Not Good Enough

Frank's POV


"Hey...do you have a twin?"

The question caught Frank off guard. "No. Why...?" Suddenly he realized the only reason why someone would ask him that question. "Oh no..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Doesn't sound like nothing. There were some kids trying to tell me you were someone else or something."

Frank sighed. He had known that eventually the rest of the kids at school would ruin this for him, he'd just hoped it wouldn't be so early. "Alright, alright. I'll explain it to you. But not here. You doing anything after school?"

"No." Frank couldn't read the expression on Gerard's face.

"There's a small coffee shop near here that we can talk at. Meet me there after school."

Gerard nodded. "See you then." And with that he headed off to class.

Frank turned around to do the same but...now he was too nervous about explaining things to Gerard. He silently cursed at himself for being so weak with his emotions, but today wasn't a good day either, and even though he hated himself for it, he left school early...for the second day in a row.

-

He had been sitting at the coffee shop for three hours, and he'd had six and a half coffees. Jittery and shaking, he turned his head each time the little bell on the shop door rang, but it never seemed to be Gerard.

Gerard...fuck. He'd been hoping maybe he'd actually have a friend but no. His wonderful classmates had so kindly made sure that he once again had no hope of ever having someone he enjoyed talking to. He sighed, putting his head in his hands and imagined him and Gerard sitting on his bed and listening to music together, then...kissing? When had that thought gotten into his head?

Just then someone tapped his shoulder and he looked up to see Gerard standing over him. "Oh. Hi."

"Hey." Gerard gave him a tentative smile and sat down across from him. "So, uh, what did you want to tell me?"

"Uh..." It suddenly occurred to Frank that in his three hours sitting at the shop he hadn't bothered to worry about how exactly he was going to tell Gerard. "Don't you want to get some coffee first?" He blurted out suddenly, hoping Gerard wouldn't realize he was just stalling for time. "They have really good coffee here."

Gerard gave him a look, but nodded. "Yeah, I'll be right back."

Frank bit his lip, trying to think of what the hell to even say. By the time Gerard returned with a cup of coffee, well, he wasn't even close to figuring it out.

"Gerard...uh..." He took a deep breath. "I'm a little fucked up. And because of that, I don't have any friends, but when I met you I had hope. I really...I really hope you'll still want to talk to me after I tell you this."

"Don't worry, it's kind of hard to get rid of me." Gerard smiled at him.

"I...I was born in the wrong body." Frank frowned. Yeah, that would sound pretty confusing to someone who didn't know what transgender even was. "I mean...fuck. I have, I have the wrong parts. Shit I'm explaining this so badly. I'm transgender."

"So..."

"So I was 'born female'." Frank rolled his eyes. He hated that phrase so much, but sometimes it was the only thing that people understood.

"But you're actually a guy."

Frank nodded, suddenly hopeful. Gerard seemed to actually get it.

"Oh."

Oh? That was it?

"That must really suck."

Frank laughed. "That's an understatement. There's hormones and surgeries to make my body right but they're expensive as shit and I can't get them until I'm eighteen without my parent's permission."

"And they won't let you?"

"No. They don't believe me."

"Why the hell not?"

Frank shrugged. "I don't know. They probably think it's a phase or I'm just a tomboy or something."

"Well that's stupid."

"I know right? And...and people are so obsessed with my legal details, like, that's what they think is correct, no matter what I say."

"So that's why they were saying that..."

"Yeah that's why every fucking person at school thinks I'm a fucking girl." Frank could feel himself starting to tear up.

Gerard seemed to notice, and stood up. "Wanna come over?"

"Huh?"

"Wanna come hang out at my house? I mean it's still got boxes all over it from moving but my room's pretty unpacked."

"Oh. Yeah, sounds great." Frank smiled.

Notes

Aw heck yeah Gerard's not transphobic. I dunno if he is in real life but I sure hope not.