Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

Gerard looked down. His red hair hung over his eyes as he said, "It was a rush. A bloody, psychotic rush..." He added, "At first you tend to black out but when you see your own hands killing a living person, the world around you stops, and you take in a deep breath before continuing the job. The thick red blood trails down your hands and you feel like you've done what's right...until your caught." Gerard looked up at me. He smiled a bit, "That's what it feels like."
Just don't get caught.
I looked at Gerard, "What if you didn't get caught? What if you escaped?"
Gerard's hazel eyes sparked, "Then I wouldn't be here."
I smiled. This man has a bright but psychotic mind. I liked that about him. I replied, "Have you ever cuddled, Gerard?"
Gerard looked at me, "Cuddled? I mean, I've hid in the corner and clung onto a bear when I was smaller but...cuddling with another human being? No, I haven't."
That was the most saddest/cutest thing I have ever heard. Without my signal, Gerard climbed on top of me and held onto my shirt. He smiled, "This is nice. My old roommate just laid there not acknowledging my existence..."
"Well, that was dumb of him."
Gerard smiled, "Yeah, it was." Gerard's red hair brushed against my bottom lip as he shifted to turn his back to me. I felt his ass against my penis, which was nice. Sure we're both a little crazy, sure he committed murder, but being gay is not crazy. Being gay is what makes me me. Then again, I didn't want to trigger his traumatic experience by touching him without his consent. I wouldn't want to end up like his neighbor.
Gerard sighed happily, "How is your mom and dad anyway? I haven't seen my parents since I was twelve."
"My mom is okay...my dad is dead."
"How?"
"He fell off a roof putting up Christmas lights and snapped his neck when I was thirteen."
"Ouch." Gerard said, "I was taken away from my parents. Police said I was safe now and that everything was going to be okay. I don't remember why they took me."
I frowned, "Are you sure? Twelve seems like an age you could remember..." And then it all made sense. "Gerard, have you ever thought that maybe you're blocking it out? The memories?"
Gerard frowned, "Why would I do that?"
I shrugged, "Maybe...your parents weren't good people?"
Gerard stared up at the ceiling.
I added, "I mean, you have PTSD...maybe your parents had something to do with it? Gerard, did they...touch you?"
Gerard forced a laugh, "Of course they did! They're parents."
"No, no, Gerard...did they violate you? In your rectum or penis?"
Gerard shifted his body, sitting on my lap, "What do you mean?"
I looked up at him, "Gerard, it would explain why you have PTSD and why police took your parents away..."
Gerard looked at me. He shook his head, "No...they...it was normal..."
"No, Gerard...it's not."
Gerard's lips shook, his eyes were glassy. He said, "But..." A tear fell before he bent down and clenched onto my shirt again. He cried, "I trusted them!"
I patted his back and kissed his neck, "Let it out, Gee."
Gerard looked at me, "Who's Gee?"
I smiled, "I gave you a nickname."
He chuckled, tears streaming down his face, "Can I still call you Frankie?"
I nodded.
Gerard laid his body out onto mine and sniffed, "Who needs anyone else when I got you, Frankie?"
My heart stopped for a second. Remember when I said I locked myself in my apartment because I didn't know who was real or who was just in my head? Well, this is real ladies and gentlemen. And believe it or not, I'm starting to like reality. A lot.
Bloody murder! Bloody murder! You've been beheaded because of bloody murder!
Outcasted by so many people just because you're different.
When the going gets tough, shoot it with a gun.
Bam bam goes the bullet as it passes through the skull.
Why are you scared Frankie?

Notes