I'll never let them hurt you, I promise

Frank's POV~~

Gerard started acting strangely distant after he took a brake from the movie to go have a smoke. my mind instantly wondered to why he didn't ask me to come outside with him however I left the question alone the atmosphere already felt some what awkward.
After he sat back down I tried multiple times to kiss and cuddle him however every time he would tense and move away as if my touch was new to him, as if it was different as if It was unpleasant. I felt my heart sink at the thought and soon I left him alone.
Somehow I mange to survive an extra 20 minutes within the awkwardness Gerard brought with him from outside but I soon proposed we leave and just go home. He had no trouble with that idea in fact he practically jumped out his seat and ran out of the cinema. to think I was the one who didn't really want to come in the first place.
I soon caught up to him and we started to walk through the car park however he always seemed to be on step ahead on me, always out of reach. i reached out my hand to intertwined our fingers but he quickly pulled his away before tightly pushing his hand into his pocket.
Once inside the car, the small space was quickly filled with thick tension, the air felt as if I could cut it with a knife. my heart started beating fast and hard as I felt anxiety build within myself. I quickly turned my head to face Gerard as he drove "drop me off at our house" the words were rushed and hardly audible but my brain started telling me that if I left Gerard alone something bad would happen. I could just get out at his house, watch him get home safely then walk the rest of the way home. something was off about Gerard and I knew my heart wouldn't settle unless I was certain he was safe.
"Frankie, I can drive you home" the most words he had spoken in a hour
"please Gerard, id rather just walk from yours"
he didn't argue, which in one sense was good I didn't want to argue but the fact that he became quite and just excepted the fact scared me. what had got into him, what had made him so timid so quite. The thoughts ran so fast throughout my mind I couldn't get a hold of a single one to think about anything clearly.
he pulled up outside his house and broke the silence "Frankie, really I can drive you"
"its fine Gerard" I whispered "I want to walk"
once outside the car I hugged him gently and reached up onto my tip toes to kiss his forehead but quickly slumped back down onto the balls of my feet once he tensed. The disappointment clearly spread across my face as I watched him walk through the front door, turning to look at me before shutting it. I whispered a small "I love you" before he shut the door probably not even noticing it.

~Now~~
walking down the cold wet streets of jersey is more frightening then I anticipated, with the sun no longer in the sky and only the moon light to glow down on the dimly light streets every road, path and alleyway looks every scarier, more dangerous.
I quickly stuff my hands into my jacket pocket as I hurriedly head home trying to avoid as much of the cold wind as I can. Walking past all the closed shops throughout town, stepping on all the brown crunchy leaves as the seasons change. i keep my head hung low, only keeping an eye on about 3 foot in front of me causing me to jump out of my skin once a low chilled voice echo's in my ears.
"Frankie isn't waking out here on your own dangerous" my head quickly shoots up in fear although I have my suspicions, who else would be out on such a cold night at this time apart from me, and josh of course.
"don't scare me like that josh" I whisper keeping my eyes on the floor and pulling my hood up further, covering my ears from the harsh breeze.
"im sorry Frankie" he whispers back as be begins to walk besides me, silence falls around us for a few minutes as I watch the air slowly leaving my mouth as I breath, making an almost smoke like effect as the warm air collides with the cool. Until a small gasp which leaves Josh's mouth scares me from my thoughts.
"look, the park" he says his volume of voice a fragment higher as happiness and excitement is shown through his voice. I glance over at the abandoned park we're walking by, to me it normally symbolises that im almost home but as I look at it under the nights sky I notice how it look spooky and haunted almost demonic. the sight is unpleasant however strangely attractive, the swing set rocks gently on its own under the persuasion of the wind letting its chins clatter against each other creating a spine tingling noise. Also the round-a-bout and the see-saw move on their own as if someone invisible to my eyes are playing on them as normal children would only slower. I quickly look back down at the cracks on the pavement and speed up my movements wanting to get home and far away from the creepy looking park, its honestly starting to scare the shit out of me.
"wait" I hear josh's voice behind me as he hurries to catch up to my new paste of walking
"don't you remember the park Frankie" his voice back to the whispering tone
"we had so much fun in that park as children" I ignore him not wanting to dive into the memories I've tried so hard to forget, wipe out of my mind.
However he wont leave it and before we've even reached my house he's nudging me with his shoulder asking if I remember
"LEAVE ME ALONE JOSH" he words leave my mouth hurried and loud, showing my sudden anger and frustration
"stop" I say straight afterwards as I notice the shocked expression on his face "im not in the mood to talk tonight" I say letting my voice become calm again, returning to a quite tone.

