Things had gotten better, but I didn't leave Gerard's side. I was like a lost puppy with him and I could tell he got annoyed with me sometimes. He would tell me to go away but never was harsh.

He was sober, clean but sometimes he did get a little hostile. Like tonight.

I stood infront of the front door, blocking my brothers way out. He wanted to leave out to his dealer, I had checked his phone when he wasn't looking. I wouldn't let him go, I can't loose my brother to drugs again.

"Get out of my way!" Gerard growled at me. He looked roughed up, the look in his eyes was almost bloodthristy.

"N-No, I won't let you go to that asshole's home!" I said, I wouldn't let him go. No, not again.

"Dammit Mikey! It's just one time!"

"No Gee! You promised me, you promised me that you wouldn't do it again!" I yelled at him.

Gerard sat on the couch and tossed his money on the ground. "You don't understand how fucking hard this is! You don't have fucking cravings for things you know you can't have!"

He was so wrong. He was my craving that I could never have. Gerard, my big brother was my ultimate craving. My only desire to have, I wish I could tell him. I went to him and hugged him, "Gerard you know what happens when you have them... You promised. Don't you want to be healthy again?"

Gerard sighed, "Fuck... of course I do. It's just so fucking miserable being like this. I can't function right Mikes."

I shook my head, "You're perfect to me."

"Yea because 'big bro can do no wrong' kinda shit goes on in your mind. I see the way you look at me mikey, I know what you think."

Oh no, fuck. Does he know. I chewed on my lip and just hoped.

"You think I'm your hero or something, I'm far from it. You're like my shadow."

Thank god he didn't say what I thought he would. I can deal with being a shadow. "Well, you are my hero..."

"Even after I beat you and called you all that shit I said?" He asked. Gerard never really got over that day. I know it loomed over him and he would often look at my arms when I wore short sleeved shirts. I knew he had dreams about it because he would say my name and repeat 'why would you do this to yourself' multiple times.

"Gee, stop. That's in the past, I don't care." I said, snapping him out of his sadness. My hands ran through his greasy black hair, I rested my forehead against his. Gerard looked into my eyes and then gave a smile.

"Fuckin nerd...." He pulled away and knocked off my glasses. "You're cheesy as shit." Gerard went through these highs and lows, I'm guessing it was some symptom from the previous addiction.

I whined and looked around with my terrible vision for my glasses. I grabbed them and put them back on. "You're an ass sometimes Gee."

"Yea yea, and you're a little twink Mikes." Gerard said before leaving the living room.

Wait, he just.. called me a twink? Isn't that a type of porn cate- Oh my fucking god. I felt my cheeks practically light on fire as I went to my room. I closed the door and locked it as I laid on my bed. Did he like twinks? When did he think of me like that? Was he just saying that? All these thoughts were flowing through my mind.

I thought of him, grabbing me by my hips. I englufled myself in my day dream...

---

"Gee.... that's..." I moaned. I felt him touching me all over, these clothes felt so tight around me. His breath right at my neck as he groped my ass.

"You like that don't you? You like your big brother touching your ass?" He said in a seductive tone, this being the second time I heard it. Gerard kissed at my neck, he sucked at it and left a hickey.

"G-Gee someone is going t-too see.." I moaned out, god I can't control my own voice when he is doing this too me. He just knew how to touch me, he knew how to make me feel the best.

Gerard snaked his hands under the back of my skinny jeans and pulled them down along with my boxers. My dick sprang up, rubbing against my stomach since he was pressed against me. He didn't pay any attention to my throbbing erection, Gerard just groped and smacked my ass.

"mmfff...." I couldn't help but enjoy it. My dick ached for touch but how he had me, there was no chance of me touching it. My arms were around his neck and my hands tangled in his hair. He had me leaned back more against the table, his hand gripping my cheeks hard. "ahhh..."

"Damn you little slut, you moan like a cheap whore..." Gerard growled in my ear. It was feral, needy, like he owned me. It just made me moan again. He rubbed his finger around my hole, pressing on it. "You have a tight little ass huh Mikes? Are you saving it for my dick?"

