Life is just a blur

I shake my head, shocked. Vic- Lahash and I are still in my home, and he's looking at and me grinning evilly.
"So?" he asks me.
"So what?" I say, not understanding.
"Are you with me, Semiazan? We have to defeat the angels!"
I laugh. "Why?" I ask bluntly, with a smirk because I know he will lose his temper and say everything he can to change my mind. I'm safe, he won't do anything to me because I'm his master, apparently.
He starts rambling about how angels are "perfect" and we're not and other boring things. I ignore him and everything around me, until I close my mind.
I go to the kitchen, and Lahash follows me still continuing his monologue.
I open the fridge and take some water to drink, and I notice that the small candle I usually put on the table is lit. "Lahash, did you light it up?" I ask, pointing at the candle.
He shakes his head and continues talking, while I wonder why the candle is lit up.
Maybe I lit it up earlier? I don't think so.
However, I fill a glass with some water and drink it, only to spit it in the sink.
The water is warm, even if I just took it out of the fridge. Bah.
I look at the time, it's nine o' clock. "Lahash, it's late. Do you have a place to sleep?" I ask him.
"Yeah," he sighs, slightly angry because I interrupted him again. "Do you want me to go home?"
"Um, it would be better, I think. I'll listen to you tomorrow, I'm afraid I wasn't really paying attention to your words."
"Oh, look at you, so well-mannered," he comes closer and lifts his hand, touching my neck and pulling me closer. "I wish your evil side could come back, Semiazan," he whispers in my ear.
What the hell? "Okay, Lahash, now go," I move him away from me and lead him to the door, and he goes away.
"Thank G-" I say, now alone, but my words burn on my tongue and I end up screaming in pain.
I put my hands over my closed eyes, closing my mouth to stop shouting. I fall on my knees, and I move my hair away from my face, then I sit down, eyes still closed, and I breathe slowly trying to calm myself down.
I decide to go to bed, maybe sleeping will make me feel better.


