You only hear the music when your heart begins to break

Gerards POV
"I told you, I fucking told you I didn’t want this anymore! And what do you do? Our first concert like this you disrespect my wishes! Just like you disrespect everyone else!” Oh God, he was shouting at me. What do I do? What do I do?... And now he was leaving the stage, pushing past me with hatred in his eyes.. Please don't hate me Frankie...
We were in the middle of a FUCKIN' song, and now he'd just left... My heart was pounding against my chest, and my eyes were burning with tears... I CAN'T DO THIS... And now I'M running from the stage, grabbing my "water" bottle (for water, READ vodka), and dashing off towards our tour bus, ignoring frustrated yells from Ray and my brother behind me, and from our tour manager as I passed him in the hallway.
Pushing out the rear door of the venue, I headed straight for the bus... It wasn't supposed to be like THIS... I still LOVE him...
Climbing onto the bus and slamming the door behind me, I ran for my bunk and threw myself down, clutching the bottle tight to my chest as I heaved in huge shaky breaths... What had I just done?... I just ran out in the middle of our set!... What the FUCK'S wrong with me?... Oh GOD, the fans!... Why am I such a fuckin' screw up?
Opening my bottle, I drank deeply, feeling the liquid burn down my dry throat.
I can't DO this without him... He's my EVERYTHING, and I need him SO BAD.
I chugged the rest of the bottle quickly, just over half, in the space of three minutes... I want my Frankie back. Digging my hand under the corner of my mattress, I drag out a half empty bottle of J.D, and unscrew the cap, drinking deeply, before hurriedly closing it again, and shoving it back in its hiding spot, as I hear the door of the bus slam open...
"GERARD? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" Mikey yelled as he stormed inside... Oh fuck!
I was already facing into the wall, with my back to the walkway, and my privacy curtain pulled closed, so I decided to pretend I was asleep, and when my brother ripped my curtain open, I shifted a little, and faked (quite CONVINCINGLY I might add) a snuffling snore.
Mikey sighed deeply, and knowing him, shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, before turning and trudging back to our small living space to speak to whoever was there... Ray, I'm guessing.
I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but I could imagine... But right now, exhaustion from my over active emotions, and from all the booze I've been drinkin', means that I actually AM on the verge of falling asleep... And as I start to drift off, the last voice I hear is Frankie's... When did HE get here?... "I don't care Mikey, he's gotta stop now... Enough's enough..." Then I was asleep...

Notes

Hi there, Geesgirl here, I hope you're gonna like this, cos I REALLY like our idea
comment etc, I love to hear from you all
peace out my chipmunks,
<3