Bob's POV

I wait until Gerard's head has fallen sideways and his breathing has evened out before I get up off his bed. His pale lips are parted to draw in breath and he looks so peaceful. I don't really see the need for the cuffs at all because he's such a good patient but his doctor has said they should remain on.

I know that the poor guy is schizophrenic but I have to admit that I'm starting to believe the stuff he's saying about Doctor Green. The other day I walked in on one of their therapy sessions to find the doctor bent low over Gerard's body whispering into his ear. I listened as Gerard whimpered and promised not to tell anybody as long as Green stopped it.
Quite what 'it' was I never found out but I made sure to rattle my stainless steel trolley loudly along the corridor before knocking on Gerard's door for a medicine call. Green stood up quickly and plastered a smile all over his face while Gerard looked at me like I was the last person on Earth. He was so grateful.

He's been out of sorts lately as well. He's been in here for over a week now and Doctor Green revoked his visitation rights but thankfully his new psychologist, Dr Iero, has re-invoked them. I know Frank pretty well and he's a damned good therapist - I only hope he can find out what's causing Gerard to be so distant.

I glance at the watch pinned upside-down on my lapel. Ten to two. Gerard's visitors will be down in reception now so I'd better go and fetch them. I nod to an orderly as I walk calmly to the door at the end of the high security ward and unlock it with a key on my belt. I step through into a space the size of a utility cupboard and lock it. Once I've checked the door is secure, I turn to the next door and repeat the process. It reminds me of a walk through enclosure in a zoo.
Now I've negotiated the high security doors I can go through the rest of the hospital, nodding to patients on my way and smiling at them. After a morning on the high security ward these patients seem totally normal.

I take the lift down to reception where I look around at the various people sitting in chairs, guiding patients around or drinking coffee.
"Mr and Mr Toro-Way?" I call and a young couple stand up. One is tall and lanky with glasses, the other is stockier and has a really awesome afro.
I address the one with glasses. "Are you Gerard's brother?"
"Yes, Mikey Way. This is my husband, Ray Toro."
We all shake hands.
"Good to meet you, I'm nurse Bob Bryar, I've been looking after Gerard. Would you like to follow me please?"

I lead the way back down the route I've just taken.
"Can I just ask, why was visiting cancelled last week?" Mikey asks as we leave the elevator.
"His doctor decided he wasn't quite ready for visitors," I say carefully, trying not to let my disapproval through. I sense that Mikey picks up on it though.
We come to the door of the high security ward and I let us through the first door. The couple raise their eyebrows but don't comment on the security measure as I lock the door and the sound of the normal wards cuts out.
"If you don't mind, I'd like a quick word with you both in the consultation office before you see him," I say. I've surprised myself a little there but I take care not to show it. I see their hesitation and Ray's eyes flick to his watch.
"He's sleeping," I assure them. "There's plenty of time, I only need ten minutes and he won't wake up before them."
Mikey nods at me and I take them through the door then round the corner into one of the free consultation rooms. I slide the plaque on the door from 'vacant' to 'engaged' and shut it.

We all take our seats and I pull up Gerard's record on the computer before turning to face them.
"First of all, I'd like to say that I've probably spent the most time with Gerard and I think he's a wonderful person, you're lucky to have him in your lives."
"Thank you," Mikey murmurs. I notice his long fingered hand is clasped around Ray's.
"How would you describe him?" I ask casually.
"Clever, self-confident and talented," Mikey replies immediately.
"He's brilliant at art," Ray adds, "and he has a great singing voice. He's even written a few songs which were pretty sweet."
I nod and absorb the information. Self-confident, hmm? They may possibly be in for a shock.
"Is there anything you know of that scares him particularly?" I ask and Mikey's clever eyes narrow.
"If we answer, will you tell us what you think is wrong?" he asks me shrewdly. I stare at him, not knowing what to say. "No, I can't think of anything that would scare him overly much," he says after a lengthy pause. "Apart from needles."

