You Can Cry All You Want To, I Don't Care

The next morning when I wake up Frank is plastered to my back, his arm wrapped tight around my waist and his face is buried in the back of my neck, his hot breath washing over my skin. I tense up at first but when I realise he's still sleeping I relax a little, deciding that I'll allow it until he wakes up and ten minutes later he starts to stir, nuzzling into my neck before he freezes and lets go of me, sliding back a little to separate our bodies and he rushes out "I'm sorry I didn't mean to...." So I roll onto my back and reach out to rest my hand over his. "Frank it's alright." Frank smiles softly at me before saying "You're amazing you know that?" "You may have told me once or twice but I don't mind hearing it again" I say jokingly as I roll onto my side to face him and Frank laughs as he rolls to face me and I smile at the sight. "It's good to see you laugh and be happy" I tell him and he smiles a little wider and says "I'm always happy when you're around." "Frankie I know we're all fucked up right now but we'll work on it, I promise." Franks smile goes so wide I'm afraid it will break his face and he slowly slides his hand out towards me and rests it over one of mine. "I really don't deserve you" he says softly and I shake my head as I turn my hand over and curl my fingers through his.

The next few days pass weirdly, Frank and I a little closer than before but still awkward and after the first night Frank sleeps on the couch like we agreed. I'm currently at home making dinner and Ian and Frank are at band practice and just as the lasagna comes out of the oven the front door opens and they come in joking and laughing and when they come into the kitchen Ian walks over and wraps his arm around my waist as he says "Be my housewife Gee, I'll keep you in art supplies and orgasms if you cook for me like this every day" and I start laughing as I shove him off me, turning to see Frank looking a little upset. "Too bad I'm already married, you'll have to go out and find someone else" I tell him and Franks expression lightens into a small smile. Once we're sitting at the table eating Frank reaches out under the table and gently squeezes my hand to get my attention and when I turn my head to face him he smiles and says "We're playing another show tomorrow night, can you come?" "Of course" I tell him, smiling back and we eat the rest of the meal with our hands linked under the table. The next night we head out to the party the guys are playing at and just as they're ready to go on I wander out to take my place in the crowd, preferring to watch from there rather than from the side and when the guys launch into their first song the crowd goes wild and a lot of people are singing along and I feel amazed that they have so many fans that know their songs that well. Three songs in the guys take a break for a second and Frank says "I want to play a song I wrote very recently and I wrote it about something I'm going through with the most amazing and beautiful person I've ever met who is in the crowd right now and he's standing right over there" and he points at me, a lot of people turning around to look at me and I feel my face go bright red as I flip him off and he giggles into the microphone before saying "So this song is a little different from our usual stuff but this is what that gorgeous man does to me. This is You're On My Mind." The guys start playing and the song is slower than their usual stuff, Franks voice more dominant over the music. "i got my bags all packed and i’m ready to go. i’m standing outside of your figurative door. and i’m ready for the flight or to fall of a cliff, but if it’s alright with you i’d rather not miss out on us. cause your face is all i need to stay sane. i’ve spent my life getting in my own way. so i could use something good, i really need this to work out. of course the way things have been going it might be smarter to just cash out. but you’re on my mind, and the things that you say hurt me most of the time. but i’m sinking fast so it’s alright. i’ve tied my stomach in knots and I’m ready to know. i’ll put it on the line if you’d just give it a go. cause i wanna be the only one to hold you so close and so tight. and if it’s cool with you, i’d really love to spend the night. you said you never wanna be saved, well, that’s ok because i really wouldn’t know how. just know that the best that i’ll ever be is whatever you make me and wherever you are…you’re on my mind, and the things that you say hurt me most of the time. but i’m on your side, cause i know i’m not easy to deal with sometimes. but i’m sinking fast, so it’s alright. all we wanted was what we were, and what we were was young and naive. i found my place in this world, it’s in your wake. you’re on my mind, and the things that you say hurt me most of the time. but i’m on your side, because i know i’m not easy to deal with sometimes. but once in a while, i wish you would tell me if you even care. because i’m sinking fast, and i need you…i need you to know that i’m alright."

Notes

Big romantic gesture.....will it work?

Also shout out to Frank for the amazing song, Prettiest is currently (and has been since I got my CD) my favourite song on the album : )