You only hear the music when your heart begins to break

Gerard's POV
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Rolling over to face the wall, tears sliding from my eyes, I tried to sleep... Two hours later, it finally happened.
Perhaps I should've stayed lost.... Perhaps I should've just let them kill me....
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When I awoke, the bus was moving. I could feel the rocking motion as we headed towards... Huh.. Where the FUCK are we going now? Oh well, anywhere's better than that LAST shithole.
Coughing a little and rubbing my bruised jaw, my tongue poking into the freshly made gap, I pushed myself to sit up in my bunk.
After a minute or two just sat there, listening to the mumbled voices coming from the kitchen area of the bus, and wondering when I'll get the chance to replace my bottles, I decided I may as well get up and face the music. THIS was NOT gonna be pretty!
Swinging my legs onto the floor, I cursed my weak stomach as it churned with every bump in the road...Please don't be sick, please don't be sick, please don't be sick... I chanted in my head, as I made my way shakily down the tour bus til I reached the living area "Morning.." I murmured quietly to the group. Three pairs of eyes turned toward me. BOY, they looked pissed.
"Is THAT all you have to say?.." Mikey growled at me. I flinched, looking down at my bare feet ".. Where the FUCK were you Gerard?.. We were worried sick.." He trailed off. I couldn't look at him. Couldn't BARE to see the disappointment.
"Mikey I..." Suddenly I was interrupted by Frank stepping over to me and raising his hand toward my chin.
For a moment, I thought he was going to hit me, and in closed my eyes with a small gasp. The blow never came.
Instead, Frank gently took my chin in his hand and turned my face to the right "Gerard?.. " He all but whispered ".. What happened to your face?" God. He sounded like he actually cared. But I knew different. He'd told me himself, he'd said the words I'd been thinking for a while now. He'd said- ".. Maybe we would've ALL been better off if you'd killed you're self back then......."
He didn't care. This was just for show. Well, guess I'll play along "Nothing" I turned my face away, feeling tears start to burn at my eyes. Don't cry. Not now.
I swallowed back the tears as Frankie grabbed me and spun me around to face him again "Gerard.. Please?.. Your jaw is all beat up.. What happened?"
Mikey and Ray had joined us, standing in the kitchen "Fuck Gee.. Who did that?" Mikey demanded, stroking one finger down my cheek and across my swollen jawline.
One tear escaped my eye as I realised I had no choice, and I stared at the ground as it rattled beneath our feet "I.." I glanced up at them all. Would they be sympathetic? Or would they say I had it coming?... Perhaps I did "I was attacked.." I mumbled toward my toes ".. They..." I couldn't tell them what those monsters did, or what they were GOING to do, if it wasn't for Nic ".. I'm ok" I closed my eyes and waited for their angry voices to tell me it was my own fault for wandering off... And they'd be right too.
They didn't shout.
Suddenly I felt warm arms wrapping around my thin frame, then another pair, then another.
All three of them were holding me in a tight group hug, like the ones we USED to have, before it all went wrong.
Tears began to free fall down my cheeks as I leaned against my friends for support. GOD, I missed this.
After a minute, Frank was the first to pull away, turning toward the bunks. He paused at the entrance to the sleeping area, but didn't look back "I'm glad you're ok" He murmured, then disappeared off down the bus. I was SURE he was crying...

Notes

Hi there, Geesgirl here.
sorry I been neglecting this fic, I got caught up in my other 7 :)
please comment, the more you do, the more we'll write!
peace out my chipmunks
<3