You only hear the music when your heart begins to break

*Frank's POV*

I was so fucking mad at Gerard. He always told me he was doing this music career for the fans but what does he do? He fucking walks off the stage and leaves the fans. The fans that he supposedly did this for. Honestly I couldn’t even stand to look at him at the moment. I could see the tears falling down his face; I didn’t try to wipe them away like I would have down before. No I just let them fall.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were drinkin’ again..” I growled out to him. but I knew that wasn’t true, he had been sober for a couple of years now and all of us know that Gerard isn’t smart enough to hide him being drunk. I was still mad and I wasn’t thinking, I said the next thing that had been on my mind ever since he had kissed me on stage.

".. Maybe we would've ALL been better off if you'd killed you're self back then......." I held my breath, holy fuck I didn’t mean for that to come out. I saw Gerard look at me with a shattered look in his eyes. Almost like his whole world had exploded. I couldn’t stand that look on his face, so I looked away from him. We were standing there in a silence that lasted for about two minutes, I had enough with it. Without another word I stormed past him and on the bus shutting it. I was standing in front of it with my arms crossed and seething in anger.

“Hey Franko, you alright?” I glared up at the voice and saw Ronnie’s concerned face staring back at me. I sighed and ran hand through my hair.

“Yeah Ron..I’m fine…” He gave me a look of disbelief and I just walked past him not wanting to listen to him. I walked into the bunk area and sat in my bed. It was right across from and I stared at it. Remembering all the good times we’ve had on that bunk. Our first kiss together, the first told we said I love you, the first time we had sex on the bus…I shook my head and mentally scolded myself.

Stop it Frank, you can’t be thinking of those. Just get them out of your mind

I sighed; the only way I was going to do that was if I distracted myself. I pulled my acoustic out and started to play random chords and not paying attention to what was going on around me. I played until my fingers went numb and I couldn’t feel the tips of them anymore. I groaned, that had only distracted me…I looked at my phone.

“Holy fuck!” I shouted. “I was playing my guitar for 2 hours!?” I stared at my phone that can’t be right…

“Yes sir you were,” I jumped at the new voice. I looked up and saw Mikey standing in front of me with his arms crossed and leaning against Gee’s bed. “We tried to get your attention but you were so focused that you wouldn’t even glance up.” I looked at him shocked. There was no way I did that.

”What did you want anyway?” I asked, changing the topic.

He ran his hands through his blonde hair and fixed his glasses. “We were wondering where Gee is, he hasn’t come back.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Didn’t he come in after me?”

Mikey shook his head. “No, you came in and we were waiting for Gerard to come back but he didn’t. So now we can’t leave until we find him.”

I groaned, of course it’s Gerard’s fault. It always is. I mentally laughed at how accurate that was. I didn’t let what I was thinking show, knowing Mikey he would know and hit me. he was always protective of his brother.

“Mikey, calm down I’m sure he’s fine.” I told him but he shook his head.

“No I don’t think so; he doesn’t have his phone or wallet on him and he has no idea what city we’re in.” Mikey told me with a bit of panic his voice. I just shrugged, it didn’t matter to me. He would find a way back, he always does.

“What did you even say to him that made him act like this?” Mikey questioned me. I knew that was coming up but I didn’t want to answer it. Even though I didn’t show it, I felt really bad for what I said. I knew I shouldn’t have said it, we all were affected by his attempts at suicide and when I said that he would probably take it literal and not as something said in the heat of the moment.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair again. “I ugh may have told him that ugh...itwouldhavebeenbetterifhekilledhimself.” I said the last part really fast hoping he wouldn’t ask me to repeat it, but of course he did.

“Alright Frank, cut the shit and speak slower. What did you tell him?”

I took a deep breath and repeated myself. “That it would have been better if he killed himself.” I watched as Mikey’s turned from panic-y to anger in a split second.

“You told him what!?” He shouted at me. He may seem calm and never show his emotion, but when he’s mad. Get the fuck out of the way. “Do you have any what you might have done!? He’s been gone for almost three hours! Who knows what he’s done! He could be dead because of you!” He shouted at me and then stomped off. I stared after him and the effect my words may have had on Gerard started to finally sink in.

The longer Gerard didn’t come back. I started to worry.

The longer Gerard stayed away the longer i worried that he was dead.

This was the first emotion i had felt toward Gerard ever since he kissed me. And that honestly scared the fuck out of me.

Notes

Idiot here! Hope you enjoy this chapter c: tbh whenever i read Gees chapters i'm like damn...how can i compete with that..but i try my best.

Frankie is an asshole in this chapter


Anyway comment, etc. just enjoy this okay? (ps panic! at the disco was sooooo good)