The Light Behind Your Eyes (Frerard vs Waycest)

With Frankie avoiding me and Mikey totally pissed off at me, I came to terms with myself. I lusted after the both if them and I couldn't have either of them. I'd hurt Frankie's child-like innocence and purity because I'm dirty. Filthy. Mikey says he has done drugs and has come to school high, but I'm not sure of I believe that.
Mikey is pissed at me because I want to talk about what happened with Frank, me and him but Mikey doesn't want to talk about it. Why not? Because I was disgusting and just pure filth. He regretted it.
Of course mom tried to get me upstairs and eat and whatever, but I wouldn't. If I went upstairs, which was usually to steal a beer I hid up there, or to drink coffee, I didn't speak to them. I just sighed when mom tired to talk to me and I ignored her. Mom has even sent Mikey to the basement to talk to me, but I just locked the door. I know it was his room too but he had been sleeping on the couch since the thing with Frank anyway so now I was officially kicking him out.
I didn't do anything but smoke out of the window and draw different versions of Frank and Mikey since they were all that occupied my time anyway. I even picked up the guitar Mikey bought years ago before realizing he was shit at guitar.
I could play a little bit, but you know. So I worked hard on that and pieced together riffs, glancing at my notebook to see if any of my lyrics would fit together with each other and this guitar part. For the most it was useless. I really couldn't play
...
"Gerard! Mom wants you to stop wallowing in self pity and get upstairs!" Mikey yelled, banging on the door. I sighed, placing the guitar gently on my bed and opening the door. I shook my head 'no' at him.
"She made your favorite." He offered, raising an eyebrow. I looked down at my stomach, the thought of food making my stomach turn. I shook my head again and he huffed, stomping up the stairs. I would rather stay in the basement, getting food when everyone was asleep and wallowing in self pity when they were then actually talk to anyone. They hated me and they had every right to. I was gross. Filthy. An awful human being.

Notes

Ahaha I actually updated this to the wrong fic
Whoops