~ Time lapse, the day after, 7.00 am ~

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock, and I turn it off, because there is no school today.
Sighing, I get up, because I need to talk to a few people.
After a quick shower, I go out, walking to Sylwia’s house. However, I meet her before arriving there.
“Hey Frank!” she greets me. “How are you?”
“Lix Tetrax?” I say.
She makes a disappointed face. “You met Lahash, didn’t you?”
I nod, and she sighs. “Don’t ever listen to him. Please.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “He has your memories, and he wants you to become a demon again. He was obsessed with revolutions and, most of all, with you. It wasn’t love, just lust, we can’t really feel emotions in a normal way.”
“Now that I know that I’m a demon, what is going to happen?”
“I don’t know… You might become a demon again, or just have your powers back.” She covers her face with her hands. “Ugh. I can’t do anything without fucking up.”
She looks at me with tears in her eyes, “I should have protected you from your past, and I didn’t… I'm so sorry. And now it's going to be even harder!"
I hug her to make her stop crying, but she cries harder, her tears wet against my neck's skin.
Eventually, she calms down, and holds me tighter. "You're not a fuck-up. Remember it. Are you okay?" I ask her.
"Yeah" she whispers, and lets go of me.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm okay, trust me!" she says laughing for some reason.
"I should go now, I have to talk to Gerard."
"I know. Have fun with him, I talked to him yesterday."
She smiles for the last time and then disappears, leaving me stunned.
I change direction, and walk to Gerard's house.
I see him smoking outside his house, and he smiles shyly seeing me. The ashes fall down, and he takes another drag, exhaling the smoke in my face. "Hey," he says, smirking.
"Hey," I repeat, pecking him on his lips.
How much does he know? Should I ask him?
'Know about what?' I hear his voice, but he doesn't move his mouth 'Does he know about our past?'
Maybe I can hear his thoughts? Sylwia said something about powers...
I nod, looking at him in the eyes, and he smiles sadly. He takes one last drag and throws the cigarette, and I press it with my foot.
He opens the door and goes in, and I follow him. "How much do you know?" I ask him.
"Well, I know I was an angel, you were a demon, we both knew Sylwia, Barman was my brother and I killed myself for some reason," he says, sighing
I walk closer to him and caress his cheek. "Who's Barman?" I ask.
"Mikey, you saw him yesterday,"
I nod.
We sit on his bed, and I hold him in my arms. He puts his head on my shoulder. "I love you so much, you can't even imagine," he whispers against my skin, making me shiver.
"You're the only thing I need, Gerard. I love you too, honey," I start kissing his neck, and he stops breathing.
"Frank... I'm not sure if I can hold back..." Gerard pants in between kisses, shifting on the bed so he's straddling my hips with his. His moves are sharp but gentle, as if he knows just how much force to use when with me. I come undone underneath him, completely surrendering before even putting up an actual fight. I hook my hands underneath his shirt, caressing and squeezing and touching until he makes a hungry noise that reverberates all the way down my throat. That only motivates me more and I can't help but to gasp when his lips suddenly leave mine and travel against my jawline to my neck. My breath hitches when he bites the place behind my ear and I groan loudly, not even caring about being loud anymore. It is Gerard and he's making me his own, and that's all that matters to me at this moment. His tongue is soft and sweet against my skin and his hands are gentle on my chest, and I soon feel my own snaking upwards and entangling themselves in his hair. He moans, throatily and shamelessly as his lips are still on my neck. All the things he's doing to me are just captivating, he's leading me into the state of pure ecstasy even though he hasn't even taken off my shirt yet. Yet.
He pulls himself upwards, and before he kisses me again, he takes a moment and just stands there. His eyes are burning into mine and his lips are red and curved into a smile, his eyes smiling too.
"I love you," he grins, wide and happy and it feels more vital than air to me.
My teeth capture my lower lip and I just stare, entranced, before replying, "I love you, too." His smile gets even bigger and he lowers his lips on mine again, slower this time, as his fingers gently rest against my cheeks. I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him even closer and letting his tongue slide into my mouth. I feel it when his kisses turn a bit more passionate and needy, and I gently lower my hands to the hem of his shirt. He stops kissing me for just a second, to allow me to get it off, and then leans in again.
"I want to see you," I confess, just slightly embarrassed, but then he smiles and I'm okay. I rake my hands over his torso, my fingers creeping over his chest and creating visible goosebumps over his skin. It's white, and pale, and I just want to kiss it until I'm dead.
"I want to see you, too, then," he smirks and I roll my eyes, but take my own shirt off as his face turns slightly smug.
"God, you're beautiful," he says as soon as the cloth is gone from my body and he leans in and kisses my collarbone, making me fall backwards onto the bed again and moan in delight, my nails brushing against the smooth of his back gently. He lowers his lip onto my chest and kisses the skin around my nipple, making me whimper and clutch at his body more forcefully. He goes further down again and then I realize that his hand is resting on the buckle of my belt. I look at him, anticipation welling in the pit of my stomach as he looks at me insecurely.
"Can I...?" He trails off, glancing at his hand on my jeans and I nod slightly, shooting him a reassuring smile. He grins, almost thankfully, as he unbuckles my belt and fiddles with the zipper, and soon my pants are off.
