I'm Not Okay

"Alright Frank, here's your baby." Dr. Shannon said as Bryce's face showed up on the monitor one last time. "Next time you see him it will be face to face."

"Thank you doc." Gerard said as he squeezed my hand.

"Okay Frank, I know you don't want this but it's time to for the steroids."

"Okay do it." I said as I closed my eyes, she injected my IV and it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.

"Alright, so in about thirty-six hours we will perform the C-section." She said before she smiled and left.

"He's almost here Frank." Gerard said as he rubbed my hand.

I smiled at him and leaned my head against the pillow and closed my eyes. My baby is almost here.


******36 hours later*********

"Okay Frank, are you sure you don't want anyone in here with you?" Dr. Shannon asked me through her mask. She was all ready to go and so was I, my mom, Gerard, and Mikey were standing in my room watching me before they wheeled me away into the operating room.

"I’m sure." I said and they started to pull me away.

"Wait," Gerard said and everyone stopped to look at him. He ignored their looks and came next to me. "I know we never talked about it but I wanna be there. I wanna be in the room when Bryce is born. I wanna see him when he comes out and I wanna hear his first cries and see when he opens his little eyes, and - just please, can I be in the room with you?"

"I-uh I, I-uh-"

"Frank we need to get going." Dr. Shannon said with a soft look.

"Ok." I whispered.

Gerard's smile was so big his face could crack in two. One of the nurses took Gerard away so he could get dressed in a pair of scrubs. Dr. Shannon didn't wait for him though, she took me in the room and she numbed me up.

"Okay frank your gonna feel some pressure but no pain, okay?"

"Can't we wait a bit longer for Gerard?" I asked, the little blue screen was up so I couldn't see what was going on.

“Don’t be scared Frank, plus Gerard should be here before I make the cut, I’m just disinfecting your stomach. Relax.” She told me.

I nodded and took a few deep breaths. One of the nurses brought in a stool and placed it next to my head; I’m guessing that’s for Gerard when he gets here. I’m actual happy he asked to be in here with me; I’m getting pretty nervous and glad that he’ll be here.

“Okay Frank, I can’t wait much longer, he needs to come out.” Dr. Shannon told me.

“Okay, go for it.” I said, she nodded then started to move her hands on my stomach and I felt an intense amount of pressure on my belly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be late.” Gerard said rushing in and sitting on the stool next to me. He was fully covered in blue scrubs but I could tell he was smiling at me. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Here we go Frank.” He whispered.

“Here we go,” I agreed.

The C-section took about an hour, Dr. Shannon and her team took their time and wanted to make sure everything was done property, she also had some people take notes and out what was going on and how my organs looked compared to other females. When I asked why she said it was in case I got pregnant again later in my life or other male had the same conditions as me. I asked her if it was possible to remove the organs that made me able to carry a child but she said no; so I guess I’d just have to be careful so Bryce doesn’t end up with a little brother or sister. Gerard on the other hand kept his eyes on me, not once looking over at my belly to see what the doctors were doing. If I was in his place I would be checking it out and seeing what they were doing but then I remembered, he’s afraid of needles.

“Not much longer now Frank.” Dr. Shannon informed me.

“Were about to meet our son.” I whispered to Gerard.

“I’m kinda nervous.”

“Don’t you dare chicken out on me now Way.”

“Not even in your dreams Iero.” He said right back at me then we laughed.

The next few minutes were silent, both of us afraid to say anything and mess up Dr. Shannon. I was nervously biting my lip and Gerard was stroking my hair for comfort, I’m not gonna tell him, but I always enjoy it when he does that.

“And he’s out!” Dr. Shannon said loudly, seconds later I heard his cry echo the room, he was here, my baby was finally here. I felt tears pour over my eyes, “Out at 4:24pm. Gerard, do you wanna cut the cord?” She asked.

Gerard nodded, tears now brimming his eyes, and then he leaned down and placed one more kiss to my forehead and walked over to the doctor.

“He’s precious Frankie.” He said with a shaky voice, I couldn’t see what he was doing or my baby yet so I wiggled around.

“I wanna see!” I whined like a child. I heard some laughter from the room then Dr. Shannon came over to my head holding Bryce and leaned him over so I could see.

“He’s perfect,” I whispered as I stroked his face with my finger. “C-can I hold him?”

“We can place him on your chest while I close your stomach.” Dr. Shannon offered.

I violently nodded and she laughed as she placed him down on me, both my hands wrapped around his small body tightly as he continued to cry. Gerard came back over to his stool and his hand gently stroked his jet black hair on the top of his head. His tears were now falling down his face and pressed another kiss to the top of my head.

“Thank you, thank you so much Frankie. He’s perfect, he’s my everything. I’m so sorry for acting like an ass, I love him so damn much, and I love you.” He said.

I leaned up and pressed my lips up to him and he down and kissed me through the blue scrubs he had on, we lingered for a moment before Bryce let out another cry and we broke apart and laughed.

“Is this okay with you?” I asked him.

“Okay Frank, you’re all one piece again, we need to take him to the nursery to check him out now.” She said and a nurse took him from my arms.

“How soon can we see him again?” I asked.

“About an hour.” She said while smiling.

I could wait an hour. We’d have Bryce for the rest of our lives.

Notes

I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN FOUR DAYS, I was really bust between school, friends and homecoming was last night. I went on a Farris Wheel for the first time and the entire time my friend was yelling "Were gonna die!" and "It's gonna break!", she didn't know it was my first time on and after when I told her she felt bad.

Till next we meet my killjoys