I See You Lying Next to Me

"I told you for the last time, I don't want to go to public school!" I shouted as my mother and I continued to argue. “You’re going weather you like it or not!” She yelled back in a stern voice. Ever since she had married my stepdad she had been wanting me to attend the same high school that my Step-brother, Mikey, goes to. I don’t know why she cares so much of whether I go or not, cause she was fine with the idea of homeschooling before Don came in the picture. “But I like just staying at home.” I whined. “Gerard, listen to your mother!” My irritating stepfather, Don yelled from the other side of the room as both he and Mikey continued to watch last night’s football game. “Your first day will be tomorrow.” She said, giving me a look as if she was not wanting to argue any further. “But-“I then stopped myself before I were to make the situation worse. “Ok…I’ll go…” Her eyes immediately lit up. “Great! I’ll call the school. Meanwhile, you should go take a shower so you don’t have to wake up early to do it tomorrow.” She ordered as I headed up the stairs to the bathroom at the end of the hall. As I stripped off my clothes and hopped into the shower, I made sure to set the water on the highest temperature. The hot, steaming water began to run down my bare back as I continued to worry about what my experience at school would be like the next day. I then began to hyperventilate as I knew that I really needed to calm myself down. As I began to lather the soap into my long, raven locks I began to sing any random lyrics that came to my head. Not caring, of how loud I was singing, I began to sing the beginning of Lithium by Nirvana.

“I'm so happy
'Cause today I found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly
But that's okay, 'cause so are you
We broke our mirrors
Sunday morning
Is every day for all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my candles
In a daze 'cause I found God”

I then finally stopped singing since I had finished washing my soapy hair. As I stepped out of the foggy shower, I lifted my head up to look at myself in the mirror. I definitely was not pleased with what I saw. A single tear rolled down my damp face as I just accepted the fact that I was ugly…I was ugly and I couldn’t do a thing about it. I shut my eyes as they were bloodshot from the soap that had lingered in my eyes. “Are you almost done in there? I need to take a shower also.” My annoying stepbrother called from the other side of the bathroom door. “Yeah…I’ll be out in a minute, Mikey.” I replied, sniffling. Before I could do anything else I quickly threw the large towel around my waist so it would hang off my hips. Mikey then knocked again. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” I yelled back as I walked over to the door and opened it to face Mikey. “Finally you came out. You were taking forever in there.” He groaned. “S-sorry bout that, I-““I don’t care, just get out, I need to take a shower.” He ordered as I quickly got out of his way and slammed the door in my face. God he was such an asshole. He never seemed to really like me, and I never really liked him. But my parents absolutely adored him. He would always get good grades at his public school and he was the best athlete in town. If he weren’t so cocky and arrogant I would actually try to become closer to him like a real brother would, but let’s face it he’ll never change. He will always be the perfect son I’ll never be and that’s what really hurts the most…

Notes

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