You Can Cry All You Want To, I Don't Care

That night I wake up from a terrible nightmare about Frank finding out about Ian and leaving me and I wake up sobbing and panting for breath as I sit up, Frank stirring and sitting up beside me, pulling me into his arms. "Shh hey it's alright my love, I've got you. You're ok, I won't let anything happen to you" he whispers softly and I slide across to sit in his lap, leaning back against his chest as I try to get my breathing under control again and Frank holds me tight until I can breathe again. When I've calmed down Frank gently guides me off his lap, laying me back beside him and he reaches down to stroke my hair back off my forehead as he says "You want some water my love?" And I nod slowly, Frank leaning down to kiss my forehead before he climbs out of bed and says "I'll be right back ok?" I nod again and he leaves the room, coming back a minute later with a bottle of water and I sit up and have a drink before handing it back to Frank and laying down again, Frank climbing back on the bed and laying beside me, facing each other. "Talk to me my love, what's on your mind?" I shrug, remaining silent and Frank lets out a soft sigh before saying "Come on baby, you've been off all day, whatever's on your mind is clearly upsetting you. Whatever it is you can tell me, I promise it will be ok, it will make you feel better." I remain silent, taking a few deep breaths and Frank reaches out and gently cups my cheek as my eyes well with more tears. "Baby come on, you're starting to scare me." I take another deep shaky breath, opening my mouth but nothing comes out so I close it again, the words caught in my throat. Frank stares at me, his forehead creased in concern but he remains silent, giving me a chance to get it out. "Ian and I kissed" I say softly after a few long seconds and Frank remains still, his facial expression unchanging as the words sink in and after a few seconds he says "You what?" "Frank please don't over react" I plead, worried about what's going to happen now that it's all out in the open. "You kissed Ian?" He asks, his voice scarily calm. "Well he kissed me first but yeah, I kissed back." "When?" "When you were in here with Jamia during the party." "Do you like him?" I remain silent, biting on my bottom lip again and anger flashes across Franks face as he says "Do you like him?" "Yes." Frank takes a deep breath, exhaling angrily as he climbs out of bed and makes his way across the room and I climb out of bed and follow him and as he goes to open the door and leave he says "Is this payback? You're just doing this to punish me right?" "Well I didn't fuck him for months behind your back so...." I snap but I'm cut off by Frank turning back around, his face looking terrifying. "I swore I wouldn't hit you again so don't fucking follow me" he spits out, his voice tight and I swallow hard as he turns and leaves the room, slamming the door behind himself.

I slowly cross the room back to the bed, sitting on the edge and listening for sounds in the apartment, worried about what Frank will do but everything remains quiet. After a while I lay back down but I can't fall asleep so I get up and make my way out of the room, quietly making my way down the hall and as I approach the living room door I hear the sound of muffled sobs and I slowly walk in, seeing Frank on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, curled in on himself his whole body shaking. I cross the room towards him, stopping before I reach him and sinking to the floor, leaving a decent space between us. "Frankie" I say softly, Franks head lifting up and his eyes are red and swollen. "I'm sorry" I say softly and Frank lets out another small whine before burying his face in his knees again and I slide across the floor beside him and I wrap my arms around him, pulling him against me. "Frankie I'm sorry. I love you and I'm sorry." "Why?" He asks and I sigh as I say "I don't have a good excuse, he kissed me and I just....gave in." "Do you want to be with him?" "Physically, yes. Other than that no. I'm not going to lie, I love Ian but not in the way I love you. He's my best friend and he's like part of my family so I love him for that but it's not the same as what we have." "So if I gave you a free pass...." "No Frank, I don't want that. I don't want to hurt you, I couldn't do that free pass or not." "Please don't leave me" Frank whimpers out and I tighten my hold on him as I say "Never baby, I'm not going anywhere."

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