its all over. you're dead. gone. you don't exist. you never did. no one cares about you. everyone hates you.
everyone hates you.
everyone hates you.
you never mattered. you're worthless. that's why they did it. that's why they s-

a jolt of reality struck through my veins as i flung myself upwards, talking a huge breath in.
it was almost as if someone had held my head underwater and watched me drown. i couldn't breathe. my sweaty hands were shaking and i couldn't focus my eyes on anything, not even the beautiful, pale full moon gleaming at me from my small window. i took some deep breaths as a single tear fell down my red cheeks. this needed to stop. i reached over to my bedside table for my knife when i noticed a small card.
Gerard...
i scrambled to find my phone, and tapped in the number.
"frank?" Gerard asked, almost eagerly. his sleepy voice was so attractive...
" i-it happened...h-help me p-please" i managed to get out.
"Frank, calm down. it wasn't real. are you okay?" he says, reassuringly.
"i-i don't know i-" i'm still crying.
"give me 5 minutes" Gerard quickly mumbles before hanging up on me.
what's that supposed to mean? i held my phone next to my ear, longing to hear his voice just once more...
-5 minutes later-
i am interrupted by a short knock on my door. what? is that Gerard? i thought he meant he was calling me back?
i slowly limp to the door and answer it to a messy haired man who is wearing a comic shirt, jeans and converse.
"how'd you get here? so quick? how do you know m-"
i was cut off with a warm hug. which was a nice surprise, i guess...
oh my god. he's in my messy apartment. at 3am. i'm in my boxers. fuck.
" um, gerard?" i mentioned about 2 minutes of hugging later.
"yeah?" he replied. he sounded sleepy.
"what are you doing here?" i asked sarcastically.
"i couldn't bear the thought of you in pain" he whispered out. it was apparent that he had a tear rolling down his cheek.
"um, frank?" he mocked my voice.
"yeah?" i mocked his. i knew exactly what he was going to say.
"nice boxers" he laughed cutely.
"yeah, well it is 3am." i calmly replied. it wasn't even awkward that i was half naked.
"you look so tired" i sympathised with him.
"yeah, i really am" he yawned.
i realised we were still hugging, so i pulled away and led him to my room. he followed without even questioning.
"do you want to stay here tonight?" i tried not to make it sound like i wanted to fuck him. but i did... a lot...
"oh god please, can i?" he breathed a sigh of relief.
"just so long as you tell me why you care so much about me" i responded.
he sat on the end of my bed and looked at me. i stood in front of him, awaiting his answer.
"i don't know. you're...i'm going to be honest. i like you a lot. a lot." he blushed.
OHHHMYFUCK
i didn't say anything, i jumped onto him and pushed him back on the bed. he was about to say something, but i cut him off with a deep kiss. he kissed back to my delight, and ran his hand through my hair. i sat up, straddling him, still kissing him but almost grinding into him as well. he had both his firm hands on my waist, then lifted me off him and turned me round so he was on top of me.
"you know, sometimes being an interrogator has its perks..." he began, breathlessly.
"like what?" i reply as sexily as possible.
"being able to dominate people completely, but still be nice" he whispered into my ear, the raspyness of his sexy voice lingering in my head. he grabbed both of my arms and held them above my head, pushing them into my bed. he started kissing my neck and nibbling my earlobe.
"hey i thought you were tired?" i winked at him.
"yeah i am. this is nothing. just you waitttt" he teased. he flopped next to me and held me in his arms whilst i cuddled up next to him. i have never felt like this towards another person, and i honestly think i love him. i barely even know him. but i think i love him.

Notes

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