I'm Not Okay

When I got to the bottom of my stairs I started to go into my kitchen but my doorbell rang and I stopped what I was doing to answer it; I was expecting it to be Mikey it my mother but instead it was Ray holding one of those giant teddy bears.

"Surprise!" He yelled as he came in.

"Ray!" I said as I hugged him.

"Frankie! How's my nephew?" He asked as he set the beat down on the sofa.

"He's amazing, he just woke up. Wanna meet him?" I asked.

He nodded and I told him to wait down stairs while I went to grab peanut. As I got into his room, Gerard was making faces at him while redressing him.

"Hey little man." I said as I picked him up when gee was done, "someone's here to meet you."

"Who?" Gerard asked as he wiped his face with one of the baby wipes.

"Ray," I said as I carried him out if the room, "oh hey, brush your teeth before you come downstairs." I smiled at him, he glared at me as I left the room but I couldn't help but smile.

When I got downstairs Ray was staring at me baby in awe and I carefully placed him in his arms.

"Alright peanut, here's Uncle Ray."

"Dear god he's so damn cute."

"Thanks."

Ray and I had small talk for a bit until Gerard came downstairs, when he saw Ray holding Bryce his face hardened. I don't think Ray noticed but I sure did.

"Hey Gee, what are you doing here?" Ray asked.

"I've been staying here for a few days, you know, helping out frank with the baby."

"Nice. Does being around the baby so much make you and Lynz want a baby?" He asked.

"Uh... Lynz and I are getting a divorce." He said awkwardly.

"Oh I'm sorry."

After that we fell into silence, Gerard looked kinda pissed off and Ray looked like he didn't know what to do. After a few minutes Bryce started to scrunch up his face and he began to cry. I could tell Ray didn't know what to do.

"I swear I didn't do anything!" Ray said.

"You're fine, he's probably hungry. I'll go make him a bottle." I said while laughing, the look on Rays face was priceless.

After I made the bottle I offered Ray to feed him and he did. Gerard just looked pissed just watching Ray feed his son. I didn't understand why though, my mom and his brother fed him before and he never had a problem. When he was done feeding him I burped him and have him back to Ray, not long later he started to get fussy so I had to go upstairs to his room and get his pacifier. When I came back downstairs Gerard looked even more pissed.

"Okay guys I'm gonna go home now." Gerard said as he stood up.

Home? He lives here with me and peanut. Did I do something wrong? Did I upset him in anyway? What did I do wrong?

Gerard slammed the door as he left and I sat there with my mouth open, I stood up to go after him but I stopped at the door, I didn't want to leave Bryce alone, yeah he had Ray but I still didn't want to leave him with anyone but me. Ray saw my hesitation then stood up and handed me the baby.

"I'm gonna pretend like I don't notice anything going on with you guys and go into your music and room and mess with your stuff. Have fun." He said then walked up my stairs. I smiled at him before going outside.

Fuck it was cold. When I made my way to the driveway I saw Gerard turning on his car and he was about to reverse.

"Gerard!" I yelled.

He turned around to see me and when his eyes fell to Bryce his eyes widened and he came out if the cat quickly.

"What the fuck Frank! It's freezing, he shouldn't be out here." He said taking off his jacket and putting it over Bryce.

"Gerard we need to talk."

"Okay but inside I don't want him to freeze."

"Rays inside." I told him.

"Fine then, in my car." He said then pushed me into the passenger’s seat, after he closed the door he climbed into driver’s seat and turned on the car and turned up the heat.

"How is he?" He asked when I wrapped him up in Gerard's jacket.

"He's fine; he was only out in the cold for a minute." I assured him. He looked down at peanut longingly.

"So you wanna tell me what that was about?" I asked him.

"It's just not fair; everyone gets to hold my son but me. I'm really sick of it."

" Gee, I understand what you're saying but that doesn't excuse you to saying you’re going 'home' and leave. I thought this was your home and I thought you were gonna leave us." I said, during the second part I didn't look at him I looked down at peanut who was looking up at me.

"Frankie... Look at me." I slowly looked up at him.

"I may have done some stupid stuff in the pass, but I wouldn't never do something as stupid and leave you two."

I smiled at him at him and he smiled back and leaned in for a kiss, I pecked his lips then pulled away.

"How long have you had those staples?" I asked.

"Almost a week."

"Well that's good enough for me." I said moving around in my seat to give Gerard the baby.

"What! Frank, no I can't! It's not time, what if-"

"Gerard," I said as I pushed peanut to his chest. "If you don't hold the baby, he'll fall. Do you want that to happen?"

He shook his head then folded his arms and I stuck peanut in his arms and he held him close, I think I even saw a tear stream down his face.

"I'm holding my son." He said aloud, "I'm actually holding him." He said then let out a shaky breath, "I love you so much little man." He said then kissed Bryce's forehead.

Then Bryce did something I didn't expect him to do for a while, he let out a little giggle.

Notes

So a lame filler with very minimal drama? I'll try to add more drama or more something next chapter

Till next we meet my killjoys