You are not in this alone

White, white, and more white color, everywhere I look around, everything were white or a monochromatic color, I was sitting in the kitchen, listening the Dr. Death Defying pirate radio show, the usual radios could not tune to that channel, so I used an old radio that I took from the alley when a few killjoys were murdered in front of me a year ago.
I really love that show, the way he wants to change the world and how he inspire the Killjoys and everyone who listen to him, that you shouldn't let the government take control over you, and that the fact of being different is totally okay, that being different it's even great.

I was daydreaming about how much I'd like to go out and make the difference, as the Killjoys did, I admire them, no like a fan thing, it was a lot respect for their bravery and for their ideas, I want to be like them, and then a voice took me out of my thoughts.
-Good morning honey, what are you doing? - My mom asked
-nothing much- I answered while I turn off the radio.
-You were listening to that show again? , Scarlett, you know that's prohibited, you can get in a lot of troubles- my mother were looking at me with concern in her eyes.
-Are you gonna betray me? - I asked sarcastically
-Obviously I wouldn't do that, but you know how is your father about the law stuff - She said.
-yeah- I sighed - Sorry, but the things are really boring in here, life is boring in here, everywhere I look there's white color and the stupid BL/Ind. logo- I said, my mom looked at me like she was understanding everything I was saying, and maybe she was tired of it too.
-I know you are, but it's an irony hear you complain about it while you are wearing black clothes and the fact that your hair is blue- she said with a half-smile.
I looked at my recently dyed hair, and the deep blue color of it -Well, it just mean that I'm tired of being normally boring as everyone else.-
-You know, the things weren’t this way when I was younger, I remember living a few miles away from Battery City when I was a high school student in 2001, there was a lot of color, fun and noise everywhere, I was a huge punk music fan, so I was always on concerts or singing out loud my favorite songs inside my room, in those days you can wear everything you want and being anyone you want to, they were wonderful times, and then in 2012 Better Living took the control over everything and here we are- She said, I was able to catch a spark of nostalgia and happiness in her eyes, she had a "happiness" pill in one hand and a glass of water on the other, she stood in silence a while and then she said –The world changed fast, before they teach you a lot of stuff in school, everyone was able to express themselves and you use to be able to be yourself, now the world is just zones, in the school they only teach about Better Living and how great they are, nobody want a children who can reason by his own, you can’t be yourself, you can’t express yourself, things are so…- She stop taking, her sight was lost, she was so in deep in her thoughts, and then she swallow the pill and washed it down with the water. I was looking at her, she seem so different while we were talking, I realize that she miss the old times, the freedom, and I came up with the conclusion that she hated the BL/ Ind. As much as I do, then after a silent time she smiled at me, the spark of light that was inside her eyes while we were talking was fading away, she began to stammer softly –You know, we are better now, everything is great- I was surprised about her mood change and her blank stare was freaking me out. – Never let them take the light behind your eyes- She whispered with a “smile”, not a happiness smile, just an auto smile that the BL/Ind. Medication gave her, but I can notice all the sadness in her eyes and then she walked away and she started to wash the dishes.

-Good morning- my father said while he was walking into the kitchen, I was still a little shocked about the conversation with my mom, there were a lot of thing that I didn’t know about her and her past, and a lot of more stuff that I don’t know about my father either, but seeing my mom being a totally different person as she always was, and watching her alive, without the chemical stuff of the pills in her blood, made me wonder about her past, was she a rebel when she was younger?.
My fathers shouted my name, I jumped a little for the surprise and again I surprised myself being deep in my thoughts ignoring the world around me. –Scarlett, did you take your pills today? - He asked in a rude tone.
– Uhm, sure, I did- I lied. I answered a little pissed off, he was always yelling at me, although he take the medication every day, he was always in a bad mood with me, and the thing that infuriated me was the “smile” in his face, that fucking industrial fake smile always on his face, on the face of my mom, on everyone’s face, but mine.

Notes

It's really late, but I can't stop writing, let me know if there's any grammar mistake please, comment if you like it, if you hated it, comment too, I'll be glad to know your opinion (: