You're Not In This Alone

When I walk into Pa's room I almost turn and walk out again but Ryan wraps his arms around my waist and leans down to whisper in my ear "It's alright, he's gonna be just fine." I take a shaky breath and continue across the room, Ryan with me every step of the way. When I reach his bedside I reach out and grab his non plastered hand gently, figuring anything not in a cast should be ok. "Daddy" I whimper out, my bottom lip quivering. "Wake up daddy please, I need you" I beg him, but he lays there unresponsive, his chest rising and falling as the tube pumps him with oxygen and his heart monitor emitting a steady beep. "Daddy please, please I can't go through this alone" I break down in sobs and Ryan pulls me back from him and turns me around letting me collapse into his chest, the only thing stopping me from falling to the floor are his arms. "Shhh" he whispers to me as he holds me against his chest and strokes my hair gently. I whimper as a new wave of sobs takes over and I feel a warm solid weight against my back and I turn my head out of Ryan's chest to look back at dad, who is supporting me from behind. "Baby girl take a deep breath ok, I need you to calm down." I try and do what he says but it's hard and I keep choking and sobbing, feeling lightheaded. After another minute my sobs turn to wails and screams and I can't control it anymore, everything I've been feeling coming to the surface and I vaguely register dad leaving as I cling to Ryan, his arms the only thing supporting my body anymore and suddenly a doctor is standing over me with a needle and dad grabs my arm, keeping it still while the doctor stabs me
with it and it only takes a few seconds before everything starts to blur around the edges and I slump back against Ryan's chest, my eyes slipping shut.

When I wake up again I'm laying in the second bed in pa's hospital room, dad sitting by his bedside and Ryan is gone. I slowly sit up, my head feeling very foggy and as I go to stand off the bed my legs wobble and I fall, hitting the floor hard. "Shit" dad curses as he jumps up to help me up and he helps me across to the chair, sitting down and pulling me into his lap. "I'm sorry I had to do that baby" he tells me and I shrug it offf. We sit in silence for a while, both of us just staring at Pa before I say "Do you think he can really hear us?" "I dunno baby, the nurse said talking to him will help but I really don't know." I nod before saying "How long until he can wake up?" "I don't know baby, the doctor said they need to do more scans first. Could be a week could be a few, they don't know." "Where's Ry?" "He had an important meeting at the gallery and I made him go. He's gonna come back later." "Good" I tell him and we fall into silence again. A few hours later Ryan comes back and we sit together on the bed I slept in, me cuddled into his side. I let out a loud yawn right before my stomach rumbles loudly and Ryan lets out a small chuckle. Dad turns to look at us and says "Rubes baby you should go
home with Ryan for a little while, get some food and have a proper sleep." "No" I answer immediately and Ryan says "Baby come on, I'll take you home for a while. Your dad's right, and you're no good to either of your dad's if you're running yourself dead." I sigh before nodding, getting up and going over to dad. "I'll be back in a few hours then" I tell him and we hug before I walk over to the door. As Ryan is coming over to me dad stands up and whispers something to him and they nod at each other before Ryan continues over to me and takes my hand, leading me out of the hospital and as he attempts to hail a cab I freeze up and say "No, no cabs." His eyes widen in realisation and he says "Oh baby of course, I'm sorry" and we walk down the street towards his place hand in hand.

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