I factor this information into Gerard's behaviour; the whimpering, the pleading. Nothing to do with needles so far - we've hardly had to use them because he's been so co-operative in taking his medicine. So Gerard is a self-confident man, is he? I stash the information away under a mental file named 'Green is a sneaky bastard' and stand up.
"Thank you very much, Mr Way. Would you like to see Gerard now?"
I see Gerard win out over his curiosity and he unfolds himself from the chair. "Please."
I take them along to his room and pause with my hand on the door handle. "I have to warn you this may be a bit of a shock," I say as I open the door for them and stand back.


Mikey's POV

The nurse steps out of the way and I walk slowly into Gerard's room. My eyes sweep over his pale frame and I blink away tears of shared pain. Oh, Gee...
My brother is strapped to his bed by his ankles and another set of restraints pins his hands up by his shoulders, palms upwards. His head is turned to one side and his eyes are closed in drug-induced sleep. There's a tube taped to his cheek, one end of which is covered with a plastic cap and the other end disappears into his petite nose. It looks as though he's lost weight as well and there are shadows underneath his eyes.

"What happened to him?" I breathe. Bob shuts the door behind us and brings two chairs over so we can sit down beside his bed. I take one of his cold hands in mine and try to warm it up with gentle friction.
"I'm afraid I don't know," the nurse responds. "He is responding to medication for his schizophrenia but we believe there may be underlying problems that are causing complications."
Some part of my mind picks up the inflection on his words, the same one I heard in the office, but I don't think about it now. My entire world is taken up with how vulnerable my big brother has suddenly become.

"His medication should wear off in twenty minutes or so," Bob says quietly from the door. "His new therapist is due at three o'clock." He leaves us in the quiet room alone.
"Oh Ray," I say, not taking my eyes off my brother. Ray picks up his chair and carries it to the other side of the bed, plonking himself down and reaches over Gee to grip my other hand. "What's happening to him? Why are there cuffs on him?"
Ray shakes his head and starts to stroke Gerard's palm. It's an old trick we use to get him off to sleep when he wakes up after a night terror; I hear his breathing hitch before settling back down.
"He can feel it," Ray smiles.
"Hey, Gee. If you can hear me now I'm..." I stop, lost for words.
"If you can hear us then know that we love you," Ray says for me.

We sit with him for another half an hour in near silence until his fingers twitch around mine and his eyes flicker open.
"Mikey?" he whispers.
"Yes, it's me. How do you feel?"
"Mikey, the doctor, he's not a nice doctor." He breaks off into a weak coughing fit, turning his head into his shoulder. I wince and rub his fingers.
"What do you mean, the doctor isn't nice?"
"He hurts me, Mikey. He stuck pins in me."

I look up alarmed and find Ray's expression mirrors my own. "Do you...do you mean needles, Gerard? Like an IV bag or something?"
He shakes his head violently. "No, Mikey, like pins. Like the pins mummy used to pin up our trousers with."
He's never hallucinated pain before and I ask him if it's just in his head.
"No, no," he moans, "why won't anybody listen to me? He comes along and hurts me. The purple man comes after him and hurts me too but it's a different kind of hurt because the purple man isn't real. But the doctor is real and he really hurts me!"

He collapses onto his bed, breathing hard and his tense body goes limp. His eyes implore me to see his sincerity, to believe him. And I do, of course I do, it's written on his face. I reflect on the conversation we had with Bob in that office and some of his questions start to make sense.
How would you describe him?
Asked in that casual manner I had no idea what he was thinking, now maybe I can hazard a guess:
What was Gerard like before Doctor Green got to him?

"Fine, Gerard. I believe you, I do. I'll try and sort it out, okay?"
The sheer relief on his face is heartbreaking and then his eyes flicker shut again.
"Gerard...Gerard?"
"He's asleep again," Ray tells me. "What was all that about?"
I close my eyes. "Do you remember a few years back when our dad died and there was that man who was always hanging around mum? His name was Tom and for the life of me I never understood why she couldn't see he was only after her for her money. I'd forgotten his surname but I think it was Green."
"Except there are probably hundreds of Greens in the world," Ray points out. "Somebody has to give the Smiths a run for their money."
"Except," I say trepidatiously, "nurse Bryar just showed us his medical forms."
It takes my beautiful husband a few seconds to catch up then... "With his doctor's name at the top," he says.
"Exactly," I say. "I think we may have some digging to do, Ray-Ray."

Notes