There Were Parts Of Me That Loved You But They Ran Away Too Soon

When I felt Mikey’s lips pressed against my own the first thing I thought was "Shit."
I froze and tensed up, ready to defend myself if needed. However, this only lasted less than a fraction of a second because I felt something inside me stir. It was like a memory, fuzzy and warm, and it changed my thoughts about the situation completely.
I felt my lips move against his, deepening the kiss and then after a moment I dragged my tongue along his lower lip.
I was surprised at myself, I'd lived in fear of physical contact for a little while and now I was welcoming this, also I'd always loved Mikey. Only I thought it had been a friendly love, like I'd protect him and look out for him. But as my tongue entered his mouth and danced with his, I realised that it was more than that kind of love.
It was something that had been building up inside me ever since my last relationship had ended, something I had ignored because my fear of physical contact was stronger.
Something tugged at the back of my mind and suddenly I wasn't kissing Mikey anymore, it was someone else. It was him. It was a long way back before he'd changed, back when he'd been the sweet and caring guy I'd fallen for. The fuzzy feeling grew and I felt happier than I'd been in ages. I knew I'd never fully get over him, that I'd still have moments where I'd find myself thinking if him and longing for those first few nights. Although it was easier because of how he'd changed, I wasn't missing the same person who I'd left, plus my newly discovered love for Mikey was stronger than those other feelings.
Whilst I'd been experiencing these flashbacks and emotions my mouth had seemed to have a life of its own. It worked with Mikey’s and returned every little bit of pressure that he applied, ours tongues slid over each other and glided across the inside of the others lips. Mikey raised his other hand and put it into my hair, he caressed my cheek gently with the hand that was already positioned upon it as he gently tugged with the other. I moaned quietly and felt Mikey smile a little and giggle softly into the kiss, it was the cutest thing ever and my love for him seemed to swell. Eventually we broke off, our foreheads resting against the others and smiling as we stared into each other’s eyes.
“Please don’t hurt me Mikey… I’m trusting you.” It probably wasn’t the best thing I could have said but once the words had left my lips there was no taking them back.
He kissed my cheek before softly replying, I found that my fear and anger caused by the bad dream and fight had died and I felt super tired again. I reluctantly pulled myself away from Mikey and crawled into the bed. Mikey climbed in beside me and I tensed before realising that he wasn't going to hug me, he was only being close to me and I liked that.
I felt a smile spread across my face as I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep as the faint light of a summer dawn shone through a crack in the curtains and threw specks of light across the floor.
-
Hours later I woke feeling wide awake and turned over on my side, I saw Mikey lying curled up, still asleep and I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as it had done before I’d fallen asleep. I watched him for a bit, quite content admiring the way in which the sun shone off his golden hair, until he woke up.
"Frank?" He half yawned, rubbing at his eyes.
"Yeah?" I whispered, still smiling.
"If you wanna take this, well, slowly, because of your, you know," he gestured at the almost faded bruises and scars that covered most of my body.
I bit my lip and nodded, averting my eyes and staring at the floor. I was grateful that Mikey had thought about it and cared about how I felt.
"Thank you." I said, tentatively kissing his forehead, "I appreciate it, thank you."
Mikey reached out his hand and gently brushed mine, stroking my fingers, “I love you more than just about anything, Frank," he said, looking me in the eyes, "I wouldn't lose you for the world and I'll do anything to make you happy, I love you."
I stared back at his earnest face, and no matter what I did, I couldn't stop that smile spreading across my face for the second time that morning.

Notes