You're Not In This Alone

I'm halfway across the room, trying to make my escape when someone grabs my arm and says "You're the girl from the painting, you know the artist?" I try to pull out of their hold on my arm and as I open my mouth to reply I hear a familiar voice say "Yes, she's my muse" as warm hands slide around my waist and suddenly his chest is pressed to my back. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Ross, your work is incredible." "Thank you" Ryan says as he reaches one arm out to shake the mans hand before he says "Sorry if you'll excuse us" as he starts to pull me away, leading me over to the side doors that lead to a smoking balcony. We step outside and luckily no one is out here so Ryan closes the door behind us and turns me to face him, his hands coming up to cup my face. "Wow, you look so beautiful" he tells me and I shrug as I say "Yeah but you seem to prefer slutty to classy so..." "Baby I didn't ask her to come, she just showed up cause her original plans fell through and if she was with me, I'd never show up with her looking like that." "If she's not your date tonight why was she holding your hand?" "I don't know, she grabbed it and I pulled it away, I don't want to hold anyone's hand unless it's yours." I stare at him, unable to decide if I should believe him or not. "What's going on between you two? The truth please." "We've been hanging out a lot and I'm realising more and more why I want you and not her." "Do you honestly mean that?" "Yes baby I love you and I'm sorry I made it seem like you should doubt that, but you shouldn't because I honestly do love you and only you." "I'm tired of being hurt Ry. I don't wanna be made to cry anymore. If you're really serious about this then you'll go in there right now and tell her that we're together and that you don't want her to be in your life anymore, for serious because I can't keep just hoping you won't pick her." "Whatever you want baby, I'll do it." He leans in to kiss me softly before pulling away and wrapping his arm around my waist, leading me back inside and we spend a few minutes getting stuck in conversation with different people before Liz comes over, her boobs practically hanging out of her dress and Ryan looks at me, his face questioning and I raise my eyebrows at him, waiting for him to speak. He nods slightly before turning to Liz and saying "Look, I don't think we should hang out anymore." "Ryan this is ridiculous you're really dropping me for some bitch you probably won't even be with for very long?" "Don't speak about her like that" he snaps and his arm tightens around my waist. "Whatever Ry, the sex wasn't even that good anyway" she snaps and I look at him
him, feeling my heart sink. "What?" I manage to get out and Ryan turns his head to look at me, guilt in his eyes. "Ruby I made a mistake and..." "Twice" she says smugly and I step out of Ryan's arm and rush across the room to the exit, running outside and hailing a cab, my tears only falling once we've pulled away from the curb. On the ride back I text dad and tell him I went home and when I get there I go upstairs and go straight into the bathroom, digging through the cupboard and finding my razor. Once I have it in my hand I sink to the floor and start hacking at my legs, tearing my stockings open and slashing into my thighs, letting out all my frustration and heart ache. Blood starts to pool on the floor and I keep going until I can't see properly through the tears and I drop the razor on the floor and lay down, curling into a ball in the puddle of my own blood, closing my eyes and letting sleep claim me, desperate for the escape.

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