I let out a sigh.
I don’t even know what the worst thing about being here is. Is it being stuck here like forever because I set my school on fire in the fourth grade or everyone here including the teachers hating me for probably liking other boys? ...Well, I do, a lot in fact, but I haven't admitted it to anyone though they still seem to know.
I really don’t know what to do anymore, everyday is just the same. I may go downstairs to eat something, I may sleep all day cause I’ve been up the last night just crying, I may play my guitar for a while, I may cut myself, I may try to kill myself.
There hasn't even been any new kids to fuck with for a long time, so i'm getting very fucking bored.
Nobody even bothers to try to get me practice or to wake up early or to do anything anymore. They all know I hate being here and that I’m not interested to do almost anything.
I thought they would throw me into jail after all I've done, but they said that I'm too powerful and that they don't want to waste it. So I'm here 'cause they still think they can change me and 'cause I'm too dangerous to live with normal people or to go to jail.

Maybe I should try to kill myself again.

I’d do it locked in the bathroom so maybe I’d really die this time, I think my life has already been too long. I just need to assure that nobody could get there in 24 hours and then the Bringers (witches and wizards with the ability to bring people back to life) can't save me again. Not this time.

I get up from my bed and walk to my guitar; I pick it up and walk to my little couch with it. My guitar is very beautiful; it’s an electric guitar that was all white before I started to draw things on it. Now it’s covered in band logos, lyrics and just random drawings. I got it for Christmas when I was nine; everything was so different back then.

I was a very happy little boy. I always thought I would have a bright future with a loving husband and I would be a famous guitarist when I grow up. I never thought I would get stuck in a place like this. I can’t even remember the last time I could describe my feelings with the word ‘happy’.

So I've been very sad; it started when I came here a long time ago. My mom said I couldn’t stay at home after I set my school on fire. She also said that she had known I’ve got these powers since I was three years old, and she knew I would have to move away someday.

The day I came here, everyone stared at me like I was the most pathetic thing ever. Everyone acted too nicely around me, that’s why I prefer to just be alone. Everyone here just seems to be overly nice, too polite, and it makes me sick. In every nice word they said, I could almost hear the way they talk about me behind the teachers' backs, though the teachers aren't much of saints themselves either.
After a few months of loneliness and avoidance by the other students, someone started to spread a rumor that I like boys and everyone started to hate and avoid me even more if that's possible.
After all, I've got my revenge but I never got fully accepted and I got used to being alone.
So here I am now; trying to kill myself almost every month if I'm not killing anyone else.

I play little parts of some of my favorite songs with the guitar. I really think I’m good at playing guitar, but people here doesn't care much about abilities like that. So I’ve kind of wasted my time by practicing guitar because I’ll never get out of here anyway. I have no future, at least not the future I want.
I kiss my guitar and get up.
I leave my guitar to its stand and pick the sharpest blades I have from under my pillow.

I assure no-one gets in without some serious force by casting the strongest door-locking spell I can do, then walk into my bathroom. I make sure the door of my bathroom is locked too and pick the blades from my pocket.
I pull my sleeves up and take a look at my arms that are covered in several cuts, I’ve tried this so many times.
I cut all around my arms for a while before going for the wrists, hoping that I wouldn’t wake up this time.

- - - - -

“What do you mean I need to move into a coven in New Jersey?” I’m so confused.
“It’s for the best Gerard, you seem to be one of the few people that have these powers and you must move there to learn to control your powers” mom says in a serious tone.
“But what if I really don’t want to? I can try to not use them anymore”
“It’s in the law that everyone that seems to have those supernatural powers must move there, and you'll meet people with similar powers and get friends” mom says in a supporting tone. I know that my mom is right, but I would miss my family so much.
“But I want to stay here with you, dad and Mikey, I really don’t want to go”
“I know honey. We will miss you very much. But what if it happens again? I don’t want you to scare more people with bringing dead animals back to life and burning things randomly and getting invisible and tease people, I know you understand why I want you to go” mom tries to be serious, but remembering what I’ve done makes us both chuckle a bit.
“Yes I do understand, but it was all so much fun and I know you agree. I know I would have to go there someday in future anyway so maybe I really should go now” my mom smiles “But only if I’ll get to see my family at least few times a year” I add. Maybe it will really be fun.
“Of course you will, the people there told me they has those days when everyone gets to spend three nights at home, two times a year” my mom told me smiling.
“Okay, good. When will the next train come?”
“The day after tomorrow if you want to go by that, the train leaves at ten in the morning. I’ll drive you to the railway station. You must pack tomorrow if you’re going”
“I will have to wake up very early, but yes, I’ll leave then” I say sadly, but smiling.

I will miss everyone so much, but I want to learn more things about magic and learn to control my powers. I feel a bit excited now; maybe I could really make some friends there.
I don’t have many friends, but I kind of like to be alone. I had a very good friend once, his name was Ray.

Ray was that kind of kid that everyone loved, he had that fro that everyone remembered and he was amazing at playing guitar. But for me, he was my best friend. We had so much fun together; we had sleepovers almost every weekend, he sometimes unsuccessfully tried to teach me how to play guitar, he drew with me and always told me how jealous he was because I was so much better, we spent so much time together. Then one day he told me their family has to move to another city, very far from here, and they moved. I miss him so much. I hope I could see him again someday.

Notes

please leave a comment and tell me if I should continue this c:
and btw this is my first story ever so don't be too mean with the comments :'D
I've already written the second chapter but I will post it only if i know that someone will read it :D