The mugginess of my room had gotten worse with the days. It was hotter than I'd ever expirenced. I'm betting the leftover cigarette smoke, always lingering around, didn't help much either. It always made me drouzy and lazy, though, some days I didn't really mind that feeling. Today, it made me feel gross and like I was supposed to be outside. I was planning my day before I even opened my eyes and assuming that the air was really getting to my head.
I knew Don was in my room, he had been in there for awhile. I was just surprised to find him at my desk. I would have expected him to at least try to be intimidating. But no, he was just sitting, staring silently at me.
"Don, why are you-"
"Gerard," he sighed softly. I was surprised by the calmness and lack of slur in his voice, "please, don't talk. I have a headache." He sighed, closing his grey eyes and exhaling dramatically. His eyes opened again and continued to watch me, so I reciprocated. I looked at his face; he was old looking and sunken. He had darken circles and bags under his eyes, probably from all the alcohol, that were dull and almost lifeless. He was living just to die, but not for life itself. He knew it and I don't think he really cared. The next thing I knew, he sighed again and left, without another word said between us.
I kicked my blankets off, revealing a surprising cold rush around my body, but it was gone the moment I sat up, my legs over the edge of my bed. I rubbed my eyes with the palms of hands, then looking at over at my clock. It was 12:13. I suddenedly realized that Mikey had slept in my bed. He was obviously gone by now. Mikey had always liked being up super early and watching the sun rise. Maybe one day, before school started, I would join him, or do it by myself.

I didn't make much conversation with Mom or Mikey when I got upstairs. Don was nowhere to be seen.
I sat down to eat when Mom cleared her throat, "have you taken your pills today?" I simply shook my head, "well you should. We don't need another yesterday."
I sighed and was about to say something when my mom cut me off, "Gerard, I'm worried and your anxiety has gone up some what since we moved and-"
"Ma, I'll take them before I leave, alright?"
Her motives switched to about what I was doing,"where are you going?"
"I don't know," I shrugged.
"Just don't drive, understood?" I nodded and went down to my room to take my pills. I came back up and left.

---

I realized that I had been walking around for at least an hour, and hadn't smoked yet. I pulled out my pack and lit one immediately. I felt the cozy, deadly smoke, course through my lungs. I loved that feeling more than life itself. The way it just fills you instantly gives me shivers just thinking about it. I didn't even care it was killing me. I was going to die either way, so I didn't really care.

---

I looked up at the sky when I finally say down at a bench. There was a bright pink horizon line over the hills in the distance. I could see, what looked like all of Belleville. The brilliant pink light was fading into a deep purple, which was underneath a pitch black sky that hung above me and all you could see was the stars, luminating it with ease.
I looked at my phone, 9:30. I texted Mikey and told him I'd be home by 10:30 or 11. He texted back and said Don still wasn't there but Mom had been in tears since 8.

As I walked in the dark, the only light being the glow of my cigarette (besides the streetlights every ten yards or so). I couldn't tell if it suddenly got cold or what, but I felt a prickle rise up and down my spine and it wasn't a good sensation.i slowed my pace and payed closely to the sounds around me. From the sound of boots against the pavement, I could tell I was being followed. I took out my phone and and pretended to call Mikey.
"Hey Mikes," I said into the phone. "Yeah, I'll go to the store before I come home. Okay bye." I said, shutting off my phone. My plan was to lose them in the store and escape out the back and find a shortcut to my house.
When I got into the parking lot of the store, I panicked when I felt a tug on my arm, spinning me around and making me face my follower. As soon as I faced them, I was punched right in the jaw, falling on my side. I instantly felt blood rush out of my nose from hitting the cement.
"What the fuck, dude?" I yelled. I looked up at her, yeah, her. I couldn't really make out a face but I could point out she had a very feminine, yet curvy figure and long black hair that probably went past her breast.
"Stay away from him, or you'll be next." She said simply, but a little more sympathetic. Not because she hit me, but like she was warning me.
"Stay away from who?" I asked but she was already gone. She must have gotten me mixed up with some guy she's with or something. She didn't even know who I was, and the only person I'd even talk to here was Frank and the clerk at the store. It was odd and I was very confused.

When she was nowhere to be seen, I stood up and made my way home. It wasn't that long of a walk, thankfully. Considering what happened, I was lucky when I got home, when I noticed the door from outside that led to my room, was unlocked and I could clean up before seeing Mom and Mikey. They would notice the little cuts on my face but not everything. I always found a way to cover it up.

---

Oddly enough, my body didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I hit the cement pretty hard. I'd probably be sore tomorrow. I felt like I could have fallen asleep as soon as I hit my mattress. But right when my eyes started to feel heavy, my phone rang. I picked it off my bedside table and saw Franks name.
"Hello?" I said sleepily even though I didn't mind talking.
"Hi. Did I wake you? Should I call back tomorrow?" He said rather sad or scared. Or both.
I couldn't help but smile at his concern. I chuckled," No don't worry about me, Frank. What's up?"
"Well, I um..." He hesitated, "I was wondering if I could um.. Come over?"
I looked at my clock, 11:30. "I guess if you snuck in through the back, yeah. Do you want me to wait?"
"Not unless you're already in bed. I-I don't want you to-"
"Frank, I have to smoke anyway." I answered honestly.
"Oh." He said softly. "Okay. See you in ten."
"Kay."

I grabbed a cigarette and quietly walked out. The back door was loud as hell and I didn't want to wake Mikey. I regretted not bringing a sweatshirt with me because it was freezing. Luckily it wasn't long that I felt the comfortable warmth of the cigarette.
Minuets later I saw Frank's petite body approach my driveway.
"Hi." I said softly with my cigarette in my mouth
"Hi." He still sounded scared and sad.
I took my last drag and flicked it into the bushes."C'mon, you're probably freezing. " I said, grabbing his hand and leading him into my room.
I could see all of Frank when we were in my room. The whole right side of his face was a deep purple. "Oh my God, Frank! What-"
My question was cut off by him putting his head in his hands and quietly sobbing. I pulled him tightly and held him.
He eventually pulled away and went into the bathroom to change. He came out in nothing but pajama pants. I guess he really didn't care, and it was the first time I noticed the birds that sat on top of both of his hips. I ignored my sudden reaction to touch them and embrace the fact it was his first impulse to get tangled in my blankets. I turned off the lights before crawling in myself, on the opposite side.
"You don't have to tell me, Frank. Just tell me when you're ready. "
"Mmhm." Was all he could mange to say before both his eyes shut and he was asleep. I wanted to hold him and cuddle him so badly. I wanted to tell him how much I cared, even in the few days I've known him. Hold on, Gerard, I thought to myself. Pace yourself, he'll come to you when he's ready. Don't rush into this again, you remember last time right? You can't do this to yourself.
I felt my eyes begin to fight me again."Iwon't let myself get hurt again," I muttered. "Not like I did with Bert."

Notes

Shitty but I updated for those who still ready my shitty work. Thanks.
i love you
stay ugly