you are another me

"Hey you doing okay?" Frank whispers rubbing my thigh
"How come you always assume somethings wrong" I spit out
"I cant ask if youre okay?" He retrieves his hand from my thigh
"Just .. nevermind"
Frank eyes never leave my body.
"What are you .. looking at"
Im not a morning person lets just say that. I also usually feel very insecure 'about everything but of course no one thinks about that anymore.
"Remember what i told you last night?" He asks moving closer to me on the bed
Oh yeah, 'stop worrying'
Well try living by yourself, losing everyone closest to you. living paranoid.
I nod my head moving even closer to him because all i want right now is him pressed against me, feeling his warmth.

We were so close to kissing until he just had to speak
"Dont worry about anything"
I lose my shit a lot i know.
"Well fuck. I lost everything Frank. I-I lost everyone. How am i not supposed to worry when my life's wreck?!" I whine
The 16 year old sighs and touches my shoulder
"You still have me, I love you Gerard"

G:"That line right there should not be tossed around"

F:"but ..dont you love me?"

G:"Of course i do but we're just hurting each other or youre hurting yourself. Im here to prevent you from hurting and me saying ' iloveyou' is a bad choice"

F:"But i feel safe when you say it"

G"Somethings gonna happen Frank and your going to wish you never met me"

_______


"Youre so bipolar" Frank mutters beside me
"sorry" I mutter back
"like you gotta stop being so negative" He goes on
"sorry" i answer quietly
"i hate it when youre just always so ..sad" he almost sounded annoyed
Im annoying him with my sadness. Im probably the one whos bringing him down.
I felt the sharp stinging in my eyes and thats when i realized i was indeed crying slightly.
"s-sorry" I croaked out trying to hide the fact that tears were rolling down my face each second
Im so fucking weak. I thought i was stronger than this. Since when did i care so much? Oh right im only this weak around Frank thats it.

He didnt even notice me silently trying to stop the salt water coming from my eyes.
I got up from the bed and passed the kitchen, heading downstairs to my peace and quiet spot.
Youd think id just sob on the couch in front of the hanging loop but nah i had a supply closet that didnt contain many supplies. It was a fairly big space -besides a big chair in the middle- and i enjoyed it the least when i didnt think i could hide from the world. In this case, Frank appeared to be not liking my existence at the moment so for my sake and his, im gonna go cry in the closet like a 3rd grader that didnt get what he wanted. I shut the closet door and backed up until i hit the wall, It was dark. Like my eyes couldnt even adjust to it. Dark but soothing. Yet i cried harder. I went two years without crying and now look at me. Im so fucking stupid.

Before getting too comfortable i pushed the heavy chair in front of the door -it didnt have a lock so-
I crawled into the corner of the room and just sat there tears still flowing but i was silent.

Clearing my mind is so hard when its constantly thinking of him. Do you know whats making me so negative? My past. I just cant let it go. You know what im talking about. When people say to put the past behind you, its not as easy as it looks. But something is keeping you from letting go. Some stuff you cant forget. For example .. Mikey. I shouldnt keep bringing him up but i.. I cant live with my mistake. I cant just put that behind me no matter how hard i try ... That last look he gave me will never leave my head. He trusted me.

-two or three hours later-
I got awakened by the sound of his voice.
I must've fallen asleep while thinking. My knees were close to my chest and my head was down in them.
"Where the fu-i looked everywhere what the hell!!" Frank screamed
I flinched from the yell. I must've been in here a long time right? What has he been doing when i was in here -besides trying to find me of course-
"Geraaard??!" He yelled
I felt kinda bad. I hope he knows im still in the house.
Soon after i heard a loud .. very loud bang and then a sickening crunch.
Oh shit. What am i missing?!
"Fucking hell.. i dont know where you are but if you can hear me im sorry" His voice cracked
I sighed at the sudden worry in his voice. Maybe a bit too loud because right after i felt the room shake, I saw the door trying to be pried open.
"What am i even doing with myself" He sighed giving up on the door
I crawled to the chair pushing it out of the way so it wouldnt be such a struggle if he tried again. I was about to crawl back to my spot until i saw him sat in the door way. His dark hair hanging down covering his face, his eyes focused on the ground.
'Poor little angel' i thought
If he would just raise his head then he could see me. He didnt though.
He looked so lost.

I continued to stare until he raised his head and looked in my direction, meeting my eyes already staring at his perfect pale face. His eyes glimmered. I was emotionless.
"Gerard?" He gasped quietly crawling slowly towards me.
I kept my stare. Frank quickened the pace and before i knew it, he gripped my shirt and pulled me closer to him.
"I-I thought you left me" He cried into my neck. I put my arms around his small frame swaying left to right slightly to ease the pressure.
I felt Frank's grip tighten. Then more sobs came over him.
I kissed the top of his head.
"I love you" I whispered and the sobs came to a hault
Frank looked up at me still holding tightly to my shirt.
My face broke out into a forced half smile.
"Do you real-"
I Interrupted him by leaning down placing my lips onto his. I don't know how long its been since we kissed but hell, i sure missed those lips,
Frank complied quickly moving his lips against mine.

It was the first love filled kiss we had. Well i mean all our kisses were a sign of love but they got heated fast but not this one. He was so sensitive -so was i-
I felt liquid sink through my shirt. I opened my eyes in the kiss to look at Frank making sure he wasnt crying. His eyes were closed, no tears were found so what was going through my shirt?
"Frank" I whispered in between the sweet kiss.
"hm" he mumbled
Then i rememberd earlier when i heard the crunch.
I gasped causing the teenager to jump.
"What is it?" He asked breaking the kiss.
"let me see your hands hun"

Frank let go of my shirt and showed me them.
I couldnt believe what i was taking in.
His right hand knuckles were split open bleeding like crazy.
"Oh my god that mustve hurt"
Frank looked down at his hand
"I got frustrated cause i couldn't find you" He sighed
"I understand and im sorry for disappearing" I whispered taking off my shirt
The teens eyes widened taking in the sight of my chest
"What are you doing?" He asked
"How else am i going to bandage up your hand?" I said smiling while wrapping the clothing around his knuckles tightly.
I was done securing the wound and i was left with Frank shocked
"You look pretty without a shirt" He almost whined. Aw,
"Are you saying i dont when i do have a shirt on?"
"No im just saying you should keep your shirt off"
Yeah well that made sense, i decided not to argue instead i leaned forwards pecking Franks lips.

When i pulled away i slowly crept my hand underneath Frank's shirt tugging slightly.
"oh?" Frank smiled
"Its not fair that you get to see me without my shirt" I pouted
"Fair. enough." He said taking the shirt up over his head.
Tattoos. Tattoos everywhere.
I nearly moaned at the sight.
"Frank youre gorgeous"

"Coming from you" He blushed

Notes

I dont know
Comment yeah?