He's Not Dead He Only Looks That Way

Gerard knows that he can’t just hide their relationship forever. At the same time, he doesn’t want Frank’s dad to give him hell just for being who he is.
He strings his hands in his hair, contemplating the situation. Either way he’s screwed. Hiding relationships almost always winds up in a breakup, but so would having Frank’s dad beat the shit out of him.
He’s troubled for the next day at school; he hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before. Actually, he never does, but last night, he got even less.
Frank can tell something’s bothering his boyfriend, and he considers for a moment if he should even bother to ask what. Of course he’d like to know, but he just doubts that he’ll be able to get a straight answer out of Gerard, who’s currently gazing out at nothing.
“Gerard?” Frank asks.
Gerard doesn’t answer, just holds his stare.
“Um, do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?” Frank questions.
Gerard stays, not blinking at all.
Frank places a hand on Gerard’s shoulder, and the older boy jumps about a foot. His eyes flash over to meet Frank’s, asking,
“What, what is it?”
“You okay?” Frank chuckles. “You’re acting really weird.”
“Well…” Gerard murmurs, picking at his nails distractedly. “I just… I don’t want to hide us… anymore.”
“Hide us?” Frank repeats.
“You know, kind of completely omit the vital fact that we’re dating to everyone,” Gerard mumbles.
“What?”
Gerard sighs, telling louder, “I don’t like being hidden, Frank. I wish… I wish you could just be proud of us.”
“Of course I am,” Frank responds.
“Then why won’t you act like it?”
Frank runs a hand through his locks, gripping the ends of his hair. “I just…. I really don’t feel like getting chewed out by my dad, alright? I mean, he fucking was brutal last time, and I was little.” His eyes shift form Gerard to the floor as he continues softly, “I can only imagine what he’d do to me now.”
Gerard is silent, and then, offers, “Do you want me to tell him?”
Frank knits his brows, positive that he misheard Gerard. “What?”
“I can tell your dad you’re gay, and then tell him you’re dating me,” Gerard reiterates. “That way, he’ll take it out on me, not you.”
“No, no…” Frank hesitates. “I don’t want to put you through that.”
Gerard frowns, reasoning, “Then just what are we supposed to do? Word will get out anyways. It’s a small town, Frank.”
“I know,” Frank grumbles. He buries his head into his hands, and Gerard assumes that’s the end of the conversation.
“Why don’t we both tell him?” Frank suggests quietly. “That way, it’s two against one. And, I guess that’d be most fair.”
Gerard laces his fingers with Frank, squeezing his hand. “Is after school today alright?”
Frank nods, adding, “And I’ll make sure my mom’s there, too, just in case my dad gets out of control.”
“He won’t, will he?” Gerard worries.
Frank shakes his head. “Not with my mom there, no.”
Gerard’s still feeling anxious throughout the rest of the day, despite the fact that Frank had assured that his father doesn’t have the balls to do hardly anything with his mother in the room.
Gerard drives them over, and he remembers how the first time he’d been at Frank’s house, it had a nice, homey feel to it. It was a safe place, a haven, if you will. But now, as they walk up the porch steps, Frank’s hand casually in Gerard’s back pocket, it gives off a portentous vibe that unsettles Gerard.
Frank brings his hand back to his own pocket, opening the door with the other. “Hello?”
“Frank!” Frank’s mother coos. She rushes over, wiping her hands off on her apron before hugging her son. She hugs Gerard, too, who just sort of blushes and pats her back.
“Come into the kitchen; I’m sure your father would love to meet Gerard,” Frank’s mom gushes.
Gerard’s eyes widen, and he glances over to Frank for support, to see the boy already looking at him, his huge amber eyes having a calming effect on him.
Gerard takes a deep breath and follows Frank’s mom into the kitchen, where his dad is sat.
His dad seems like the All American father that ‘loves his family’’ but can hardly keep their birthdays straight. Gerard can conclude from his pressed button up and tie that he’s a pencil pusher, and for a split second, Gerard can see why he apparently hates everything.
He’s got dark hair like Frank, but when he gazes up from his newspaper, Gerard can see that he has blue eyes instead of Frank’s golden brown.
“Dad, this is Gerard,” Frank introduces.
“Hmm, Gerard, eh?” Frank’s dad asks, folding his Sports section.
“Yep,” Gerard answers, nodding slightly.
“You do any sports, Gerard?” Frank’s father questions. He’s trying to make small talk at one of the few things he knows, but it comes off as more of a demand than a curiosity.
Gerard shakes his head, replying, “I do art, vocal and theatre, though.”
Frank’s dad does a bad job of suppressing a condescending snort. Frank’s mother shoots him a death glare, and she pats Gerard’s shoulder, complimenting,
“I always think it’s nice for boys to explore whatever interests they want. I wish Frankie were into theatre.”
Frank’s dad can’t hold his tongue for that comment, and he protests, “Frank being in art is bad enough, now you want him to do theatre?”
“What’s wrong with theatre, Dad?” Frank challenges calmly.
“It’s for girls,” Mr. Iero mutters. “I’ll have no son of mine being a fine arts faggot.”
Gerard’s fists clench, and he squeezes them until his knuckles go white, mostly to keep him from punching the old man on the spot.
“Oh, you don’t mean that,” Frank’s mother scolds.
Frank’s dad actually puts down his newspaper to shoot a glare at his wife, telling lowly, “I do mean that.”
“Well, guess what,” Frank begins shakily. “I’m gay, Dad.”
Frank’s dad stands, demanding, “What did you say?”
“You heard me,” Frank retorts, his voice small.
“Frank… go to your room,” Mr. Iero tells coldly.
Frank’s mother goes to his father’s side, advising in a low voice, “Honey, don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh?”
“Go to your room,” his father repeats.
Frank doesn’t move, but stands there in awe.
“NOW!” Mr. Iero roars, sending Frank fleeing up the steps.
Gerard stands there uncomfortably, and goes to follow Frank, only to be yelled at by Frank’s father, who shouts,
“You think I’m stupid enough to leave you two fags together? Stay away from my son!”
Gerard stumbles out the door, and is soon met by Frank’s mother, who hugs Gerard, whispering, “I’m so sorry about everything, sweetie. I’ll see if I can talk him down. Why don’t you just go home for now? You’ll see Frank at school tomorrow.”
Gerard’s devastated. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, and he wants to tell her that, because she’s the ultimate mom, which means she can fix it, right?
But all that comes out is, “Okay.”

Notes

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