You're Not In This Alone

After dad and pa leave, putting Sophie in her crib I sit on the couch and stare off into space, the new information rattling around in my brain and I'm startled when the door opens and Ryan comes in. "Hey baby.....are you ok?" He asks when he sees the look on my face. He quickly crosses the room to kneel infront of me and I take a deep breath before locking my eyes with his. "I um, you know that guy I told you about next door?" Ryan frowns before saying "Yeah, what about him?" "He came over earlier to see if we needed any help with getting settled and I invited him in and...." "Baby are you ok? What did he do?" Ryan asks, cutting me off and I shake my head. "No I'm ok he didn't.....dad and pa showed up while he was here and...." I tell him everything Pa told me and by the time I'm done Ryan looks worried. "Baby I don't.....I don't know what to say, are you alright?" "Yeah I'm ok, just a little...shocked I guess? I mean I always wondered about my mom and now she might live next door and she's not a good person and I'm just confused about the whole thing." "You know I won't let them hurt you right?" I smile at him as I say "I know babe, I'm just confused about if I should try to meet her." Ryan stands up and sits beside me, pulling me into his side. "Well that's your decision baby and if you want me to do it with you I will, but from what your dad said..." "I know, meeting her seems like a crazy idea but it's something that's always been in the back of my head." I slide across to sit in Ryan's lap, cuddling into his chest and his hand soothingly rubs up and down my back as he offers me silent support, letting me think about it and figure it out and I smile because he knows me so well and knows what I need and right now it's exactly what he's giving me, silent support.

The next day we are meant to meet Ryan's mom downtown at a diner for lunch but I wake up feeling terrible, with a really bad headache so he takes Sophie and goes without me after me assuring him for the millionth time that I'll be fine. I stay in bed, sleeping on and off and mid afternoon a knock on the door gets me out of bed and I run my fingers through my hair as I cross the living room and open the door, coming face to face with Bert. He takes in my appearance, seeing I'm wearing a singlet and short little cotton shorts and I blush as I realise I shouldn't answer the door in my pyjamas. "Sorry I didn't realise I was interrupting anything, it's just it's mid afternoon and...." "Yeah I wouldn't normally still be in bed I'm just not well today. What did you want?" He clears his throat before saying "Look about yesterday I just, I wanted to tell my side of the story." "Which story, the one where you raped my dad with a gun or the one where you tried to kidnap me and kill my dad?" Bert takes a deep breath before saying "I know what you must think of me and the first one there's no excuse for what I did and I served my time in prison for that, then Frank got his own revenge but for the other, about you, I made poor choices but I was trying to help my girlfriend." I sigh, curiosity over my mother getting the best of me and I step back, ushering him inside as I say "I'll be right back" going into the bedroom and grabbing my robe off the back of the door, pulling it on and tying it around my waist as I go back into the living room. I find Bert sitting on the couch and I sit on the arm chair across from him and say "So you know my mother?" "Yeah, her name is Jamie." "Is she....I've seen a woman come and go from your apartment a couple of times, is that...." "Yeah, that's her." I nod, taking a shaky breath as I realise I'm living next door to my mother and have actually passed her in the hall and didn't notice. "Does she know I'm here?" He shakes his head. "No she's seen you but she didn't recognise you, just said you looked kinda familiar. I didn't tell her because I know how she can be and I promised Gee a long time ago I would leave your family alone." I nod before saying "I'm sorry but, I think I need time to process all this and please, don't tell her I'm here." "Oh of course not but we're next door if you want anything at all." I nod as he stands from the couch and I stand too, following him to the door and locking it behind him. I go back to bed, curling up on my side and trying to go back to sleep, needing the escape but my mind has other ideas and my thoughts race a mile a minute. I sit up with a sigh, walking over to the dresser and pulling open the top drawer, digging out the tin in there and opening it, pulling out a pre rolled joint and settling back on the bed, cracking the window above the headboard open a little before lighting it up and inhaling deeply, holding the smoke in my lungs for a second before exhaling and letting the smoke calm my racing mind. Once the joint is done I feel only a little buzzed but completely calm and I wander into the bathroom
to take a shower. Once I get out I dry off and get dressed before taking several deep calming breaths and forcing myself to do what I've been debating about doing since yesterday. I walk out into the hallway and to the door next to mine, knocking twice before it opens revealing Bert. "Is she home?" I ask and he smiles and nods, opening the door wider and inviting me in.

Notes

So is Ruby completely stupid for going in there and announcing who she is?