GERARD'S P.O.V

I was fiddling once again with the box of menthols currently in my possession. I let out a short sigh when I finally had one's toxins filling my lungs as I walked around to the back of my house. I bounded up the several steps and pulled the door into myself, flying through the threshold and letting the screen slam behind me.

I was met with a dark house aside from the TV's flickering images casting long shadowy lights across the living room. I walked in quietly to see Mikey sprawled out over the couch, his mouth open from snoring as he slept soundly.

Smiling lightly to myself I inched closer quietly, sure not to wake him as I took the blanket from the back of the sofa, draping it over his body gently. When he didn't stir I turned around and walked up the stairs quickly.

Mom's door was closed, telling me she was also asleep as I strode to the end off the hall where the last door on the right held another set of stairs, leading up to the attic; a.k.a, my bedroom.

I was never particularly liked by my father when he started getting bad because I would defend Mom and Mikey. And he of course didn't like that. So one night after he stumbled though the door wasted, he tried hitting Mom. Well I was tired of just standing by and I threw myself between his fist and my mom's body. Well, when he got a satisfying amount of blows delivered to the both of us, the bastard went back to my room and destroyed nearly everything in it. Then he made me clean it all up and clear out my room before banishing me to the attic.

I actually didn't mind it all that much now. Neither Dad or Mom ever came up here so I got a hold of some black paint and painted the wooden walls. They told me I couldn't do it with my old room because it only had one very small window and they didn't want it looking like a cave.

Well that's exactly how my new room looks now, seeing as I only have two small skylights on either side of the peek. I have band posters and signed tees littering the walls along with most of my decent drawings.

In the corner was my bed which had an American flag duvet (comforter) with a large black spider printed in the middle.

My cluttered desk was next to that and my dresser was near the door.

With a sigh I dropped myself down onto my bed, pulling my laptop off of my nightstand and onto my lap. I started it up and open GarageBand program, pulling up my most recent work.

I was in the middle of composing the instrumental to a song I had written. It's called I'm Not Okay and I had the lyrics recorded and layered and everything that needed to be done with that mess and now I was putting together the typical instrumentals you'd find in a rock band; two guitars, a bass, and kick ass drums.

Right as I was getting to the middle of the song I felt my phone start vibrating next to my leg. I picked it up and saw an unknown number flash across the screen.

Sliding the lock screen to the right I let the alert lead me to my text messages where I saw a little green chat bubble saying "Hey Gee, it's Scarrlett."

All I could do was grin to myself as I quickly typed up a reply.

"Hey you. How's it goin?"

Typing...

"Okay. Wbu?"

"Everything here is fine and dandy."

Typing...

"lol cool, whatcha doin?"

"Not much, just working on a song."

Typing...

"Really now? How?"

"On Garage Band on Macbook."

"Ohhhhhhh. Kay." Scarrlett replied. We messaged back and forth for what seemed like hours, and in reality, it was hours.

I finally glanced up at the time on the top of my screen. I looked down in shock; it was nearly 2:30 in the morning, but really it only felt like we had been texting for a few minutes.

"Hey, I hate to break up this little party, but I'm about to fall asleep." she finally sent. I smiled to myself and replied.

"Alright, goodnight."

Typing...

"Ni-night." And with that last message, I switched my phone off and woke my computer back up.

Reaching to the end of my bed I grabbed my headphones. Plugging them in and slipping them on I listened to what I had arranged so far and, in all honesty, I was really proud of it. And frankly, that pride kind of took over and I continued my work until it was even later in the early morning and I was finished, looking my form my screen with squinted eyes and a stiff neck.

I played it back one last time, smiling at how professional it sounded when it was finished. I mouthed along to my own lyrics.

Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say
I never want to let you down or have you go it's better off this way
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
I've told you time and time again you singe the words but don't know what it means
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook.
I held you close as we both shook, for the last time, take a good hard look!

I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

Forget about the dirty looks,
The photographs your boyfriend took.
You said you'd read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed and-

I'm okay, I'm okay! I'm okay now...

But you really need to listen to me because I'm telling you the truth, I mean this ever so much, I'm Okay! (Trust me!)

I'm not okay, I'm not okay, well I'm not okay. I'm not o-fuckin'-kay! I'm not okay, I'm not okay!...(okay)

With a small smile still spread across my lips I saved the file and closed out of the program before opening up Google Chrome and going to Tumblr...because who doesn't like a little bit of dashboard-scrolling at 4-in-the-mother-fucking-morning?

When I scrolled passed the same picture of a Starbucks' coffee I logged off and closed my computer, setting on my nightstand and wiggling my way under my covers.

I fell asleep thinking about a lot of things - my growing feelings about Scarrlett and how abso-fucking-lutely stunning she is. With her short white hair, and her light blue eyes. How short she was compared to me and the was she blushed when she was embarrassed or shy. Fuck she was just all around adorable!

Then my thoughts drifted to the fact that I would never see my father again. Sure he was a mother fucking bastard that deserved to die in hell, but he was also still my dad and he was the best one I could ask for up until I was 15. I love my dad, or what he used to be. But he's gone, so there won;t be any more pain and we are all safe....I hope.

Notes

I BET YOU ALL SANG I'M NOT OKAY INSTEAD OF READING IT! XD

anyway sorry this is a lame chapter and sorry I took so long to update this story. I was gonna do it last night but I do eaten by the tired monster and everything I wrote was utter shit...so yeah!