I nodded and bit my lip, arching my back. It felt so good. Even though it was raw and not even lubed he stuck a finger in me. It hurt just a bit but I got used to it. Then he started making a stroking motion with his finger against something inside me that made me moan so loud.

"Y-Yes... t-there... again..." I said in a sobby beg.

"You're such a whore..." he grunted as he pushed another finger in and stretched me.

I squirmed, "agh...ahh..." I could feel him stretching my tight muscle that allowed his fingers to penetrate me. He then pressed them up on that spot that felt so good. I bucked my hips against his but it didn't help at all. He moved his fingers harder, making me almost yell in pleasure.

My body tingled with ectascy, easily making me shake under him. "G-G-Gee!" I was so close already. My brother pounded his fingers into me, "take it like a slut, cum all over your fucking self."

Gerard pulled away just in time, my cum did indeed shoot on myself. it was on my stomach and a small part of my chest.

"I love you..." I said to him...

---

I opened my eyes and looked down, my pants were wet. I sighed, another wet dream about him again. I changed quickly, I laid back down and sighed. "Dammit..."

An hour or so passed before Gerard opened my door. He strolled in and handed me some coffee.

I took it and smiled; as I drank I closed my eyes, he knew just how to make it right.

"So, I got this movie and I don't wanna watch it alone 'cuz it wouldn't be fun. So I thought, why not watch it with my lil nerdy brother?" Gerard said, giving me his signature smile.

I rolled my eyes, "What, is your ' lil nerdy brother' a last resort?" I said jokingly.

He hit me over the head lightly, of course he laughed. "Naw, you're not. Plus, It's a good movie apparently and no one is here. Just us right? It helps get my mind off things when I'm involved in something."

I couldn't help but smile as he popped in the movie and played it. It was a horror movie, I didn't pay attention to the title but the characters did look a little freaky. I took a sip of my coffee as it played.

Dammit, i felt like such a pussy. I had almost screamed when the killer popped onto the screen. Gerard burst into a fit of laughter when he heard me. "Y-You g-got scared over that!" he was hysterically laughing his ass off.

I blushed in embarrassment, "It's not that funny Gee!" I took another drink of my coffee.

Gerard calmed down his laughing after a minute or two and went back to watching the movie.

I hid my face in his jacket when the killer would pop up on the screen, that actor was fucking good because he scared the shit out of me every damn time. Gerard put his arm around me and let me lean on him more.

It felt like something a couple would do, and I enjoyed it. I gasped a bit when the murderer killed the main character, I nuzzled my face into his shirt.

Gerard pet me, "It's over mikey." He said as he turned the movie off. "Are you really that scared?"

I nodded, still not looking up from his shirt.

"Well I'll protect you, so don't be scared." He lifted me up a bit and pulled me down on the bed and topped me. "I'll protect you Mikes..."

I couldn't make a sound, he was leaning in on me. I closed my eyes as his lips pressed on mine. They were a bit rough, he ran his hand through my brown hair and laced his tongue on my lips.

I couldn't help but open them, his tongue easily dominated my own. This was my first kiss and it already was a make out. He explored my mouth, I rubbed my tongue with his, our saliva mixing.

He pulled back a bit and kissed up my neck, "You taste like sweet coffee...." he murmered as he licked up my neck.

God, it was like my day dream but this was real. I shivered and moaned as he kissed me again. He tugged my hair a bit which made me gasp. He took his chance and shoved his tongue in my mouth again, god he was so dominant.

It lasted about 3 more minutes until he stopped. "M-Mikey..."

I looked up into his eyes, "G-Gee..."

My brother kissed me softly, "I couldn't help but kiss you, you were practically begging for it." He smirked and was about to say something. But, it never came out.

My door flew open, our parents stood there. They saw us, Gerard ontop of me and I was practically hanging onto him.

"BOYS!" Our father boomed. His voice rang throughout the household.

Gerard sat up, "Look Dad... I can explain..."

I hid behind Gerard, peeking out at my dad. His face was practically red with anger, I just prayed Gee could do the talking because I sure couldn't.

Notes

Well that escalated quickly. I finally got some of the real pairing in here.
Gerard, I hope you know what to say
comment and rate!