You only hear the music when your heart begins to break

*Frank's POV*

I was sitting in the waiting room with my head in my hands thinking about what I just said to Gerard, or rather lack of what I said. He spilled his love out to me and even kissed me. What did I do? I left. I turned out and left. Walked out, just like I did the first time we broke up. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized something…Gerard was never the problem. It was always me. I had to go apologize to him. I had to explain to him how after all this time I always thought the real problem was him when in reality it has always been me. I hopped out of my chair and walked down to Gerard’s room. I got to his door and put my hand on the door knob about to open it when I froze. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t go in there and tell him how I basically accused him of ruining our relationship when we both knew it was me, but it took me our whole relationship then sometime after to realize it was never him but me.

I put my forehead against the cold wood and took a breath. I could do this, I know I could. I tried to turn the knob but my hand was frozen and wouldn’t move. Turns out I couldn’t do this. I truly was a coward. Mikey walked by and stopped to look at me.

“Oh for fucks sake,” he exclaimed rolling his eyes. “Look at you, you’re afraid to turn a door knob. A door fucking knob. What happened to the strong guitarist who was never afraid to speak out to paparazzi who would say shit about you? but here you are afraid to walk into my brothers room. A guy who is so fucking miserable because of you!” He pushes me against the wall. I had to look up to him because let’s face it everyone is taller than me. But not Johnny Christ, he’s the same height. We should form a club…the garden gnome club…(A/N if you get this reference about gnomes I will love you forever) I was losing my train of thought…again.

“…and face it Frank we all know that you’re just afraid of losing him as he is of you.” Mikey finished talking. I totally missed the first part but I was just gonna go with it and nod, so that is exactly what I did. He nodded in approval, then opened the door and shoved me inside. I stumbled into the room and heard the door click shut behind me.

“Gerard I-“ I was about to continue but I finally looked up and what I saw chilled me to the bone and would be etched into my mind forever.

Lying on the floor with an empty bottle of pills clutched into his hands. I let out an ear splitting scream that ended in a sob. I heard the door behind me crash open and a doctor came running in.
“Whats wrong?” the doctor asked.

I stared at him shocked, like he couldn’t see the half dead body on the floor so I simply pointed to Gerard with a shaky hand and tears running down my cheeks. The doctor followed my arm and he froze.

“Shit.” He ran out and called for more doctors and nurses, soon the whole room was full of people and someone was grabbing my arm trying to drag me out but I kept on fighting them and trying to get to Gerard shouting.

“No! this is my boyfriend and all my fault!” I sobbed and kept trying to reach him but a nurse had his arms around my waist and was holding me back. the doctors had gotten Gerard back in his bed but I was still trying to fight the nurse and get to Gerard.

A doctor looked over and shouted, “Nurse Williams please get him out of here!”

“I’m trying!” He shouted, “But he wont stop struggling!”

“Then sedate him! I don’t care we need him out of here!”

He nodded and took something out of a big pocket, I was too focused on trying to get out of his grip to notice what was about to happen.

I was crying and reaching for Gerard when I felt a pinching on my left arm I looked down to see that the nurse had stuck a needle in my arm and pressed the plunger. I looked up to him. He looked back apologetically. I could feel the sedatives start to work and I was drifting off to sleep. The last thing I heard was Gerard moaning in pain as the doctors emptied his stomach and the slow but steady beeping of his heart. But then nothing as I my eyes slipped closed and I grew limp in the nurses arms.

Notes

It's been awhile eh? Sorry i've been really busy...but i start running on monday after out from track for 6 weeks and im going to a meet that day so woo!

i hope you like this :)

~IdiotDeathJoy

PS. since cleveland is like 3 hours away from me, i was so close to seeing green day. my mom tried for over 30 minutes to get tickets but they were sold out... ;-;