3/13

I led Frank up and into my apartment, shutting the door behind us and taking off my shoes. Frank did the same, then stood there awkwardly, guitar in hand.
“Uh, you can put your guitar down over there,” I said, motioning towards the living room, next to the entrance. “Want anything to drink?” I asked over my shoulder, making my way to the kitchen. Did I even have any drinks? I opened my small refrigerator, and sure enough, I desperately needed to go grocery shopping.
“Just some water, thanks,” I heard the guitarist say from behind me. I filled a glass of water, and walked back to where he was still standing, next to where he had put his guitar down.
“Good, ‘cause that’s all I have,” I said, handing him his drink. He gave a small laugh as he accepted the glass and took a sip. “You can sit down, you know,” I said, taking a seat on the couch pointedly. I opened my laptop in front of me, then watched as he sat down on the armchair next to the couch and started looking around the tiny apartment. Frank, I had noticed, had this constant nervous energy around him, and it showed now through his furiously bobbing knee and the fingers he tapped against the seat. As he turned his head around, continuing to observe my living space, I noticed the tattoo on the right side of his neck. It was a scorpion, small, simple, not colored. Frank turned back and saw me watching him. I flicked my eyes back down to the computer screen.
“Right, uh, here’s the city’s website and the bus schedules from here. See any stops at your address?” I asked, pushing the laptop toward him so he could see.
He squinted down at the screen, chewing on his lip. “No. Damn it, there aren’t even any buses going anywhere near my house, much less to it.” Frank groaned, sitting back and rubbing at his eyes.
I’d expected so. “Hey, it’s okay, you can just stay here for the night and catch the metro in the morning.” Look at me, Gerard Way, a saint to those in need, even during his own life-long crisis.
Frank looked up, shocked. “What? No. I couldn’t do that, we just met, I can’t accept an offer like that. I—I’ll just—you know, I’ll—.”
“You’ll do what? You can’t go by cab, that’ll cost tons of money. It’s fine, really, it’s just one night,” I said, trying to convince him. Of course, I wouldn’t normally do this. But Frank didn’t look like a murderer or a rapist or anything. Poor guy. I felt bad for him, really.
He looked unsure. “Plus,” I added, “we’re not really strangers. I mean, we are in the same band after all.” He gave a humored smile at that, and seemed to relax a little.
“Thank you so much, really. I feel really bad for putting you in this situation,” Frank said.
“Will you chill out about it? It actually is nothing. It’s not your fault there’s no way for you to get home.”
He nodded, chewing on his lip. I looked down at my watch. 6:03. I was starting to feel hungry, and there was no food in the house. I started planning. Maybe I could get some pizza from across the street…
“Sorry, did you, uh, you know, have plans for today?” Frank asked, looking guiltier than ever.
“For dinner? Yeah, why?” I asked, confused as to why he would be asking what we were having for dinner. Maybe the guy was really hungry.
His face turned red. “Oh, geez, please don’t let me get in the way of your date, you go ahead, sorry, I’ll just, I’ll just chill, go to a café or something, when is it? Are you going to be late? Don’t miss it because of me, god, first I come on the wrong day then get in the way, I’m so sorry—“
“What are you talking about?” I asked, completely bewildered at how flustered he was.
“You aren’t going out?” It was Frank’s turn to be confused.
“What? No, where’d you get that idea?”
“I don’t know, when you checked the time and said you had plans for dinner, I sort of, I sort of guessed you had a date or something,” he replied, slowing down as he realized his mistake.
I laughed at this. “No, I am not going out today. Or anytime soon, for that matter,” I added as an afterthought, smiling as I shook my head. Relationships during the Downfall? A laughable thought. “Actually, I was just thinking about getting some pizza from this place across the street for today, that okay? The house is completely empty of anything edible, so…”
“Uh, yeah, pizza’s fine,” Frank answered, still recovering from his embarrassment.

