You only hear the music when your heart begins to break

Gerard's POV

“Alright, spill.” Frank grunted at me. Fuck, this is gonna be hard.. He doesn't even wanna be talking to me..
"I'm sorry Frank.." I said, my eyes glued to the ground as I searched for the right words to make him forgive me ".. I KNOW I promised I wouldn't do that any more, and then I did, and I.. I.. Ugh.. I just..." Tears were starting to run down my cheeks again and I brushed them away in frustration ".. I guess I just.. I.."
"Oh for FUCK sake Gerard.." Shit, he didn't call me Gee ".. Look at you.. You're a mess.. You break your promise, do ..THAT.." He spat, venomously ".. And yeah, I left the stage.. But you guys coulda carried on without me... Instead.. YOU fuckin' walked off.. You left everyone high and dry Gerard.. The FANS, Gerard!... You always said it was FOR the fuckin' fans... You really screwed up.. I can't even stand to look at you right now.." Tears were in free fall down my face now, he hates me.. Oh GOD, he actually hates me ".. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were drinkin' again.." Then he said something I never thought I'd hear him say to me.. And my world exploded ".. Maybe we would've ALL been better of if you'd killed you're self back then......." Silence fell between us as I tried to comprehend what had just happened.. I think we BOTH stopped breathing, I couldn't look at him.. I couldn't breath.. And after about two minutes of nothing.. He just turned and went inside, closing the bus door behind him.
FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK! I'd ruined everything, and now he hates me.. The man I love, SO much more than I love myself..and he HATES me... Oh God.. I've lost him.. Perhaps he's right.. Perhaps I SHOULD'VE ended it a long time ago? Put everyone out of their misery?.. Shit, my head hurts, hangover, here I come.. Oh God Frankie.. Why do I have to be such an idiot?.. He TOLD me to stop, TOLD me he didn't want to do that... FUCK!
My heads spinning slightly, and I blink back tears to realise that I've wandered away from the bus, away from the CARPARK actually, and now, I don't even know where the fuck I am.
It's getting dark, and I'm in a strange place.. not even sure what TOWN we're in right now, let alone where EXACTLY I am.. and I left my cell, AND my wallet, back on the Goddamn bus.. "FUCK!" Well, THAT got a few funny looks off passers by. I'd be laughing now, if I wasn't kinda scared.
If I had my cell, I could call Ronnie, have him come pick my worthless ass up, but I don't.
If I had my WALLET, I could use a pay phone to call.. Uh.. Oh.. Wait.. The only number I know by heart, is Frankie's.. And I think right now, he'd probably hang up on me... I'm screwed!
I'm lost, it's now FULLY dark, I got no money, and no way to call the guys for help... And Frankie hates me....
Slumping down to sit on the curb, I cry into my hands. Have they noticed I'm gone?... Do they even care?.........
FUCK I need a drink.....

Notes

Geesgirl here, hands up who's feeling sorry for Gee right about now?..
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peace out my chipmunks
<3