Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

After lunch, Gerard dragged me down the halls. He showed me where the bathrooms were, where we could hang out, and finally, the room where Mr. Stump was awaiting is. He smiled at us, "What'd I tell you Frank? Told you you'd be making friends. Same to you, Gerard." He smiled.
Gerard blushed, "It took me a while to make a friend."
Mr. Stump winked, "But you did, huh?"
Gerard grinned.
Mr. Stump said, "Go ahead and take your seats. We'll be starting soon."
Gerard sat down and gestured me to sit down next to him. I did. It was just us three for a short period of time, but soon people joined in. About four other people. Mr. Stump walked up to the podium and said, "A few weeks ago we lost a friend. Steven was a great outspoken man...I don't know why he ended his own life, but I do know he had lived a great one." He smiled at me, "We have a new member in our group. Frank, why don't you tell us a little about yourself?"
I shook my head, "It's okay."
Gerard said, "Come on, Frankie."
I sighed, "I don't feel like it."
The group looked at me. Their eyes were begging for me to step up for some reason. Go ahead, Frankie. It was Ray. I got the courage to stand, but that was all. I swallowed nervously as I headed up to the podium where Mr. Stump moved aside. I coughed nervously, "Hi."
The group waved hi besides Gerard who said, "Hi!"
I chuckled. I said, "My name is Frank Iero...and I have schizophrenia."
Gerard smiled.
"Um, my mom sent me here...I'm staying here for a year..." I looked at Mr. Stump who smiled, with his hand into a fist underneath his chin. He asked, "You hear voices?"
"Yes."
"Are they bad?"
"Not all of them."
Days pass, you breathe. All you do is live not knowing that anytime of the day, any second, you're going to die.
I added, "Some help me though the day believe it or not."
Was that for me, Frankie? Ray's voice giggled.
Mr. Stump smiled, "I'm glad to hear that, buddy." Buddy?
It seemed like the therapy session was longer than it needed to be. Mr. Stump was telling me to call him Patrick, Gerard was being a cute dork, and the voices in my head were getting louder. They taunt me and told me to do things that were just plain stupid and could send me to prison. Patrick said before the session was over, "Frank, remember, it's safe here."
"Um, okay. Thanks."
Gerard led me out of the therapy room and into the hallway. He smiled, "What do you think so far?"
"It's not bad. I thought it'd be filled with, well, violence. But everything seems to be organized."
Gerard frowned, "One rule in here. Don't eat the cupcake."
"What's up with you and the cupcakes?"
Gerard looked up to the corner of the hallway to a camera blinking red. He turned to me, "Just don't eat it."
I raised a brow, "Okay...where are we off to now?"
Gerard shrugged, "Back to our room until dinner time." He grinned, "Let's go. We could get to know each other more." He held my hand and led me back to our room. He shut the door behind us and sat on the bottom bunk, "So, do you see anyone here besides us?"
"No, not right now-hey, so when do we get our prescription pills?"
"No? Huh, bummer. And yeah, after dinner."
"when's dinner?"
"Five."
I groaned, "That's in five hours! The voices are going to scream in my head by then."
Gerard smiled, "Distract yourself. And the voices."
"Without music? Is there another way?"
Gerard jumped up from the bed, "We can play games!" He stood in front of me, "Okay, so, have you ever played Simon says?"
I grinned, "Gerard,"
"Yeah?"
"Stop being such a dork," I made my way to the top bunk and laid down. Gerard stood on the side of my bed, "What do you mean?" His eyes peered over the bed to me.
"You're being really adorable."
Gerard smirked, "Shucks, Frankie."
I sat up abruptly, "What did you call me?"
Gerard took a step back, "Frankie..." His fingers played together as he stood by the far wall. Did I scare him? I frowned, "No, no, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just...there's this one voice in my head whose been the only one whose ever called me that. His name is Ray."
Gerard looked at me, "Ray? That's an awesome name." He smiled.
I like this kid. Ray chuckled.
Gerard walked over to my bunk and climbed onto it, "What about the others? What are their names?"
"I tend to forget. I usually don't care because the rest of the voices are assholes. They tell dark poems in my head, tell me to murder someone, or they mock me."
"Oh? Tell me a poem."
"I don't think so."
Gerard frowned, "Well, okay..." He added, "Can I ask you something?"
I nodded, "Sure."
"Have you ever murdered someone?"
"No...can I ask you something?"
He nodded.
"How did it feel to murder someone?"
Bet it felt amazing. A voice laughed, But you'll never know unless you try.

Notes