I'm not okay...yet

That nightmare hit me hard. I hadn't had one for a couple years and i was sure that they wouldn't come back, but Alice was there and she helped calm me down. God, I don't know what I'd do without that girl.
We've been driving again for a few hours and I've shut her down every time she's asked about what was in my nightmare. I can't tell her, can't tell anyone, at least not yet. It felt so great to hold on to her at night and wake up to the smell of her hair, the beating of her heart, rise and fall of her chest; it's something I could really get used to. Her eyes stay glued to the road and I have no idea how she can change the radio station, talk with her hands and slap me upside the head when I critique her song choice, all while driving with safe perfection. She is constantly singing, with or without music playing, and right now it's fall out boy she belts out, "Am I more than you bargain for yet? I've been dying to tall you anything you want to hear 'cause that's just who I am this week!" I sneak a peak of her mile-wide grin every so often while i listen and draw in my sketchbook. She's always asking to see what I'm drawing, if only she knew that most of the time it's her that shows up on the page. Yeah, there's a few cartoons, some of our neighbors, friends: Frank , Ray and Bob, Mikey, but the majority is her, always has been.
She pulls into a gas station and gets out of the car. Now's my chance; I reach over and hook my ipod up to the adapter and turn on her favorite song: Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. When she comes back the giggles that ensue are not only adorable, but come with tomato red blushing. I turn away and add shading to the cheeks of my drawing.
Her phone goes off and she asks me to check it. "Alice, this is a message from your sister. Annie's daughter's in the hospital. She wants us to come see her in Ohio."

Notes