Troubled [Frerard]

“Iero, do you know the answer?” the professor spoke. Frank snapped out of his daze and drew his attention to the aged man standing in the center of the room. “I don’t know the question.” Frank mumbled. “What was that?” the man snapped. Frank shrugged and dropped his eyes to the floor. All in all, he was feeling like shit. He regretted telling the Doctor that he wanted to die. He had probably told the sisterhood and all the professors that he was going to kill himself. Frank bit his cheek out of frustration. He didn’t particularly want to kill himself, he just didn’t want to get older. It was more apathy towards getting hit by a truck than really wanting to get hit by a truck.

A boy two rows in front of Frank raised his hand unsure of himself. “Way.” the professor acknowledged. Frank started paying attention at the mention of that name. His eyes flew to the face of Mikey Way. He hadn’t made the connection in the doctors office, but the physical similarities between Gerard and Mikey were outstanding. They had to be related. “Yeah, can I please be excused?” Mikey coughed. “Is there a reason?” the professor challenged. “Unless you want me to pee in my seat not really.” Mikey retorted. The class erupted in a quiet chuckled as the professor shook his head and gestured for Mikey to leave. He shot up from his seat and left the room. Frank observed him through the window and watched him as he pulled out his phone before going out of Frank’s view. “And he’s not coming back…” the professor mumbled.

The day went on and on, and it was only at the very end of classes that anyone saw Mikey again. He was in the cafeteria, sitting alone at a small table in the corner. Frank saw him out of the corner of his eye on his way to the psychologist’s office. He was staring out the window to the image of rain falling down on the grass. There was a couple in the rain, holding each other. “It’s Mikey right?” Frank spoke up quietly. He didn’t usually interact with people, but Mikey captured his attention, especially because he was probably related to the person which was supposed to be psychoanalyzing him.

“Yeah. You’re Frank.” Mikey stated, not looking away from the embraced couple. Frank slowly approached the table Mikey was at and joined him in looking at the couple. “Do you know them?” Frank asked quietly. “I know the girl.” Mikey muttered, tapping his fingers on the table. “She’s my girlfriend. Not so much anymore though.” Sympathy filtered through Frank in shivers. “Oh. What is she doing on the boys’ campus?” Frank uttered. “She’s one of the professors daughters.” Mikey explained. “Fucking whore.”

“Mr. Iero, Mr. Way. You’re not supposed to be here until five-thirty.” she warned. “Excuse me.” Frank mumbled, gesturing for Mikey to follow him. “Do you want to come back to my dorm, Frank?” Mikey offered quietly as they passed the sister. “I have to be somewhere…” Frank sighed. “I’ll come up later though. What’s your room number?” he asked when he saw that Mikey’s face fell. “203.” Mikey informed with a half-grin.

***

Frank and Mikey went their separate ways and Frank found himself sitting in the doctor's waiting room foyer again. “Frank!” Gerard greeted happily, opening up the door. “Come on in. Good to see you.” he smiled. Frank reluctantly entered the room again and sat down on the green couch again.

“How was your day?” Gerard asked instantly as he sat down on the chair opposite the couch. He was asking because Frank had been the only thing on his mind since they had met. It made Gerard uneasy all in all. “Uh, it was okay.” Frank replied, scratching his palm. “Well that’s better than bad.” Gerard chuckled, inching the chair closer to Frank impulsively. “Can I ask you a question?” Frank asked nervously, cupping his hands into a small ball in his lap. “Of course.” Gerard rushed sitting up, surprised at the communication. “Are you related to Michael? Or Mikey?” he asked. Gerard paused and let out a sigh before answering. “He’s my brother. Are you friends?”

Gerard knew they weren’t friends. He had asked his brother if he knew who Frank was at the beginning of the day. Mikey had replied ‘He’s that new kid. He’s in a couple of my classes, we’ve exchanged a total of zero words.’.

