You Can Cry All You Want To, I Don't Care

I go to my afternoon class still feeling upset and confused and by the time I come out I decide to just go back over to Franks, give him his jacket back and forget the whole thing and maybe see if Bert wants to hang out but when I step outside to head back across campus to the dorm building I see Frank hanging around the front of the building. "Hey you" he greets me and I swallow down the lump in my throat as I say "Hey, I was just gonna come over to your place, give your jacket back." "Oh you don't need to...." "No it's fine, you should have it back" I say, cutting him off and even I can tell how upset I sound. "Gee are you alright?" Frank asks and I shrug before saying "Come on I'll get the jacket for you, I'm sure you have other stuff you need to do, other people to see." Frank frowns and as I start walking again he grabs my arm and stops me. "Gee what's going on?" I take a deep breath before saying "Look I wasn't like spying on you or anything I'm not like that, your life is your life, whatever but I found some guys phone number in your jacket pocket and....well good for you I just can't do this again." "Wait, what?" Frank asks and I shake my head as I pull my arm from his grip and start walking into the building, Frank following me and when we get to my room we go in, Patrick sitting on his bed and when he sees Frank he looks to me and says "Hey should I go and..." "No it's alright" I tell him, pleading with my eyes for him to stay and he nods before turning back to his book. "Here" I say, grabbing Franks jacket off the hook and handing it to him. "I don't want to keep you from whatever else you have going on so...." "Gee stop. What are you even talking about?" "Sam" I say, the name rolling off my tongue like it's poison. "It's fine, really. We can just be friends...." I say but I'm cut off by Frank laughing. "No no Gee it's not what you think" he tells me, digging through the pocket to find the number. "This is it yeah?" He asks, holding it infront of me. I nod, biting my lip to keep my eyes from welling with tears and he chuckles and says "Babe he's a bass player. Shane is leaving the band and we are trialling this guy out. He's straight too if that makes you feel any better." "Oh" I say, feeling relieved but still a little upset. "Gee baby I promised you I wouldn't do that to you again. I'm sorry you got the wrong idea." "No I'm sorry I shouldn't have been looking and I jumped to the worst possible conclusion and...." "It's ok, I have nothing to hide from you and I don't mind that you looked. Just talk to me next time yeah?" "Ok" I tell him as I give him a slight nod and he smiles and pulls me in for a hug which I melt into willingly.

Frank and I hang out in my room for a while, Patrick heading to a late class and when he leaves Frank tackles me back onto my bed and starts tickling me until I can't breathe through my laughter and I am crying, begging him to stop. We collapse together on the bed, Frank half ontop of me and I turn my head towards him, sealing my lips to his. He immediately kisses back, moving to hover over me again and we make out heatedly but when his hands hesitate at my belt I break the kiss to say "I don't think I...." "We don't have to" Frank reassures me and we keep kissing and gently touching each other until we need to break for air again. "I'm sorry" I pant out as Frank collapses beside me on the bed. "For what?" "Leading you on like this, I just....I know we slept together the other night but I just feel like I'm not...." "It's ok babe, you're not ready and I'm fine with waiting." I smile at him, feeling better that he understands and he smiles back before saying "What are we Gee? I mean we're not boyfriends but we're not exactly just friends either are we?" "I don't know, I know you want to be boyfriends but I don't know if I'm ready to be that again yet, I'm scared of trusting you and getting in too deep again and getting hurt." I swallow hard, regretting blurting it out like that and Frank looks slightly hurt as he says "I guess I deserve that." "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." "No don't be sorry, you're just being honest and that's ok, I'm sure I'd feel that way too." Frank sits up and stretches a little before saying "I should probably get going." I nod, remaining silent as I try not to cry knowing that I hurt him but as he stands and starts pulling his shoes back on I break, silent tears streaming down my face and when Frank turns back to say goodbye he sees them and sighs before sitting back on the edge of the bed and pulling me into his arms. "Babe please don't cry" he says softly as I cling to him and he rubs my back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad or upset I just..." "You didn't, it's ok I promise." "Then why are you leaving?" I sniffle out and he smiles softly at me before saying "Because I can literally feel myself falling for you all over again and I fear that if I don't leave now I'll never leave and you'll have to call the cops on me." I let out a little giggle before tightening my arms around him and saying "I know it's selfish of me and I'm sending you mixed signals but I really wish you would stay." "You want me
to stay?" He asks, looking shocked. "Yeah, I like being with you" I tell him honestly and he reaches out to gently stroke my cheek as he says "Do you wanna come stay over again? Atleast that way we have a private room." My eyes widen as I nod and Frank smiles and says "Alright come on then. I have a band practice tonight but you can hang out at my place if you don't want to come." I climb off the bed and pull my own shoes on, reaching for my jacket but Frank stops me and offers me his again and I smile as I slip it on and his scent envelops me again. "Come on" he says as he takes my hand and we head out, walking to his apartment again.

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