The Angel In My Attic

*Frank’s P.O.V*

Gerard had made moving worth it. This was the happiest I had been in my whole life, while saddest. He had become my family, more than family. It felt like I had known him forever, even though it had only been a few months at most. I enjoyed his ghostly presence, but wished for him to be real, somewhere. The more time I spent with him, the more I fell in love with him, the way he smiled, the way his eyes lit up when I did something, they way he talked. I was falling in love with everything about him. He was perfect, he cared about me, he made sure I was safe, and not alone. Maybe I was just falling in love with the idea of someone actually giving a shit about me, but I didn’t want to believe that. I didn’t want to believe that he was just an idea, a perfect idea that I had created. I wanted him to be real so I could hug him, kiss him, know that he was actually real and not just some delusion.

Sometimes I wish my mom actually cared what the hell I did, because maybe she could have gotten me help before I started falling in love with my delusions. Though I’m glad she's never home because I need Gee. I don’t know if he loves me back, or even swings that way, but hey, hes my delusion he has to like me. I don’t think I need to force him to like me. The way he looks at me its not the same way he looked at me when we first were friends, there's something else to it. He looks at me as if there's nothing else in the world that interests him more. He looks at me as if I’m special, important, everything I’m not, but he is.

Gerard made me go to school today, he told me that I need to move on with my life no matter what is trying to keep me behind. He told me that the people that beat me up are low life's that are trying to keep me from greatness. I didn’t believe anything he said, but I went anyway, to make him happy. I walked in the door of the school and I’m punched in the face and kicked in the ribs when I fell to the ground. In first hour, the whole period I’m hit with spit balls. The day continues being beat and called names. I spend one of my classes in the bathroom, cleaning the blood from my nose off my face, while crying. I shouldn’t have come today, I should have stayed home with Gee, he would have made me feel happy and safe.

I left in seventh period, skipping eighth period all together. It wasn’t worth getting another beating at the end of the day. I just wanted to drink and smoke, and maybe even hurt myself. I needed a release, to forget, to relax, anything then the hurt and everything else I felt right now. I found the homeless guy again and payed him to go get me any liquor. He delivered with a big bottle of some expensive vodka and two packs of my favorite cigarettes. I started drinking the minute I got it. I found a place in the shade under a tree and lit a cigarette and enjoyed it, but quickly moving on to another one while drinking more than half the bottle of vodka. After a while of this, I decided I better go to the house. I tried to stand but fell on my ass several times before I could get myself up. I stumbled home still drinking and smoking as I went.

“Honeyyyyyy I’m hommmeee!!” I screamed as I walked into the house. There was no answer to my drunken slurring so I made my way to the bathroom. I took a couple tries to make it up the stairs, but I did it and when I looked at myself in the mirror I broke down crying. I looked like shit, my eyes were bloodshot, my lip all busted. I was pale and unhealthy looking. I felt like shit, I looked like shit, and things weren’t going to get better. I knew they weren’t, so I grabbed my razor and rolled up my sleeve. I dragged the cold blade against my warm pale skin and saw the blood bubble up and roll down my arm. I made a few more cuts before I heard sobbing behind me. I turned around to see Gee crying into his hands.

“Why Frankie? Why couldn’t you have found me? I could have helped you again! Why did you have to hurt yourself again? And you got drunk! Frank why didn't you find me?” He sobbed out. I looked at him shaking, his face still in his hands.

“I don’t know Gee, I needed to, I I don’t know” I fell to the floor clutching my arm to my chest, getting blood on my shirt. We stayed there for awhile, crying. After a while Gee stopped crying and finally looked at me and my bloody mess.

“Oh Frankie, I’m sorry, I know relapses happen, I just…”

“I know Gee, I should have told you that I wanted to hurt myself again, it’s okay now.”

“Oh Frank it’ll never be okay, but for now I want you to wash up and then we well, we’ll just relax I guess and you can tell me everything that's wrong. Okay?” I nodded. Slowly I got up and washed the cuts that I had made and shuffled into my room holding a towel to my arm. I changed out of my clothes and laid on my bed.

“Okay Frankie, what happened?” Gee said soothingly.

“Everything Gee! I get beaten up for no fucking reason! I get called all these names and just told I’m worthless, no one at that hell hole cares that I tortured! The teachers let it happen! They see me being kicked til I can’t breath and turn the other way. No one cares about me Gee not even my own mother! I’m alone and the one person who I love and care for doesn't see it!” I practically screamed through the tears running down my face.

“Frankie you’re not alone, believe me you aren't, more people care about you then you realize. And you aren’t alone Frank I will always be here for you okay?” This only made me sadder and he saw that.

“Frankie, what did I say? Did I do something wrong?”

“I love you Gerard, I love you so much. I’ve been falling for you for so long. I need you Gee. I love you.” I turned and studied his face to see what his reaction was. He frowned and then looked up at the ceiling trying to keep his tears from spilling down his face. When he looked back at me, his face was hard and emotionless.

“You can’t love me Frank, I’m not real, and I don’t love you.”

Notes

So that happened. Cliff hanger and all (ish). I think this story is going to end soon... buuuttt there's another ending I want to write to this story so ya! Yayy!

Sorry haven't updated more recently, had some sicknesses to get over then you know school so, fun times! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.