“Not really. I just talked to him before I came here. You guys look alike.” Frank noted, dropping his gaze from Gerard’s eyes to the carpet. Gerard fumbled for paper and a pen which was on his desk and rested it on his knee. “I’ve been told. So if Mikey isn’t one of your friends, who is?” Gerard asked, settling in his seat. “I don’t really… I don’t have many which go here.” Frank mumbled, trying to recall the names of anyone he’d actually spoken to since he began attending that school. There was the sisters, James (the roommate he’d knocked unconscious), Mikey Way, Gerard and the professors. He wasn’t exactly social. “Any that don’t go here then?” Gerard asked hopefully. “Sure, I guess.” Frank sighed. “Can you tell me about them?” Gerard requested. Frank tried to think of the people he had kept in contact with since he moved, but there were none. He stayed silent, and sadness washed over him.

“I moved around as a kid too. I know it sucks having to make new friends, it took me a while. I was close with my brother mainly.” Gerard reminisced. “But I did find friends. You will too. Do you feel as if you have anyone to talk to about how you’re feeling?”. Frank shook his head in reply. There was the priests and the sisters, but Frank wasn’t the type of person to go confide in God. “Do you go to church?” the doctor questioned. “We have to.” Frank sighed. Gerard nodded and wrote something down on the paper that was on his lap. The writing was messy, ineligible even. Frank assumed it was something about his lack of faith.

“Do you have a girlfriend, Frank?” Gerard asked, not taking his eyes off the paper, but not writing anything more. “No.” Frank answered. “Boyfriend?” Gerard shifted his eyes to Frank’s hands. “I’m not…” Frank let out a low breath. “You didn’t sound so sure of yourself there, Frank.” Gerard chuckled, leaning back in his seat. “I’m not.” Frank argued defensively. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay.” Gerard said, smirking. “I’ve had girlfriends before, I’m not gay. And isn’t you saying that against the church?” Frank growled, crossing his arms. “I’m not calling you gay. I’m saying it’s okay to like boys and girls. Technically, yes. But I’m not a part of the church, so it doesn’t really matter.” Gerard smiled. Frank decided not to reply, and just stare at the man in front of him. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you, Frank.” Gerard sighed, getting even closer to his patient. “You shouldn’t have me, yourself or anyone label you.” he apologised. “Do you mind if we talk about your mother?” Gerard asked, tapping his pointer finger on his kneecap. Frank remained silent but didn’t shift his gaze an inch.

“I’m not letting you out until our time is up,, so if you’re gonna be silent, this hour is going to be extremely boring.” Gerard sighed. Minutes passed by and neither one of them let up. Frank didn’t look away from Gerard and let a distasteful scowl take over his features. “Do you have a habit of pretending to detest people who try to help you?” he asked, taking note on the paper resting on his thigh. Frank wanted to argue, but kept it inside. “Bottling anger up is not good for you. Have you tried taking up a sport?” Gerard queried. Silence. “Art? Music?”. Silence. “You’re just going to get angrier and angrier, Frank.” he sighed, leaning forward to the boy so they were eye level. “You don’t have to talk to me, but I want to help. And I want you to help yourself.” he assured, getting closer. The intimacy was too much for Frank as he found himself gravitating to Gerard even more. Before they could actually touch, Frank shot up from his seat and made his way to the door. He expected Gerard to stand up and tell him to sit back down, but he didn’t. “I’m not going to restrain you if you don’t want me to.” Gerard stated, raising an eyebrow. Frank reached for the door handle and made his way out into the foyer.

Gerard watched as he left and let out a sigh. One of the rules of getting someone to trust you is to not invade their personal space, but Gerard constantly found himself getting closer and closer to Frank unintentionally. Frank didn’t gesture that it made him uncomfortable, but Gerard could sense that he wasn’t used to it. It was clear that he wasn’t used to talking about his sexuality either. Gerard didn’t expect Frank to be so defencive about being gay. It did strike a chord with Gerard, with him being openly gay himself, but he was used to it. He figured it was more complicated than outright homophobia with Frank, which intrigued him even more. He got up from his chair and made his way to his quarters, skipping dinner once again. This time, he didn’t go to sleep. He pulled out his sketchbook and drew a pair of hazel eyes. He knew exactly who they belonged too, as he had been staring into them for the passed hour. Frank Iero was one thing that Gerard could not get off his mind, and that was not a good thing for either of them.

Notes