The change in faces
Rainy Days
NOW:
I cant even remember how i got here all i know is that i dont like it, Gerards Falling apart, Frank plays his guitar in hope for a better day, Mikey and Ray wont even stop by the apartment and im left hanging in the balance, theres nothing here no food, no electricity no nothing, its pouring down out side and im too ill to move, my bones hurt from just lying down and so i thought id tell my story; The story of how a face can change.
I can't remember the exact dates but its a rough guess.
June.
112 ilbs.
this was when i started a food diary, frank lost a couple of pounds really easy and looked amazing, i thought id give it a try.
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THEN:
you should see him, his spikey brown hair, the lip piercing and the body, any one else would get sick of him bragging about losing weight but i loved it, he was happy, frank asked if i would help him keep track of his calories so he could maintain his weight. i said yes and joined him in the calorie counting, he looked amazing and for him to love me i guess i had to also.
My net goal is 2000 Calories, not much but it should be enough. it was enough, i knew so because of a health app i was using, for my height and weight to loose 2 pounds in a week 2000 calories was just enough.
work was a drag, the delicious scent of tomato pasta filtered through the air, i couldnt wait for the staff meal. my boss provided us with food during breaks,there was a set menu but it was organised that way, you just take a plate and eat it, this was how he avoided paying staff for breaks.
tonights was penne pasta, i took a small plate, and filled it, the smaller the plate the more you'll think you have. mind trickery
- small plate for you tonight?
it was john i served the same section as him, he how ever had a large plate stacked high with pasta.
- yeah, watching my weight, feeling fat.
- your kidding me right?! you look amazing and plus your meant to get the boss for as much food as you can. but in other news ive got a date tonight, and i cant drink on an empty stomach.
he shot me a wink and put some more pasta on his fork. i cant say its good news for john to have a date. since his abusive boyfriend john goes on grinder finds someone to hook up with and meets up for some drunk sex, careless really but its how he copes. he does this every night, hes scared to be alone - but isnt everyone?
-thats great, is he cute,fill me in!
- hes tall, tanned,cute face and the body, wow hes toned, i cant wait!
and with that sentence i was technically finished with work, i finished my plate told john good luck and headed home,i cant wait to see the boys and ill drop john a text later, to check hes ok.
i walked home to led zeppelin, followed by a couple of my chemical romance tracks, frank and the guys were in mcr, they are an amazing band from jersey. they do some gigs, but i swear they'll make it some day.
NOW:
thats how it started, and i wish it hadnt becuase now i dont eat or sleep i know im shutting my body down but i cant stop, i cant stop hurting myself and hurting the guys. i still love frank im not sure he feels the same.
Notes
its my first story so let me know how the first chapter is :) wnjoy