Dipping my hand into my pocket I pull out my pack of cigarettes and my lighter, I shake it lightly for a moment realising its almost empty before pushing the cancer stick between my lips and cupping one hand around the orange flame to light the opposite end. i let the toxic fill my lungs loving the way it slightly burns my throat.
"this is about lover boy isn't it?" josh suddenly asks
I grunt in response feeling to weak, to effortless to start an argument with him and continue to smoke instead feeling the calming effect it has on me.
"he's hiding something from you, you know" the whispered voice sounds so certain so confident.
"what do you mean" I ask lifting head slightly and using one hand to remove my fringe from my eyes letting me finally get a look at josh under the moons light. My hood slowly falls down and off my head as I continue to look at josh questioningly.
he looks back at me with a knowing look in his eyes and i cant help but to get lost in the deep blue whirl pool they posses.
"we both know it" the words drip from his lips slowly and so quite its almost inaudible, I move closer to him to signal I cannot hear but want to.
our eyes still intensely locked together.
We've stopped walking, just stopped in our tracks and I know I must look crazy stood in the middle of the foot path staring into the night and talking to myself but im too wrapped up in the conversation to care a whole much.
"i was right about him last time Frankie" he whispers the warm air from his mouth hitting my cool chapped lips make me realise how close we now are.
"im sure im right this time"
"what?" I ask again totally confused by the whole conversation. "Gerard wouldn't keep a secrete from me, not now we're too involved, not ever in fact" I say instantly realising that my heart wants to believe what is leaving my mouth is true but my brain suddenly realises it probably isn't.
the night re caps within my memories and I realises how strangely Gerard was in fact acting, maybe he does have a secrete he's keeping, my heart hurts just at the thought.
"i know you don't believe that Frankie" he whispers and I realise my eyes have drifted down to the floor again looking at my old tattered converse im wearing on my feet. my head bowed in the realisation that the person I love is lying to my about something.
I lift my head again as josh bens to speak and we've moved closer to each other, our noses are practically touching, his skin is ice cold but in the moment it doesn't seem to matter.
"i see it in your eyes" the eye contact is back, my heart flutters the connection its still their.
"the doubt, the dis believe the lack of trust" every word from his mouth is so true so convincingly true. his eyes are almost brainwashing to me, they make me forget everything the beauty within them, the innocent the love the lust as I look at him.
"its ok Frankie" his head tilts the slightest amount as his pupils dilate and im too caught up in the blue green swirls of colour to understand what's happening when I feel a cold weight on my lips.
It's wrong, its so wrong but it feels so right so loving so gently but also so needy so wantful. I kiss back gently pressing back into the pressure letting my lips move In time with his as my hand slowly comes up to cup his cheek. his skin feels slippy and wet like ice and it makes me realise how warm my skin is as I hold him their for a minute letting him kiss me, letting us have this moment one more time before I pull away and stair into them eyes. the eyes I spent so much time pleading to help me, to give me a reason to survive. them eyes were once everything to me but in this moment as the words "im sorry josh" leave my lips I realise it is not blue eyes I am in love with anymore, they are an old love and un speakable one
a dead one.
I turn and walk away my finger coming up to touch my slightly wet slips as I realises im no longer in love with my dead ex boyfriend.
I love another greasy haired nerd.

Notes

finally. im so so so so sorry I didn't update but come on no-one really thought id be reliable did they.
anyway this story is back I think I have a good direction to take this.
comment, rate subscribe if you want me to carry on.
THIS HAS NOT BEEN UPLOADING. IT BETTER WORK THIS TIME!