If Only You Knew What Went On In My Head

Wendy pulled out this big bag of chips and laid it over the table we were sitting at, raising her pinky finger up every time she ate one single crisp. It was sort of amusing though, and I watched her eat for a while. She had this wide gap between her teeth, making her look so childish as she ate. After a couple minutes, she gestured towards the bag. “Want one, bro?”

I eyed it suspiciously. “I hadn’t had chips in forever,” I stuck my cold hands into my fluffy jacket’s pockets. “I don’t really remember the taste.” I was freezing like a madman, so I pulled this scarf over my face. I even thought to myself that I might end up like an ice cube, and scientists will wonder if the ice age is starting all over again. But no, it’s just my friend’s goddam van.

Those blue eyes looked at me all sore-like. “Hey, you okay?”

“For some reason, my body heat is lousy and is making me freezing cold,” I mumbled through the scarf. I tasted the faux fur on my tongue. It tasted awful.
Wendy had this addictive laugh. “Silly, your feet are on top of the AC,” she got up from her seat and pressed a few white buttons in the front, opening this window flap to see what was going on.

While she was at it, I caught a glimpse of who she said was her older brother. He looked just like her, the same teeth, hair, and piercing eyes. I could hear them cracking small jokes at each other. They were complete duplicates. It was adorable as hell.

In a little while, heat started to flow through the place, and I decided to take off my jacket. I was going to leave my long, black sweater underneath because I wanted to. Plus, whenever I looked down, I would see a band logo plastered across the sweater. It’s the little things, like a band logo, that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Wendy sat back down and gasped. “Fuck, Gerard, you look scary.”

“You’ve never seen a guy wear black before?” I thought I wore black at school when I saw her. I’m almost positive I had some black jacket on at that time.

“Your bones are all…oh god, that looks terrible,” Wendy shielded her eyes a bit. A lot. “Why, Gerard..?”

Honesty is the best policy. “My parents are terrible, they buy me exotic crap and expect me to eat it,” I point at my ribs. “This is what happens when I decide that I don’t want to.”
“Why do they do that?” she asked, disgusted.

“They’re always bored, in the need of a game,” I shrug. “Boy, do they like playing games.”
Wendy pushed the chips to me. “Eat it. Eat it all.”

I just started to nibble at them. I wasn’t really hungry, believe it or not. Wendy was just making me look all guilty, so I started to take larger bites.

The girl just stared me down. I decided to strike a conversation, “So are you and your brother close?”

“Yeah,” Wendy was doing something under the table. Probably on her phone like most of the girls I’ve seen. She lifted her head for a moment and looked me in the eye with a blank expression. It was sort of cute, like the kind of cute you think of after watching a panda rolling over. Wendy smiled for a moment and I heard a click sound from underneath the table.

A few seconds passed, and as we looked eye to eye, music began to play. “Ya like it?”

The song was very familiar to me, and it made me rock my head back and forth in happiness. “It’s beautiful…”

“This boy in my old school in Cali played this for me before I left for Jersey,” she grinned. “He was my best friend, and we were so close. I want you to know who I am, and I want to know and understand you too.”

“You’ve only known me for a day, kiddo,” I stretched and smiled. “I bet we won’t even stay friends longer than a month. I’m hopeless.”

“Even if I’m not your friend by then, I’ll still bother you and get you a boyfriend,” Wendy laughed.

“Thanks,” I got up and plopped myself on the couch. “I guess it’s time we get sleeping?”

“Just dream of your new boyfriend…” she giggled.

“I’m not very imaginative; can you describe him for me?” I closed my eyes and released a breath. I heard a click of the lights.

“Generous, amazing, and love at first sight. That’s all you need, Gerard.”

“Goodnight, Wendy.”

“Goodnight.”

Notes

the song that they're listening to is Iris -- Goo Goo Dolls c: