll be home tonight! God calm the fuck down! Goodbye"
He hung up and flung his phone a few feet away in the grass.
"She misses you and wants you home because she feels like she hasn't seen you in years?" I guessed.
He nodded.
"God, She's worse than my mom! Anyways...I'm gonna stay over there tonight" I jumped down and laid next to him..
"You realize we have spent maybe, Two nights apart since we got together? Aren't you sick of me yet?" He asked. I ran my fingers through his hair.
"Never...honestly..I don't like being away from you..It makes me anxious...I worry that something has happened to you. It's stupid because I know you're fine but i can't help it. I love you too much." He smiled and sat up, then leaned over to kiss me.
"That's sweet. I don't like being away from you either, but alas, Tonight I must go and you must stay. I think Alex is getting tired of walking into the room to find us kissing. " Frankie rolled him eyes as he said that and i laughed.
"Well, Go get your stuff and I'll give you a ride."

Notes