You only hear the music when your heart begins to break

*Gerard's P.O.V*

"What the fuck are you doing Gerard!?”


Oh shit, oh fuck.. This is SOOO bad "Frank.. I..I.." I swallowed thickly, the desire to vomit suddenly overtaking me ".. I'm not.. I just.. I.."
Frank raised an eyebrow at me accusingly "You WHAT, Gerard?... Huh?.. ALCOHOL, Gerard?.. Really?.." His face was red with anger ".. I can't believe you'd do this.. What the FUCK are you thinking?.." He crowded me back against the side of the aisle, my back slamming roughly into the shelves. I winced and shrunk away from him ".. I said it the other night.. I SAID it.." He seemed to be ranting to himself now, or talking to the air ".. I said that if I didn't know better, I'd think you were drinking again... What a fucking idiot!... Should've seen it.. Should've known.." He had me pinned to the shelves, his body pressed to mine as I shook and tried not to cry. He grabbed the bottle of J.D from my hand and stepped back, I missed the contact ".. I was gonna..." He hesitated, closing his eyes and shaking his head, as if trying to rid himself of his thoughts. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, raising them to meet mine ".. Everything I said the other night?.. I was gonna take it all back.. But I was right.. Wasn't i?.." He stared at me expectantly.. I gnawed on my bottom lip and tried to think. He WAS right. I broke my promise.. I broke ALL my promises.. And they WOULD all be better off if I wasn't around ".. What?.." He spat ".. Nothing to say?.." I dropped my eyes to the floor, absently noticing Frankie's pyjama bottoms and untied red converse. What did he WANT me to say? Cos I had no clue right now ".. You're pathetic Gerard.." My eyes widened as I looked up at him, I could feel the tears building up, my eyes burning as I tried to hold them back ".. No I.." He stammered, a look of shock suddenly flooding his face.
My heart faltered in my chest... I couldn't breath... I had to get away "I know" I whimpered, turning and dashing for the restrooms at the back of the store, grabbing the first bottle I saw on the way.
I THINK I heard him calling my name, but probably not... Why would he?.. I'm pathetic, right?
Slipping into the men's room and slamming the door closed, I quickly set the lock and slid down onto the dirty floor.
This was it...This was the end for me...
I would drink this, then break the bottle and cut my damn wrists.. Not like anyone would miss me.
I looked at the bottle to see what I'd even picked up.. Fuck! Absinthe!.. Well, I'M screwed!..
Last time I drank this stuff, I hallucinated that everyone was zombies, and Rays hair was trying to eat me... Then I passed out and missed two shows.. Well I guess that's not a problem now..
Opening the bottle and taking my first swig, the bitter, green aniseed liquid burning down my throat, I'm only VAGUELY aware of shouting and pounding on the door at my back.
Letting my tears fall, I drink more... The flavour's revolting, I can't STAND aniseed, but I can already feel the alcohol taking affect.. and I need to be TOTALLY trashed if I'm going to have the guts to do this.
I can feel the door shaking behind me, but I ignore it as I take another drink.. Probably someone wants to use the toilet.. Bad luck pal.
Lifting the bottle again, I get an attack of the giggles as I see tiny green rabbits dancing on my hand... THATS normal.. Right?
Another swig and I'm not sure if my hands are actually mine.. GOD, this stuff is weird.
What am I doing on the floor?..Why is Fred Durst dancing with a raccoon?..FUCK.. I'm WASTED.
Everything's getting kinda blurry now, I can't recall why I'm here, or what I was gonna... Oh yes! I remember now.. My wrists.. The bottle.. Need to.. Break.. I..
"Frankie.." I croak out as I feel myself sliding sideways, til my head hits the disgusting tiled floor ".. I'm sorry"
Then.. Nothing.......

Notes

Hi chipmunks.. GeesGirl here..
HEALTH WARNING- DONT DRINK ABSINTHE... EVER!!
comment please? Let us know how we're doing?
peace out
<3