I woke up the next morning at my desk. I was laying on my drawing I had been working on. I really don't even remember falling asleep. My head was pounding and my stomach grumbled. I looked down at my phone. 9:30 am. Damn, this was the earliest I had woken up all summer. I also saw that Frank texted me an hour before. I replied, apologizing and telling him I had just woken up. I was half tempted to go back to bed, but my stomach growled louder than before and I decided I should at least eat once today.

When I got up to the kitchen, I smelt moms perfume, fill the air. It was the sweet kind that made you felt comfortable to be around, even if it wasn't exactly perfect comfort. Mikey's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw me, chocking on the spoonful of cereal he had just taken.
"Holy shit, Gerard-"
"Michael James Way!" Mom yelled. "Don't you talk like that in my house!" She continued. Mikey scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I'm glad to see you're awake though, Gerard." She ended, kissing my cheek softly while I grabbed a bowl for my cereal.
Moms and I relationship isn't the best. I love her, and I know she loves me, but there's something's she done, or hasn't done, that I could never forgive her for. And she knows it.

I felt a startle in my chest when Mikey, almost fell out of his chair from the news on the television. He told mom and I to shush, even though neither of us were talking.
"This is that murder thing that was near the old house!" He squealed.

I became a little intrigued from how excited he was an listened in.
"Detectives still have no suspect to this crime. They have found more than ten bodies in the cell-like, underground hole, cut up and disassembled in very different ways." They should body bags stacked upon each other. "None of the bodies, however, have not been identified. Detectives are also taking the weapons left behind, to do tests for fingerprints." They showed more bags. One wasn't completely closed an all you could see was a hand.
I started to feel my chest tighten. Flashbacks played in my head. Over and over again. My hands and forehead became sweaty and I felt like I was going to implode. I felt like I was spinning continuously, like a fucking top. Before I knew it, I was grabbing moms keys to the car, also grabbing my cigarettes before speeding out of the neighborhood like a fucking maniac, not giving a shit if I really was speeding.

---

I found myself laying on the ground of a room that was all to familiar for me. I forced myself to keep my eyes opened, because when I closed them, the voices became louder. He wouldn't stop. He was yelling and screaming at me. I was screaming back from the top of my lungs, begging my dad to stop.
"I'm sorry, Gerard. I love you." I watched as his body hit the ground like a building being torn down. The matter that was splatter on the ceiling was now slowly falling, one piece at a time. I froze as he lay there, his now lifeless body just pouring out the the only thing that kept him alive.

"Gerard open your eyes."
I was still screaming, tears free falling form my eyes. I felt like my body was being thrown back and forth between the walls of my old bedroom. He was still here. I felt his eyes stare at me.
"Gerard, open your eyes."
"You're not real! You're dead!"
"Gerard I am very much alive. Open your eyes." the voice didn't sound like his anymore but it was still familiar. I opened my eyes. It wasn't him, like I was excepting, but it was Frank. "You're okay."
My breathing was still heavy and my face was dripping with sweat and embarrassment that he was seeing me like this. I was nothing but confused on how he got here or how he knew. "How did you-"
"I heard someone speed out of the neighborhood. I saw that it was your car. I called you like five times before going to you're mom and asking her what happened. She had no idea where you could have gone so I followed you."
I just kept staring at him. There was something in that moment that scared me. Telling me to just get up and run, but of course, I didn't, because at the same time, he was comforting me.

"Where are we?" He asked.
I looked around the room. It was bare but the creamish walls were still the same as I left it. I never bothered painting it, my posters covered it up anyway.
"My old room." I said softly, still trying to catch my breath. I was sitting up by now.
"Why here?"
"it was the first place that came to mind." I said flatly, staring at the ceiling. It all seemed unreal. Everything. "Can we go?" He smiled sadly and nodded, helping me up from my spot and hugging me tightly. He didn't even know why he was hugging me. He didn't have to.

---

After leaving my old house, we stopped at a diner I loved while I was still living in that town. They always made the perfect coffee, and sometimes, if no one was really around, they'd let me smoke.

"Gerard?" My waitress, Mae, called me. "What are you doing here?"
"I couldn't resist coming here. You know it's my favorite get away." I said softly, smiling a little. Mae always had a sweet, caring voice. She always found a way to make me smile. She's helped me through the hard times, and I loved her for it.
"Plus I missed you," I said, giving her a hug.
"I missed you too Gee. School isn't going to be the same without you." She said squeezing me back. She was a year older than me and it was her senior year.

She sat Frank and I down and let me smoke. She got me my coffee and Frank the same. We talked the time we were there, but never did he ask about why I had an episode, which I was thankful for. I talked to him about my childhood. We talked about his too. We talked about music and bands and what they all meant.
"Yeah, I've always wanted to play guitar for a band, but I'm not really that great." He sighed, chuckling a little.
"I bet you're great. You'll have to play for me sometime." I smiled. I was feeling better by then. He knew how to take my mind off things.

It wasn't until Mae came back with more coffee, I realized how later in the day it was. We drank the last of it in comfortable silence as I smoked my last cigarette from the pack I had taken with me.

---

I got home two hours later. When I opened the door, I was bombarded by mom and Mikey. Mom eyes were watering and Mikey stood emotionless. She hugged me tightly and told me I was going to be okay. She knew why I left.
"Have you been taking you're medication?"
I hadn't taken anything for about a month, but she didn't need to know, so I just nodded. I was doing fine without them, today being the only day that I had an episode.
"Just make sure you keep taking them. I can't lose anyone again." She said squeezing me again. She eventually let me go and I went down into my room, with Mikey following. He sat down next to me on my bed.

"Gee," he sighed, "was it dad?"
I looked up at him, "yeah. It was."
"Did you see him? Like his face?"
I shook my head. "No..."
He grabbed me and held me close. I wrapped my arms around his skinny little body. He buried his head in the crook of my neck. I heard him whimper a few times.
"I just miss him, Gee."
"I know, Mikes. I know."
I held him there for what felt like ages. I let him cry for as long as he needed. I was feeling numb by now and very tired.

After a while I was sure he was asleep, but I didn't really care. I laid him down and shimmied out from underneath him and went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. My black hair looked greasy and longer than I'd like but I didn't really care anymore.
I started the shower and waited for the water to run hot. Once it did, I jumped in, feeling the beads slice through my skin. I sighed as I tried to let my mind go blank. I closed my eyes and washed my body.
When I was done with my shower, I took my pills and went back to my bed where Mikey's was still sleeping. I closed my eyes once I hit my pillow, hoping I wouldn't dream about anything. And thankfully I didn't. The one thing I wasn't thankful about, was waking up to Don, standing over my bed the next morning.

Notes

Updated again. I feel like this is really shitty. I will keep describing what or who he, is if you guys want me too.
I love you guys.
Stay Ugly.