Not Good Enough

Gerard's POV


There was silence as they walked to Gerard's house. Gerard was just thinking and Frank...well, he had no clue what was going on in Frank's mind, but he hoped it was nothing bad. It wasn't his fault he'd been born in the wrong body. Gerard tried to think of what his own feelings would be if he had the same problem. He ended up thinking about it a little too realistically, his mind descending into darker and darker thoughts before he suddenly reached out and grabbed Frank's hand, realizing how much it must mean to him to have someone to talk to.

Frank looked at him questioningly and Gerard shrugged. "Just...you have a friend now, alright?" It sounded way cheesier out loud than it had sounded in his head.

"Well holding hands isn't really something friends do but..."

"Want me to let go?"

"...no."

-

Gerard's room seemed to be messier than he remembered it, but maybe he was just more conscious of it since Frank was around. Nevertheless, as he entered the room with Frank close behind, he picked a few things up, putting them back in their places, pulling his covers back on his bed.

"Sorry, I haven't exactly gotten a chance to figure out where everything should go."

"That's alright." Frank was looking around, a few things seeming to catch his attention. From what Gerard could tell it was his comic books and his music collection. He knew it was silly, but he still bought CDs instead of digital MP3s. There was just something about being able to hold your favorite song in your hands.

"What's this?" Frank interrupted his thoughts, looking at his sketch book, which he'd left open on his desk, not planning on having company.

"Ah, nothing." He picked the book up, closing it and sticking it on a shelf. "Just...sketches."

"They were amazing." Frank grinned. "Wish I could draw that well."

"Oh. Uh, thanks." His experience with compliments was not very extensive.

"You're welcome. So uh...what do you want to do?"

"I dunno, I don't really care."

"Movie?"

"Sure. Got any ideas?"

"Well, uh, okay I know this sounds really nerdy, but I've been dying to re-watch The Hobbit."

Gerard grinned. He could live with that decision. "Yeah, totally nerdy, man. Not like I have the extended edition of both of them. And all three LotR movies."

Frank smiled. "Hobbit marathon? Well, it would only really be a marathon with the third movie, but we've still got awhile to wait for that."

Gerard smiled, pulling the movies in question out of a drawer in his desk. "Let's do this."
He led Frank downstairs to their basement, which sometimes doubled as a movie room with it's single couch and flat screen TV. He popped the first disc in, flopping down on the fluffy couch and motioning Frank over.

Frank seemed hesitant, but sat down next to him, giving him a smile as the movie started.

Watching Bilbo, Gandalf, and Thorin's company embark on amazing adventures made Gerard surprisingly excited about life and he found himself grinning at the movie, hugging a pillow as Thorin hugged Bilbo near the end. That was the best part of the movie, in his opinion, although it was upstaged by Kili's ramblings about Tauriel in the second movie. But that wasn't the point. The point was that people can change their minds, change their opinions, learn from their mistakes.

He smiled, leaning against Frank as the movie ended and the credits rolled. Frank glanced at him but didn't make any attempt to move him.

"Another?" Frank asked, and Gerard whined, snuggling closer to him.

"But I don't wanna get up...I just got comfortable..."

"Gerard you just lay down on me like, two seconds ago."

"My point exactly."

Frank rolled his eyes and got up, letting Gerard fall down onto the couch. "Lazy."

"Excuse you. ...nah, actually that's pretty accurate." Gerard grinned at Frank as he put the next movie in.

"Yeah no kidding." Frank sat down and Gerard immediately shifted so he was leaning against him. "Gerard...what are you doing?"

"Just...snuggling?" Bad word choice, Gerard.

"...uh, actually I should probably get home soon." Fuck.

"Oh, right." Gerard barely managed to keep himself from frowning.

"I have...homework to do." Yeah, right.

"Yeah, yeah." Gerard gave him a forced smile and got up. "Want me to walk you home?"

"No I'm fine." Frank got up, letting Gerard lead him back up to the front door.

"Well...see you at school!"

"Yeah, see you." Frank pulled his hood up and quickly disappeared from Gerard's sight.

Gerard sighed, returning to the basement and flopping down on the couch, staring at the TV screen, still playing the second Hobbit movie. But he wasn't really paying attention, his mind was elsewhere. It seemed he had kind of fallen for Frank...hard. But Frank didn't seem to feel the same. Or maybe he just wasn't a very snuggly person. Either way, Frank leaving so fast had made Gerard feel like he had a small hole in his heart. He knew it was stupid, he barely knew the guy, but it just felt right.

He sighed dramatically to himself, switching the TV off and going upstairs to his room. He would just have to figure it out in the morning.

Notes

Oh nooo poor Gerard :(