Pills don't help but it sure is funny

2 months later

____


It's been two months since I left Gerard and I have not seen him since. It was for the better I figured, I've been dating Ben on and off during these weeks. Our relationship has been weak, strong, forced and natural. It feels as if its has gone a year but it's only december, I've had my birthday and christmas being right around the corner. Which I actually looked kind of forward to for once, I am spending it together with Ben's friends.

I normally don't like christmas because the whole thing seems kind of forced. I never get in the holiday spirit as a child With my parents working so much. I felt kind of a shame for not as excited as Ben, but I just couldn't fake it.

"Fraaankie" Ben says licking his lips, "Yeah Mr. Bruce" I say sarcastic.
"Why won't you put on a dress for the holiday party tomorrow, the guys would really like that y'know" he says laughing.

"For fucks sake Ben, it's not like everyone there is gay or bi" I say obviously joking.
"guys is a gender nuetral term mr stiffy pants"
"I'm not following with these nicknames" I turn around cleaning up the couch. The light hit me and I feel a cold breeze.

I don't like the way New Jersey feels at Winter, it gets way too chilly for my taste, but Ben loves it. He keeps all the Windows open, even though I have caught an obvious cold because of it. "Honey stop acting like a maid unless you're gonna dress up like one" Ben jokes. "Extremely sexually frustered aren't we?" I roll my eyes. I'm not really able to have sex after what has happened before, I know it bothers Ben but of course he respects it. It's just been a lot of extremely sexual conversations and jokes, but I just sweep it under the rug, he's a perv and pervs will be pervs so why shame him.

"You're acting like a pervert why don't you dress like one?" I ask, pushing a pillow to the side. "Already dress like one, baby" Ben says pulling my waist close to his. "Don't this make you want me even more." He rubbed his fingers down my hips and squeezed his hard on against my butt. I let out a soft moan, I have to admit it did make me feel horny.

He led my mouth to his and kissed me hard and long, making me feel dizzy and steamed. "B..Ben.. oh fuck" I moan, "Yeah baby" he says sliding his hands Down to my crotch. "I'm... I'm not ready" I whisper. His hands touch my hard on, "well this seems ready" he says breathing Heavy, "B-Ben.. please" I sigh. Ben lets og and smiles at me, "well we can Catch up another time" he says with a smile.

It feels freeing, Ben left and went into the bedroom, I didn't have to worry while living with Ben, Ben knew the concept of consent. Whenever I walk the halls I get flashbacks about what happened and whenever that happens, Ben will hold me. Tell me I'm okey, I think Ben understands better than me what I went through. I don't know a lot about Ben just yet, I hope I get to know him better when I meet his friends. Heck, I don't even know who his friends are, I know about Danny and that's about it. I have seen him together with younger people but I don't think they are invited.

I hope I'm not forced to drink any alcohol, I don't really feel comfortable around that kind of stuff, but of course I won't judge his friends before I know.

"So do you have anything to wear for the party tomorrow Frankie" Ben asks interrupting my thoughts. "I bought some stuff, I just can't really wear the old clothes because.. You know.. Bob had them.." I whisper, Ben gets over and rubs his fingers through my hair.

"Stop being so emo" he jokes. "Shuuut uuup..." I mumble feeling a bit of shame. "Don't wear anything too punk rock though, this dudes girlfriend will be there and ÿeah he doesn't want her to see us as savages" Ben says. "Yes aren't punks just savages" I joke, "no bu.."

"Yeah Yeah it's a plain black and white tux, it was really inexpensive too" I interupt him. "Good boy" Ben says while he grabs my chin and kisses me softly. "You're such a pretty boy"

"shut up you gremlin" I whisper, "Yeah Yeah."


____



We both stand in front of the Mirror getting eachother ready for the Christmas party, earlier that day Ben cut my hair just so that I don't look too ragged so I actually think I look kind of attractive for once. It feels nice and New, I don't feel dirty and worthless for once.

"You look like such a handsome little boy" Ben smirks,
"you look like a drug addict who bought a suit at goodwill" I joke, Ben fake cries.

"Noo I'm joking honey you're very handsome" I say hugging him,
he giggles and pats my head.

"Oh so flattering for a Sixth grader," Ben giggles. "Wow that's low" I say turning around, "I'm only joking you look older than ever" I turn around faking a frown.
"Let me turn that frown upside down little boy" he says leaning in to kiss my lips. I freeze up a second and pull him away and sneeze loudly. "Aw are you sick?" Ben ask,

"y..Yeah I Guess" I say still recovering from the shock. "Well we don't have to.." Ben says smiling, "of course we have to!" I yell, Ben giggle, "I knew it."

"Come on the cabs here," Ben says moving his hands to the door, I put my phone out of the charger and into my Pocket. I forgot to charge it earlier so it was only at 10%. I walk towards to the door and head out for the elevator.
Ben was checking me out in the elevator mirror softly licking his lips, "you have never looked hotter Frank" he says. I smile and shrug, I have to admit I look better than I have in years, at least since I was about 15.

"Well thats all thanks to you" well Ben looks a lot hotter than me, his suit was tailored and a navy colour. His hair was messy and he still had his double lip rings in but he still manages to look a lot neater than me. We both step out of the elevator at the same time and the taxi driver lifts his eyebrow. We both get into the back seat and the taxi driver doesn't say a word. "Are you guys related" he say after a long pause, "no.." I whisper. The driver shrugs and start driving. The cab driver has a bald head and sunglasses, he was dressed in an all black suit and looks more like a secret agent than a driver.

It is an awkward silence during the whole trip. When we finally arrive we both take a hard breath, but the cab driver didn't let us get out. He rolls down his window and there stands a man. He had wild Brown curly hair kind of like an afro but longer, he has kind of tan skin and sunglasses. "...Yeah I know I'm.. hush Yeah, Yeah its me... Ray.." that's all we hear. Mumbling,

I see that Ben is starting to feel very uncomfortable and I grab his hand stroking it lightly. "Well that'll be.. about 9 dollars" the cab man says, Ben just throws 20 dollars at him and whispers "keep the rest.." He gets out as quickly as possibly.
I get out taking a bit of a longer time, I look around and see the man who stood by the window right in front of me. "I'm sorry, we have no time.. Follow me" he says grabbing my arm and pulling me away before I get to say a word.

I get pulled into the forest, "B...BE.." He covers my mouth, "shh" he whispers

Notes

Oiiioi