Save Me

Later that day Frank decided to go for a walk.
I didn’t really have a problem with that, (who would have a problem with going on a walk with the double of a really, really cute guy that you were told you need to embrace your feelings for however that’s probably never going to happen because I mean come on?) and we wouldn’t have to worry about bumping in to other people, being that there are no other people here in imagination land.
I was of course not fully there though, I was still debating the origin of Real Frank’s odd behavior. Was it that weird to at least consider it was because he liked me? I seriously doubted it but in our few years as friends he’s never…. Well maybe he has….
God, I don’t even know.
“Hey Frank?” I asked looking over to him, “Is there something you didn’t tell me? Something I would really like to know for the sake of my sanity and to keep me from questioning everything, perhaps?”
He smirked, “You see the thing about this whole ordeal is that I can’t really tell you anything you don’t already know, not that I would want to anyway. Things always end up working out better when outsiders aren’t involved, ya know, and giving everything away. I guess you’ll just have to figure it out yourself.”
“Figure what out?” I whined, I’m so tired of figuring things out, I obviously suck at it.
“Well you see, I’m not that big of a dumbass that I’m gonna tell you everything, I just said that.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever. Hey, but, umm, how long am I going to be here? I kinda have a math test I need to study for.”
“Oh Gerard, you and I both know you’re gonna fail that test whether you study or not,” he said joking along, “to be honest, I don’t know. I guess when you’re ready, as cheesy as that sounds.”
“Well damn, I was really looking forward to being in an unimaginable hell of uncomfortability when I confess my undying love for another only to have him reject me end our friendship due to all the tension, both normal and sexual, but I guess I’ll just have to wait here,” I sighed, dramatically.
“Maybe that’s it, maybe you are just gonna go back into life and continue being afraid of everything. Obviously Life doesn’t like that idea.”
“I am not afraid of everything!” I protested.
“Oh please, remind me again of that social anxiety you have? And you are afraid of rejection and of making mistakes, but you don’t have to be perfect Gerard, no one is. Besides, as you know, no one would really care if you screw up because they are all too worried about screwing up themselves.”
“Yeah, but they do care, people don’t get bullied for no reason,” unless you don’t consider just plain being ‘gay’ a legitimate reason for getting bullied (which I don’t). Then again I guess there are no legitimate reasons to bully someone, yet people do it anyway. “People really suck sometimes, is it really so wrong to never want to be around them?”
He rolled his eyes, “Not everyone is so bad that you can’t ever at least talk to them, but whatever. Maybe you just care too much about what others think about you--”
“I disagree,” I interrupted.
“Then why do you insist on never doing anything with a risk? Why do you always play the safe card instead of get yourself noticed for once?”
“Because it’s easier.”
“But sometimes it’s not as rewarding, not as fun. You don’t get anything out of ‘easy’,” he said.
“Maybe I don’t want to get something out of it.”
“You want Frank, though. You can’t get anything by just doing nothing.”
“Can you just stop bringing that up? What, is that your sick point to all of this? Force me into this so I can get my first spoonful of risk-taking rejection? So I can get used to it and then not be ‘scared’ anymore? I don’t want to lose my best friend so I can be prepared for a ‘normal’ life ahead!” I yelled.
“I’m not trying to force you into anything, I’m just trying to point you in the right direction!” he replied.
“‘Right direction’ my ass,” I retorted.
“I would’ve thought ‘your ass’ would be the precise right direction you would want Frank to go in….”
‘No, that’s not a blush on my face, that’s a sunburn’ I thought while walking speechlessly.
“Sure, sure, whatever,” He laughed in triumph.
You win this time, Fake Iero.
“I guess what I was trying to say was don’t be afraid of taking chances,” he said, putting his serious face on again.
“Well, we don’t need any more cheese on this pizza, are you a therapist or a motivational speaker?” I asked, sarcastically.
“Shut up, you’re not helping your case you know. How about this: if anyone ever laughs at you just try to not care, tell them to ‘Fuck off!’.”
“But I can’t tell Frank to ‘Fuck off!’ if he laughs at me for following your advice and ‘embracing my feelings’, I actually care about Frank.”
“And he cares about you too, and that’s why he’s not going to laugh in your face when you tell him.”
When. Not if, when. Just thinking about telling him makes my stomach churn, I don’t want to guarantee anything with ‘when’s’ just yet.
“Well I would want to plan on at least doing something. If you’re always gonna be in love with him then you either have to tell him or get jealous over all his significant others in the future. And boy, jealousy can really ruin a friendship, don’t you think?”
I sighed. He was right.
“Of course I am, I’m always right,” he said.
We continued the walk silently from then on due to my uncontrollable fretting over what I could possibly say to Real Frank to best word my confession.

Notes

Heeeey, short chapter.
Tomorrows my birthday :3
Welp, once again if anyone has any suggestions or corrections I don't bite, im just glad people are reading it.