There Were Parts Of Me That Loved You But They Ran Away Too Soon

I liked my solitude, but I liked being with Mikey. This was my dilemma that I went over in my head time and time again during the period in which Mikey was visiting his brother.
I eventually came to the conclusion that I liked and most definitely wanted my relationship with Mikey, but we'd take it slowly and not rush straight into it. Mikey would be fine with it, after all he was the one who had said it out loud this morning.
I was alone in Mikey's house until five o'clock when he returned from visiting his brother. I didn't feel awkward about being in his living space because I'd been living with him for over a month since he'd persuaded me to get the guts to leave him. I'd known Mikey for ages, since we were a lot younger in fact, and when he'd found me cowering in the corner of the bus station, too scared to go home for the night he'd immediately known something was wrong.
I hadn't told him the whole story but he'd worked out I was very unhappy within my relationship, he'd suggested that I stayed with him until I decided where to go. I'd just never left him.
We lived off the money which his parents provided him with as well as the small amount we earned ourselves from doing various jobs. We shared responsibility and took equal turns at the housework, all in all our life was pretty settled.
I was glad that Mikey had offered to take care of me, for as much as I dreaded being with my attacker, I also dreaded returning to my parents. They hadn’t approved of me being into guys, and had advised me to get out of my relationship as soon as possible because it wouldn’t end well. In a way they had been right, although it wasn’t because of my sexuality things had gone wild, it was for an unrelated reason. Had he been in a relationship with a girl, the girl would likely have been subjected to the same treatment that I had undergone. But I didn’t want to fight this out with my parents so when Mikey had taken me in I’d been more than grateful, my homophobic parents didn’t need to be any more involved now.
When my relationship had ended I'd been a mess, both inside and out. When Mikey had asked about my external injuries I had lied and said I'd been in an accident, he'd believed me. The internal pain was worse though. Even though he'd hurt me, I'd still loved my ex-boyfriend. He hadn’t been himself when he hurt me, he seemed a different person who didn't know what he was doing and I could see it in his eyes. He would become possessed by a fierce rage which he NEEDED to take out on someone immediately and sadly that someone was me, although when his anger had worn off he'd see what he'd done to me and cry. He'd try to comfort me and tend to my wounds, but the demon he had been earlier frightened me and I refused to let him near me. The next few hours would consist of him weeping and sobbing repeated apologies, although it broke my heart to see the one I loved in such pain I still could not go to him because I was haunted by whoever, or whatever, he had been earlier, eventually I'd sleep on the couch and cry myself to sleep, whilst he did the same in the bed.
When Mikey had asked me who my lover had been I'd just shake my head and choke back tears, I'd still loved him but I was terrified of him at the same time. I still wasn't fully over him, but I was in a better mental state than I had been for a long time, I had Mikey who I loved and who loved me back, who'd protect me if anything was to happen, who would listen to anything I had to say, who'd comfort me no matter the situation and who I would do any of those things for without question.
I wandered around aimlessly whilst I mulled things over in my mind, absentmindedly doing odd jobs that needed doing. I felt bad for Mikey, and his brother even though I'd never met him, I really hoped he was alright and that he'd get through whatever was affecting him, for both their sakes and my own partly.
I didn't want to have to live with Mikey being upset about his brother and feel completely helpless because as much as I'd try, I'd know that really there was nothing I could do.
Mikey eventually returned home and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, I flinched at the contact but smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek in return. We made some food together, laughing at our poor attempt at cooling and sat on the couch to eat it. We were very close, just touching but not cuddling or anything, but I liked it.
I felt safe and loved, also like I was wanted, I enjoyed it a lot more than I'd enjoyed anything in a while, other than the kiss in the early hours of the morning.
I couldn't keep my eyes of Mikey either, he looked gorgeous and I was so glad that I had him. Several times he caught me staring at him and smiled, I smiled back then quickly averted my eyes as I felt the blood begin to tint my cheeks.
After he caught me for like the twelfth time he giggled, making me look up and feel slightly embarrassed of my blush.
"Frank?" He asked softly, his eyes seemed massive in the dark.
"Yes?" I half stuttered back.
"Why do you keep staring at me? I don't look stupid like this or anything do I?" He asked, touching his face with a very mild look of concern.
My cheeks began to burn as more blood congregated there, "No, you're just the most beautiful person I've ever set eyes upon."
I quickly cast my eyes down, convinced my cheeks couldn't become any redder although his reply proved me wrong.
"Frank, honey, go look in the mirror."

Notes