You Can Cry All You Want To, I Don't Care

I head back to my dorm room to find Patrick out so I collapse back onto my bed and let out a big sigh, feeling exhausted and totally confused. I am so hurt and upset that Frank still hangs out with Jake and didn't tell me, it feels like he was hiding it and the only reason I can think of that he would be hiding it for is that they're still sleeping together. But I feel bad that I hurt and upset him by almost hooking up with Ian. The look in his eyes this morning broke my heart a little. I do like Ian, he's definitely attractive but I don't know if I should see him again. I'm almost asleep again when someone knocks on the door and I groan out and roll over, pulling the blanket over my head and planning on ignoring it when whoever it is knocks again and I let out a frustrated sigh before dragging myself off the bed and stumbling across to the door. "This better be important" I snap as I pull the door open and I come face and face with Frank. "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were ok" he says softly before wrapping his arm around my waist and guiding me back across the room, laying me back on my bed before pulling the blanket over me and kneeling on the floor beside the bed. "Gee, I'm sorry." "Save it" I tell him, attempting to roll over so my back is to him but he grabs my shoulder and stops me. "Babe please...." "Don't, don't call me babe or baby or anything like that and don't kiss me or cuddle me or touch me." He takes his hand away from my arm before sighing and saying "Gee I'm sorry I didn't tell you I'm still in contact with him. I wasn't expecting him to be there and I wanted to be able to tell you about it in private where we could talk it out but I never got the chance. I wasn't trying to hide it and I have nothing to hide I promise, I just wasn't sure how to bring it up because I know it's unusual but he's actually become a really good friend of mine." "So if I choose to be with you again he's always going to be around?" "He's just a friend." "I can't stand to look at him so maybe you should just go, clearly this isn't going to work out since he's so important to you." "Gee no, nothing in my life is more important than you and I love you, truly I do and I would never hurt you like that again because I know how fucking painful it is to lose you and I don't think I could survive it a second time." "I just don't know anymore Frank." Franks eyes well with tears as he chokes out "So that's it?" "I'm not ready to be with you again" I tell him and he cracks, silent tears sliding down his cheeks and I feel my own eyes well with tears. "Frankie please" I beg, unable to stand to see him cry. I feel my own tears start to fall and we stare into each other's eyes while we cry. I slide back on the bed and open my arms, Frank launching himself off the floor to lay beside me and he buries himself against my chest. "Please don't cry" I whisper and he lets out a small whine before saying "I can't lose you again Gee." "I'm right here Frankie." Franks hands clench in my shirt and I gently rub his back. When he calms down again he pulls back and I lock eyes with him as I say "I think we should just be friends for a while. And when I say friends not how we have been, no sleep overs, no kissing and no sex. Just friends." Frank bites his trembling bottom lip and nods.

The following day I head out to my classes and as I'm leaving the last one for the day my phone beeps in my pocket and when I pull it out I see it's a message from Bert asking me if I want to go for coffee. I message back and let him know I'll meet him out front in fifteen minutes, making my way back to my room to drop off my stuff before going out to meet him. Bert and I spend the whole afternoon together, laughing and joking over coffee before going for a walk and as we make our way down the street Bert slips his hand into mine and I turn my head to smile at him when he stops us and leans in, sealing his lips to mine. I kiss back, turning to face him and he slides his free hand around my waist and pulls me against him, our chests pressed together as our lips move against each other, our tongues sliding together. When we pull away Bert drops my hand and brings his now free hand up to stroke my hair back off my face and down to cup the back of my neck, keeping my face close to his as he rests his forehead against mine. "Gerard, I really like you" he pants slightly as he stares into my eyes and I swallow hard before pulling away a little and saying "Bert, I'm not....I'm not ready to date again yet." Disappointment flashes across his face before he says "That's ok, we can just keep it casual for a while?" I smile as I say "Are you sure you're ok with that?" "Yeah, I like you Gerard and whatever you need, I'll do." I nod before shooting him a small smile. "Do you want to get some dinner?" He asks and I let out a small sigh before saying "Sorry I have a lot of work to do, do you mind if we maybe leave dinner for next time?" "Next time?" He says hopefully before smiling wide and saying "Of course, I'll walk you back then."

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