Forgive me father, for I have sinned

Well I give in. Its been around a month and I cant take it anymore. I cant ignore him anymore. I miss his presense, his smell, his eyes, his smile. Deep inside, I feel really guilty for ignoring him. He gave me this look everytime i'd move away from him which broke mt heart. Other people wouldn't notice the look but thats because they dont understand. Deep in his eyes he looks so lost...so lonely. It killed me inside, eating away at my heart.

Well this school year is going quickly....too quickly. Today is my birthday. The day I came into this world by mistake. Some days I just think I wish I wasn't born. Ray insisted I had a party but knowing this school I'd bet no one would come along. Plus it was a Sunday-church ceremony. Fuck. I doubt the Father would know its my birthday since I haven't told anyone apart from Ray unless all the teachers looked at my records and data. I sat in the pew, slouching slightly because I was so uncomfy. Fuck wooden seats. Why can't they be cushioned? Ray and I were seperated because people pushed in front and managed to seperate us. So i was sat next to this dude who had short blond hair and big blue eyes. He leaned in next to me and whispered "happy birthday". I just looked at him.
"How did you know?" I whispered back. He just shrugged. I didnt question anymore and carried on watching father way.
Once the ceremony was over, we all tried to flood out the church until I felt a firm grip on my shoulder. I turned to see Gerard standing there, giving a smile. Damn that smile.
"Can I help you?" I asked bluntly. He smirked even more.
"I heard its your birthday today. I just wanted to wish you a good day." He said.
"riigghhtt.. thanks." I said. I felt so confused. I gave a weak smile amd walked away quickly, heading to my dorm.

"Oh come on dude!" Ray said, almost begging. "Please just get into the birthday mood! I even got you a gift!"
I looked at him. "Im not really a birthday person. You never told me you got a gift!"
He shrugged. "Surprise?" I sighed and motioned him to give me the present. It was roughlt wrapped with crappy wrapping paper but I didn't complain. He was the only person wgo gave me a gift. I began to unwrap it and there inside was a box. I opened the box to reveal loads of guitat picks with signatures of famous guitar players. I looked at one pick and it had Brian Mays signature on it. I nearly squeeled.
"Oh my fucking god Ray! This is amazing!! Thank you so much!!" I screamed, glomping him. He giggled.
"Aw no problem dude. You deserve it. You became my friend, fought the bullies and im really grateful."
Damn this is a fucking amazing goft from an amazing friend. Ray has been so different from any person i've met. He is like a best friend i've always wanted. After all the hugging, Ray let go and obviously by the look on his face, he remembered something.
"Oh Frank I just remembered! Father Way told.me that he wants to see you in the church at 7!"
I blinked. "Uh why?"
"Just go! Its nearly 7!"
Ray basically pushed me out the door and made me walk down to the church. As I was walking down the stairs, it seemed awfully quiet in the dorms but i just kept walking. The church was diml lit and I opened the big wooden door and snuck in. It was empty.
"hello?" I said quietly. No reply. I walked forward more down the aisle. I headed towards the basement door and opened it. Rose petals lay on the stairs and i began to slowly walk down. Near the bottom, a suit was hung up with a note beside it saying- 'for you to change in'~
I looked around tk see if anyone was there and changed quickly into the suit. It surprisingly fit. I headed down the second fligh of steps, only to see mode rose petals. It was dark at the bottom and I looked around.
"What now? A bed with roses to seduce me?" I said. Suddenly A light turned on and all around me people stood smiling an shouting happy birthday. They were teachers and my class mates. Shit...i said that too loudly.
"Oh happy birthday Frank!" Miss Green chirped giving me a bone crushing hug. Ray appeared out of no where and huged me once again.
"what is this?" I asked him.
"A party! For you! Miserable sod!" Ray laughed. Music started playing and conversation built up in the room.
"Did you plan this?"
Ray shook his head. "Nope. Not me. Father Way."
Then out of the blue, Father Way moved over and patted my back.
"Ah Frank! You look very smart in that suit. I hope you like it." He said giving a small chuckle.
"uh yeah thanks. Its really nice. And thanks for this but I really dont deserve a party."
He shook his head. "Nonsense. Everyone deserves fun. In fact, i'd like to show you something." He whispered in my ear. I almost shivered.
"Uh ok...." I murmmered. I turned to Ray. "I'll be right back."Ray nodded and went to go talk to a class mate.
Gerard led me back up the stairs and outside, round the back of the church. He turned to me and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and handed it to me.
"Here. Since you've been a good boy." He smirked. I smiled and took the pack off him.
"You're a priest and yet you give a 17 year old cigarettes? Nice one." I gave a small laugh and pulled out a cigarette. I turned to see Gerard looking at me. I looked back at him and gave a weak smile. Just before I was about to pop the cigarette in my mouth, his hands took hold of my cheeks, pulling me forward quickly, his lips clamped to mine. My eyes widened but he made the kiss more passionate, licking my bottom lip, requesting entrance. I gladly accepted and his tongue and mine collided. He pulled away to breathe but I wanted more and leaned forward to kiss him again, his hand tangled in my hair. I was kissing a man of god. The man i dreamed of.

Notes

soz guys its been a while..enjoy!! :)