But You Just Never Know (Frerard)

It had been a week since I’d last seen him. I restricted my eyes in the hallways, took a different route home from school, and steered clear of the park because of the constant paranoia. Sure, it’s been pretty sucky so far, but these precautions are more than necessary.

And I did my best to not think about any of it either, after getting slightly adjusted to the new conditions it became easier. The key to not looking suspicious is to forget about the certain thing you may or may not be being accused of, right?

Today we had a pep rally. It was mandatory, much to my despair; therefore they would be cramming four grades of students into a sweat-scented small old gym. Yay!

I did my best to make myself as small as possible and to drown out the lame jock squad and cheerleading teams as I normally did in such events. I also ignored the jostling and screaming of the other kids who surrounded me, whether they be doing so to demonstrate their school spirit or to simply catch up with their friends and foes in the most annoying way possible I didn’t know and didn’t care. Knowing or caring wouldn’t stop them; these things were all just an inevitable part of high school.

Resorting to picking at the loose threads clinging on my sweatshirt is how I kept myself entertained. That and fretting about whether or not I would fail math class this semester, as that was the class I was missing so I could attend this very much useful event. My pride levels are just through the fucking roof thanks to this incredibly educationally-stimulating array of flips and cartwheels. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be missing out on class, but this is hardly a better alternative.

I looked around to see if anyone was actually paying attention; scanning the crowd I noticed a rather balanced mix of crazy babblers and silent school-loathing students like me. Proceeding to the other stand of bleachers I quickly noticed someone, one of the quiet and still kids, looking in my direction.

Looking straight at me in fact…

Who is that? What kind of sane person continues to look at someone when they’ve clearly been caught red-handed? And who wastes their time staring at me of all people! I’m starting to get uncomfortable now, can’t he just look away?

Unless…. DAMMIT! It’s him! No no no no no!

I averted my eyes immediately after they had been filled with very noticeable realization and shock. Wow, my eyesight is terrible. His expression look slightly disconcerted, what with his eyebrows all scrunched together as if to express confusion.

Well now what am I supposed to do? Knowing his precise location I just know anytime I look up it’s gonna be straight at him… Is it just me or is this pep rally worse than usual.

Nervously forcing my eyes down in my lap for the rest of the event I prayed he didn’t make the connection between me and that crazy stalker-like-appearing creep from a week ago, but I knew it was very probable he did. We finally started to file out of the narrow doorways but the numbing roar of talking didn’t subside. Kids mulled on to their classes, taking their damned sweet time, while I tried my hardest to race out of any sort of general area that kid could possibly be in, also racing to the bathroom because after standing up I realized I had to pee. Can’t I just contemplate my yearning to crawl up in a ball and die without maintaining annoying bodily functions first?

I internally groaned at the semi-large group of other boys in line to take care of their business and waited my turn. Finally I was able to release what I assumed was one of my ritual glasses of orange juice I had for breakfast every morning while angrily ignoring everyone else beside me, when yet again I got the sense of someone staring at me through the corner of my eye. Really? In the bathroom? At the fucking urinals? Honestly what is wrong with people, they just can’t seem to get enough of the Frankster today. I prepared my best scowl to shoot at the assumable culprit when I noticed who it was.

DAMMIT x2 combo!

What a coincidence we just both had to go to the bathroom at the same time!

We both nervously looked away from each other immediately upon meeting eyes. My anger merged into complete and utter panic while I assumed his confusion subsided to such as well when he realized just what he was actually doing. After all, it usually isn’t normal to be lost in fascination with one while peeing. I suppose we’re just both uncontrollable gazers now, aren’t we? At least he had a good reason though, sort of.

I, as fast as I could, finished my business and fast-walked the hell out of there. I tell you, my calves were burning at this rate.

“God damn,” I growled to myself while making my way outside. I needed a minute away from all the hype that was miraculously still going on in the hallway.

What am I supposed to do? Completely deny my creepy-ass actions from last week when crazy mystery boys keep showing up out with their mouths slightly agape and their eyebrows knitted? I feel like anywhere I go I have unfortunate (yet in some way also very fortunate) chance that he’s gonna confront me. It’s like I have no choice to ignore last week’s past-me crazy time, no choice but to cringe at the thought of it and the sight of him forever, and I thought I was gonna be able to notlook suspicious! Things just keep getting worse and more awkward….

I was about to end my internal complaint-rant when I heard someone behind me opening the door to go outside as well. Great, more people to deal with.

“Um, hi,” I heard a familiar voice say, “uh, well first of all” he cleared his throat, “sorry about…um invading your, uh, privacy in the bathroom. If it helps I didn’t see anything!”
I turned to face him, mentally urging him to go on while trying to control my face muscles from forming awkward cringe attacks.

“Um, well, I don’t know, you just looked familiar… recently familiar… oh god this sounds so bizarre you probably think I’m a freak,” he continued.

If anyone’s the freak, it’s me, but I wouldn’t admit that. “No, no you’re fine I guess, sometimes you just have to… stare at people… who seem familiar… in bathrooms…. While they’re…. never mind. Maybe we just shouldn’t bring that up anymore?”

“Agreed,” he agreed. “But, have we met before? Somewhere?”

Wow he really doesn’t recognize it? Score! I decided to fake it then, if that was the case:“Uh, I don’t think so, I don’t even know your name….” I had to resist the urge to bite my lip as I coyly attempted to pry that bit of information off of him. Just that one bit, then my mind would be at ease… probably.

“Right, uh well, nor do I know yours, but my name is Gerard, for the record.”

I couldn’t help but smile at him, “And mine, Frank.”

He returned the smile. Then, as one would imagine, the awkward silence came, forcing us to resort to small take for a few moments. I won’t bore you with the details but it centered mainly around stuff like:
“So, the pep rally. Stupid, right?”
And:
“It’s starting to get cold out…” *sigh*.

Yeah, boring stuff like that. But like I said, it only lasted for a few excruciating moments until we found an interesting topic we could actually relate to. It was pretty elating. After that we decided to go back inside and we walked to the science hallway together, being that we both had science class then, just different teachers. We said goodbye and he said, and I quote, "You’re pretty cool, Frank. I’ll see you later, hopefully?"

The hopefully part really made me scream, internally of course. He was actually genuine about it, it seems my greatest dreams have come true. Oh god, I’m focusing all my ‘dreams’ around a boy? What am I, a conventional Disney princess? Whatever, I guess I can live with that. Just as long as Gerard is my conventional Disney prince. Did I seriously just think that?

Notes

Okay, well, sorry you had to wait so long for such a sucky chapter, but hope you enjoyed!