"Shit, I really think you're hot with clothes, but this... this should be illegal." I chuckle at that, rolling my eyes as he hovers over me again, smirking.
"We're not even, though," I notice, gazing at him, "Your pants are still on." He rolls his eyes, but pecks my lips anyway.
"I can take care of that." And he does- in an instant, his pants are gone and his lips are on mine again, our hands freely groping and touching and stroking every possible part of each other's bodies, and man, it feels great.
"Do you mind if I...?" He looks at my boxers and I grin sheepishly as he takes them off, his own hitting the floor mere seconds later. He climbs back over me and I feel his fingers on my lower stomach and then my thighs. He looks at me with a question in his eyes and I just kiss him as a reply, smiling when he lowers himself. His hands are soon on my knees as his lips gently pepper kisses over my inner thighs and I'm melting beneath him, struggling to keep myself together. As he gets closer to my groin I get louder, and I can feel his smile against my skin as I moan loudly. He backs away slowly and looks up at me, his forehead creasing slightly.
"Are you sure?" I gulp loudly, not because of nerves, but excitement.
"Positive." He smiles and grabs a pillow from beside me and tucks it underneath my lower back as he leans in again to kiss me. He pulls away and fumbles inside his nightstand drawer until he extracts a condom and he puts it on the side as he kisses me again. He's being incredibly gentle and I'm enjoying it, loving the feeling of bliss I get from his skin being so close to mine. At one moment he moves away gently and pecks my cheek before biting his lip and looking at his hand.
"You, uh, could you maybe-"
"Yes, Gerard, I could, give me your hand," I smirk and he smiles sheepishly before placing his hand next to my face. I gently take it inside mine and kiss the back of it before grabbing three of his fingers and putting them in my mouth. He watches me as I coat them with saliva and I feel slightly awkward, but when I move his hand away he doesn't look weirded out, but kind of hungry. He is staring at me like I'm his obsession, and it feels more than amazing. I don't even feel it when his hand travels downwards but I definitely do when he puts a finger inside, gently, but the stretch still hurts.
He's not rushing it and he's distracting me by kissing my lips and neck repeatedly, and I'd tell him just how much I love him at that moment if I were able to find my voice. It gets pleasant soon enough and I realize a big part of me is craving for more, more friction and more speed, and I find myself pushing down against his finger. He chuckles at that and snakes another one in, careful, and I let out a needy grunt of satisfaction as his face is searching for approval to continue. He adds a third one later on, but I'm too busy seeing sparks fly before my eyes as he's brushing against my prostate to care.
"I think I'm ready," I pant, not sure if I'll be able to last if he keeps this up. He nods, kisses my cheek and pulls his fingers out. I can hear the sound of foil tearing and him spitting in his hand before he leans closer, and I can feel something hot against my ass.
"If it hurts, I don't care how much or if you can take it. If it hurts, tell me and I'll stop." I open my eyes to look at him and his face is completely serious and I just pull him by his neck and kiss him hard.
"I love you so much." He smiles,
"I love you too, baby. You ready?" I nod in agreement and I feel him pushing in, and the giant stretch; it burns slightly but I can't say it actually hurts, and all I can think of is getting my muscles to relax and how his lips are so comforting against my shoulder. I groan loudly as he's in completely and I can feel him moaning silently, then sighing in relief when I copy the sound. He finds a pace rather quickly and it's a slow one, his skin sliding against mine and constantly prickling with new sweat as his lips leave mine only for sloppy intakes of breath. I completely lose my eyesight at one moment and I'm forced by nature to arch my back and moan whorishly, closing my eyes and letting the ecstasy wash over me. Gerard recognizes it and keeps hitting the same spot and driving me insane until I can't last it anymore.
"Touch me," I pant into his shoulder, my nails digging into the skin of his upper back. He kisses my neck and complies, wrapping his fingers around me as his thursts become sloppier, almost missing the spot but returning to it quickly.
At one point I open my eyes and there he is, all thick eyelashes, flushed cheeks and damp hair with his lips parted in short intakes of breath and that sends me flying over the edge at just about the same time I feel him release inside of me. And when it's done, I feel completely drained but so, so happy I could die on the spot and not regret it. He pulls out just before he collapses beside me on the bed, his hand barely functioning enough to pull the condom off, tie it and throw it somewhere in the general direction of the door. I giggle at that, and he smiles lazily as he wraps his arm around my waist and tugs me closer. I rest my head on his shoulder as I put one leg over the both of his, looking up at him through tired eyelids. He looks absolutely dishiveled and beautiful, and I know it's probably the most gorgeous thing I've seen in my entire life. He kisses me, slowly, not even bothering to make it last more than a few seconds. I smile at him, so blissed out I can't even think, and let myself fall asleep; finally at peace.
Why?
Because the one thing I actually need just made me realize I'm the only thing he needs, too.

Notes

[eyebrow waggle]

Thanks, Milo, for everything. Love you! (check her out miro-sensei) (<3) (guess which part was written by her) (yup)
Weeell, I hope you enjoyed. Ehe.
I dyed my bangs green today! And got an haircut! I love haircuts, for some reason.
'Kay, bye!
xoxo
-Sara