Twenty minutes later, we were sitting at the coffee table again, on the floor this time, our legs tucked in under the table, eating our pizzas silently. Taking a bite of my plain cheese slice, I pondered for a moment.
“Hey, shouldn’t you call your parents to let them know you’re not coming home?” I asked.
“They’re out of town, don’t even know I’m gone.”
I nodded, and we continued to eat in silence for a few minutes.
“If you live that far away,” I asked as the thought came to me for the first time, “how did you find the flyer?”
“Oh, I was in town that day. I’m going to rent a place around here somewhere, see, and was looking at possible places when I saw the flyer. I thought it’d be good to join and get to know some people that live around here.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” I said with a nod. I finished my meal and put the cardboard box down on the coffee table.
“So…what’s the deal with the band?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, you know, why’d you start it and stuff?” Frank asked, gulping down a bite of pizza.
I hesitated. I was just going to give him an “I dunno, felt like it,” but that would surely end the conversation, reverting it back to awkward small talk. Might as well pass the time. Plus, he deserved to know what he was in for.
“Well…to piss off my parents, I guess,” I said. I immediately cringed at how stupid that sounded. Frank probably was wondering how old I was, sitting here talking like an angry rebellious 15 year old. I blinked. What did I care what this guy thought? “Well, they want me to be some sort of super-rich businessman, you know? I mean, what does that even mean, “businessman”. Such a general phrase. At least give me an area to work in. Anyway, you know, it wasn’t just them, really, my whole family was at it, raising their expectations of me, I don’t even know why me, I have cousins my age, but yeah, basically, I had a lot of pressure. I guess I was getting tired of it. And then I got fired from my job, and, I don’t know, just decided to not care anymore, I guess? At all. I decided to, you know, ruin the rest my life because why the fuck not. And that included starting a band. Sounds stupid out loud, but…”
“No no, it doesn’t, really,” Frank replied. I noticed he had a slight smile tugging at his lips. Was he laughing at me? I looked up to his eyes to confirm and truly noticed them for the first time. They were a…well, I didn’t really know what color. They weren’t just one color. Yellow, green, brown. Hazel, I suppose, but more. I brought my thoughts back to his smiling mouth.
I squinted suspiciously, leaning forward. “Don’t laugh at me.”
A full smile broke across Frank’s face. “I’m not,” he said, raising his eyebrows in innocence. His smile shrank for a second as his eyes flicked down to my lips, then back up to my eyes just as quickly. I sat back, aware of our closeness. “It’s just,” he continued, his laughing smile back, “you’re being a bit overdramatic, don’t you think? Everyone gets fired, tons of people’s parents expect a lot from them, but you’re not supposed to give up on life.”
I was annoyed, and frankly a bit mad. Who the fuck was he to tell me what I wasn’t supposed to do? He didn’t get it. I turned back to tell him to fuck off, and stopped. His amused face greeted me, his eyes lit up, glinting.
“Well, maybe it’s all a bit overdramatic,” I admitted, letting a smile appear on my face.
Frank giggled his giggle. “Are you kidding? You are a drama queen.”
I grinned. I wasn’t angry anymore. “You think that’s dramatic? I’ve nicknamed this whole thing my ‘downfall’.”
He doubled over in laughter. Watching him, I couldn’t help but start to laugh, too. Soon, we were both laughing our asses off. We would slow down, catch our breath, then someone would snort again, and we were off. It wasn’t even that funny, really, but my nerves had me in hysterics. As for Frank, I don’t know what made him laugh. The guy just liked to laugh, I guess.
Finally, after laughing until my stomach ached, begging me to stop, it seemed, we calmed down. I wiped my eyes, snickering.
“Oh, my gosh,” I breathed. “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.” I shook my head. “Too long.” I looked up at Frank, who was smiling at me. I smiled back, a genuine smile. Hadn’t done that in a while, either.
Frank’s smile faltered, and he looked down at the table, then back at me. His eyes seemed to be searching my face. His mouth opened the tiniest bit, and, thinking he was going to say something, I leaned forward a little. He did, too, and suddenly his lips were on mine, pushing me back. The abrupt presence of his mouth on mine shocked me, and I would’ve gasped if not for being kissed. My heartbeat quickened at an abnormal rate, and I felt my whole face heat up. I was freaking out. I quickly but gently pushed Frank back, completely startled. I could feel my mouth open in disbelief, and my face was I’m sure incredibly red.
“I—um, sorry—but—I, I,” I stuttered, not making any sense. But Frank seemed to understand, and his face was a deep crimson as well. He jumped back, a mortified look on his face.
“Oh, my god, I’m so sorry,” he said, jumping to his feet. “God, what was I thinking? I am so sorry.”
“It—it’s fine, really,” I stammered, my eyes still wide in shock. I stood up too. Frank wouldn’t meet my eyes, avoiding eye contact. “Uh. I’m gonna. Um. Go to bed,” I said. “Are you, do you need something to sleep in?”
“Nonono, I’m fine, you go to bed, uh, good night,” he replied, his words rushing out.
“Yeah, good night,” I said, and made my way into my room, my heart still hammering in my chest. I turned off the light and went straight to bed without changing.
I lay awake, staring at the ceiling. God, I felt awful. If I was this embarrassed, I couldn’t imagine what Frank was going through. I closed my eyes and thought about his lips against mine. They had tasted good, minty and cool. They had felt good. Why had I even stopped? No, it was the right thing to do. Frank didn’t want to be with me, trust me. It would end up bad. Even so, I spent most of the night thinking about what had happened, and fell asleep savoring the feeling.

Notes

Wow, and I thought the previous chapter was long. Maybe this isn't even that long of a chapter. Is it? My inexperience is showing.
Anyway, WOO NEW CHAPTER. I'm probably wayyy more excited than readers. Oops. Okay so, I'm trying to get into a system here. I will definitely try to NOT have a weekly update, but instead two or more chapters a week. School's going to start soon, so we'll see how that turns out. Leave a comment telling me what you think, it means a lot!
Thanks~