The Light Behind Your Eyes

I counted the deep dark red cuts on my right arm.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six.

Six cuts. I smiled to myself and put the razor back into it's metal case. I kept smiling. I smiled as I brushed my teeth. I smiled as I put on my pajamas. I smiled as I set my alarm and crawled into bed. And I smiled as I slept. Because the pain felt good.

I woke up to my head throbbing and wrist aching. I sighed. I knew I'd regret it. I always do. But in the moment it feels so good. It was the first day of Senior year. One more year of it all. Then maybe just maybe I can jump into the ocean. I trudged to the bathroom and took a quick shower. I put on black skinny jeans, a long sleeve Green Day shirt, my black hoodie. I tied my Doc Martens and entered the bathroom. I let my lavender hair down from it's bun letting it fall into waves. I applied heavy coats of eyeliner with winged tips and black smoky eye shadow. I studied my face. It was super pale with dark purple bags under my eyes. And red rings. I made sure everything was hidden.

I grabbed my bag and went downstairs, "Good morning Rain!" My older brother Pete greeted sipping his coffee with his best friend and band mate Patrick at the table. "Morning." I muttered. I always liked my name. Rain. The rain was my favorite. Because it's dark and it helped me fall asleep. "Hey Sunshine!" Patrick greeted. "Hey Pat." I said slumping down into the chair. "Breakfast?" I sat up straight. "Do you have your Sharpie?" Pete asked slowly. I shook my head. "I- I lost it last night." I said looking around with fear in my eyes. I felt a panic attack coming. "Okay, okay, Patrick!" Pete said with fear. "On it!" Patrick ran upstairs and came down a minute later. "Here." He handed me the red Sharpie.

I thanked him. "I'm going to be late." I said quietly. "Oh, okay. Have a good time Sunshine." "Sure." I muttered slamming the door. As I walked to my best friend Missy's house, I doodled all over my arm trying to cover last nights cuts. I rolled my sleeve back up and slid the marker into my pocket. I knocked on the door. Lindsey, her girlfriend answered, "Hey Hun! Missy his TAKING THE LONGEST TIME EVER!!!" She called to Missy. "Where are they?" I asked. "Oh!" She reached into her bag and pulled out my pack of cigarettes. I took one out and lit it before taking a drag. "Do you have your Sharpie?" Lindsey asked. I nodded and showed her the marker.

"Good. So, " Lindsey started taking a drag of her cancer stick. "I met this guy over the summer. His name is Frank. He has a friend named Gerard. I said that you needed a man, and he said Gerard would be perfect for you, this was after I explained your personality." I rolled my eyes, "I don't need anybody. I'm good on my own." She laughed, "He's depressed too! And he seems just like your type! He likes drawing, painting, comic books, making his own comic books, just everything you could ever love. Just give him a shot." I sighed, "If he's not hot, I'm out." She rolled her eyes as Missy gave me a hug and held Lindsey's hand as we walked.

We arrived at school and compared our schedules. We had most of the same classes except for art. I had art before lunch. Good. I would be in a good mood at lunchtime. "Well if it isn't the queers and emo." Rose Smith's voice rang out. We looked up. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, "What Rose?" "Ready for a new year of school?! I'm so excited! It's gonna be fuuun last year." She said cackling like a witch. She snapped her fingers and her boyfriend Craig came up. "Sup babe?" "Do you job." She growled. "With pleasure my love." He grabbed me by the collar and slammed against the locker. Then he flipped me over and threw me onto the hard concrete floor.

"HEY!!!!!!!" A teacher came out. "DETENTION BOTH OF YOU!!!!" he pointed to the couple. "Oh you're gonna get it emo." Craig sneered as they were taken away from the teacher. Missy helped me up. "Oh my poor baby! Are you okay?!" "Y- yeah I'm fine." "Hey." I voice said, "Are you okay?" I looked up to see a skinny, tall kid with white and black glasses and straight light brown hair. "Yeah perfectly fine. Who are you?" "Mikey, Mikey Way." I nodded. "This is my best friend Missy, and her girlfriend Lindsey." They waved. "Baby?" A girl's voice called. "Yes?" "Is everything okay? Oh my gosh! Your nose!" A girl with black hair told me. She had a nose ring and clutched onto Mikey.

I touched my nose. Blood fell onto my fingers. The girl took my arm and dragged me to the bathroom. "Wow, they are such pricks!" She exclaimed cleaning my nose. As she pressed the toilet paper to my nose, I started to cry. "Oh don't cry! It's okay." She pulled me into a tight hug. I tried to hug back but I couldn't. "I'm Alicia. Alicia Simmons, Mikey's girlfriend." "Rain, Rain Wentz." "Cool! So are you gonna be okay?" I nodded. She let me fix my makeup before taking me back to Lindsey and Missy. They hugged me when the bell rang.

The first few periods went by quickly when what I finally was looking forward to came around. Art. I walked through the door. "Okay, so you guys have assigned seats." Everyone groaned. At least I wouldn't have to sit in the back with no one all alone. "Gerard, Gerard Way?" "Here." A voice grumbled. "Okay, you sit here." He pointed across the room to a seat. "Rain, Rain Wentz?" "Here." I waved a bit. He smiled sweetly at me, "You will be sitting next to Gerard." I nodded. All of the desks were pressed together. And I couldn't help but wonder if this was the Gerard, Lindsey was talking about. And there was a Frank Iero in this class. Maybe this was them. The best friends.

As the teacher taught, I heard a 'Psst!' I snapped up from doodling in my notebook and turned to my right. "Not you," A kid with red blush stuff around his eyes, a lip and nose ring, hazel eyes, black hair with the sides shaved off and some red in there. "Him." He pointed to the Gerard kid. "Tap him." He whispered. This made me nervous. He was a very attractive guy. Like hot. He had black hair that went above his shoulders, hazel eyes and a pale pale face. But God he was hot. I tapped him lightly and he snapped up looking around. His eyes fell on me. "He wants you." I said shyly turning red and pointing to the Frank kid. He nodded and looked past me to the Frank kid.

I heard paper and then a note was on Gerard's desk. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Gerard reading. When he finished, he looked up and at me. I looked away and started to doodle. He smiled a bit and looked back down. He went back to drawing and I couldn't help but peek at the note. In black pen, messy writing scribbled with a conversation between Gerard and Frank.

Frank: That's her. Rain Wentz is the girl I'm talking about. The one you guys have everything in common.

Gerard: Really?

Frank: Yeah do you think she's pretty? Would you date her?

Gerard: I don't think she's pretty, she's beautiful.

Notes

Sooo first chapter. Uuhhhh I had finished my Mikey story and this idea came up. So what do you think? thoughts anyone?

Xoxo,

Killjoy_Love19 :)