Frankie Baby

Finally it was three days until break , it felt like a weight had started to be lifted off my shoulders. Two whole weeks of nothing , doing nothing with Gerard. I smiled at the thought of just lounging around at Gerard’s eating junk food and cuddling. The school day was nearing to an end , i sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. It was a rough day , full of tests and pop quizzes. At least the day would end on a good note. Gerard promised me we’d go to the movies and watch the newest movie coming out. I smiled at the ground because we never really watched the movie. We usually picked the seat furthest and kis-Oh. My heart shattered at the sight that was in front of me. I accidentally dropped my books in shock but I didn’t bother to pick them up. i just stood there with my arms limply hanging at my sides. Right outside the art room was Sammy and Gerard. Her hands were on his face and their lips were interlocked. This isn’t real. This is not happening. Its a dream , Gerard wouldn’t cheat on me , he promised me he wouldn’t fuck up. He fucking promised. I pinched my skin , hard. I hoped I wouldn’t feel it , but a zap of pain went up my arm. My chest hurt, it felt like someone had ripped out my heart. I tried to move but I couldn’t. I couldn’t look away from the scene unraveling infront of me. The hallways had cleared by then. Somehow a little part of me just knew he would pull this. “Gerard?” I called out softly my voice cracking. My heart hurt even more to say his fucking name. I couldn’t believe it , i refused to believe it. My vision started to blur over slightly when Sammy released his face. I was going to throw up , and quite honestly I didn’t care who saw me. My head pounded and I thought my brian would fall out of my skull. He backed away from her as if he were fire. I glanced over to Sammy who was smirking like she’d just , i don’t even know. the image of them kissing was burned and branded into my memory. “Fuck.” Gerard muttered and ran his fingers through his hair. A habit he did when he was nervous. His eyes were huge and his fingers were trembling. When he started to speed walk over to me I panicked. “No,no,no,no,no” I rambled while racing to pick up my books. I was shaking like a leaf on a tree , panic filled my veins. As much as I wanted to just lay down and die ,I had to get away from Gerard. The laying down and dying would have to wait for later. He was half way towards me when I bolted down the hallway. “Frank! God damn it!” Gerard exclaimed. I ran faster towards the exit of the school when I heard fast footsteps coming closely behind me. God how could i have been so stupid? Tears were running freely down my face when I pushed open the school’s heavy steel doors. The cold December air stung my face. Those snow crunched under my feet. Suddenly a hand wrapped around my wrist , burning me , not in a good way. “Don’t touch me!” I shrieked , pulling my wrist away viciously. “Don’t you dare try to fucking touch me again.” I attempted to sound hostile but my voice did the awful fucking wobble. Gerard’s face was red and his eyes brewing some kind of emotional storm. Tears were pouring down my face as I stomped away. I gripped my books tighter to my chest. “Frank stop fucking walking away from me!” Gerard screamed. I whipped around and fixed him with an icy glare. I hugged my sweater closer to my body. The thin material barely did anything to stop the cold. “Why? So you can just feed me a bullshit excuse?” I snapped more tears soaking my neck. “I promise you it wasn’t what it looked li-” “Oh , you promise?” venom laced my words as I cut him off. I tilted my head to the side in recognition. “Just like you ‘promised’ you wouldn’t fuck this up?” I snapped again , referring to our first kiss. I licked my lips and rubbed my forehead , i was so fed up. I was done , i wasn’t exactly sure what i had done to deserve this. There was no point. Our relationship was the only thing that kept me sane. But it was all a lie , a fucking lie. He’d got what he wanted , a good for nothing fuck. That’s all I was. A stupid , annoying , clingy fuck. A sob ripped up my body , sadness overtook my body. I doubled over , my body shaking violently from the sob. The sob was ugly and i didn’t give a fuck if I was crying infront of Gerard. Im the smartest kid in my school. I could write you a five paged essay on relationships. But i couldn’t tell if one was cheating or not. “How could I have been so stupid?” I shrieked at the snow covered ground. My body was freezing, the cold snow seeped through my converse. “Frank , you need to listen to me..” Gerard said quietly. I was so fucking weak. I stood up straight , looking him directly in the eyes. “No , you need to fucking listen to me.” i said jabbing my finger into my chest. He stayed quiet, allowing me to start. “I trusted you with my virginity” I said quietly , pain gripped my voice. I closed my eyes , shameful that I allowed myself to be so weak under his touch.
“God , I even went the extra mile a-and trusted you with my well being , my fucking soul.” I rubbed away the tears harshly with my palm. A harsh gust of wind blew my hair. Then I started laughing like it was the fucking funniest thing ever , more tears rolled down my face. “its really fucking funny to fuck with Frank Iero’s feelings isn’t it?” I laughed again , humorless and dry. “It is just so fucking funny to actually think that you care right now. Or that you even cared at all.” Gerard picked up his head. The look in his eyes was deadly. “Frank , stop.” He growled. “Why the fuck would you tell me to stop?” I sassed cocking my head to the side, fake curiousity glazing over my tearful eyes. More tears flowed out of my eyes , soaking the collar of my sweater. “the fact that I actually believed you when you said you loved me , is the funniest part actually.” The look in his eyes was a mixture of sadness and anger. “I do love you frank.” I snorted. “I call mother fucking bullshit.” I laughed again. “I can’t tell which is funnier , your impeccable acting skills or me being so fucking stupid to believe you. I mean its just so fucking unrealistic , whatever we had. The playboy of the school falls for the fucking quiet , nervous nerd.” My voice betrayed my act of being sarcastic. It broke at the end and I just cried. The same part of my brain was screaming i told you so , that I should have taken Lyn-z’s precaution heavier. My heart ached and my head hurt from all the crying. It was all a lie. I felt like complete shit. I spared him one last glance then walked away. It was all broken promises. I wanted to be held by Gerard at that point. I wanted him to hold me close and wipe away my tears. I wanted him to tell me it would be okay. I wanted him to squeeze my body and touch me. I wanted him to warm my cold body , and kiss my aching back. But he was the enemy.

Notes

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