Hide Your Face, So The World Will Never Find You

An awkward silence fell over the guys and I. We walked slowly and swiftly. Our feet moving in unison. I looked over to my right to see Ray fidgeting. Silence has always bugged him. He was walking with his head down and twirling his thumbs. I took a deep breath before I did something. Something I've only done a few times before, and only in front of Gee. I took another deep breath, in attempt to calm my nerves before I began to sing,

'Just take those old records of the shelve

I'll sit and listen to them by myself

Today's music ain't got the same soul

I like that old time rock n roll,'

It grew silent as I stopped. I forgot the words. All I knew is that Ray and Mikey loved Bob Seger. I felt embarrassment warm my cheeks as I shook my head feeling stupid, but that's when Ray chirped up,

'Don't try and take me to a disco

You won't even get me out on the floor

Ten minutes I'll be late for the door,

I like that old time rock n roll'

I smiled then. Genuinely smiled. It was nice, I turned to see Ray blushing. We all stopped walking as Ray and I turned to look at Mikey who shook his head. Yet, after a pout from Ray and a "Pleeeeeeeeeaaasssseee" from me, he started singing as well,

'Call me a rebel

Call me what you will

Say I'm old fashioned

Say I'm over the hill

Today's music ain't got the same soul

I like that old time rock n roll!'

He smiled. Ray smiled. I smiled. It was amazing seeing everyone happy. It was almost like this world hadn't spiraled down into a whirling abyss of chaos, sorrow, heartbreak, and pain. Utter shit all in all. We walked a bit quicker and got to our 'Home' sooner than planned. We were all still laughing and kidding around as we came upon the old gas station. Rusted and abandoned. Out of sight, put of mind from Blink.

We stepped through the rusted door and the familiar smell of musk and old leather hit us like a bomb. But in a good way. We knew that this is our home. Our safe haven.

Ray and Mikey shrugged off their leather jackets and I shrugged,

"Guys, I'll take first watch alright?"

They nodded and yawned softly,

"Mikey, I'll wake you up in a few hours okay?"

He nodded running a lazy hand through his hair.

"Get something to eat, and some rest you two"

With this I vanished to the back. I began rummaging through a shelve near the back door. Smiling in success I pulled out my pack of cigarettes. I traveled through the back door and closed it softly behind me.

Traveling a few feet against the wall I found the ladder to the roof. Climbing to the top I hurried over to the cooler. Kneeling in front of it I pulled my pocket knife from my jacket and used it to flick open the vent. I sighed in relief as I noticed my stash has been untouched.

Reaching in a grabbed a bottle. Any bottle. Twisting off the top I brought the bottle to my lips and took a large swig. Letting whichever alcohol I chose burn as it coursed down my throat. Vodka.

A few minutes later I was sitting on the edge, my legs dangling off and the bottle in my hand near half gone already. The burn just helps, but not enough. Not for how numb I felt.

Next I grabbed my pack of cigarettes. Opening it I pulled out a cigarette, lighter, a few pictures, and a razor. Yes my good old friend Mr. Razor. I shrugged off my jacket and the razor took over. As if it had a mind of it's own. Yet, I made sure to be careful to make sure it didn't look like the cuts were on purpose.

Next thing I knew I held the last picture of Gee and I together. It was homecoming. We both wore suits. Mine black on white. His white on black. We were kissing in the photo. It was the happiest moment of my life. Then it hit me.

All the pain
All the hurt

I found myself suddenly screaming out to nothing as I clutched the photos to my chest,

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! WHERE ARE YOU?! I NEED YOU HERE! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! I MISS YOU! PLEASE PLEASE COME BACK TO ME! YOU HAVE TO BE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE RIGHT?!...."

My head hung down as I sobbed,

"...I miss you, I love you Gerard Arthur Way...you are my life...Please be alive..."

I lit a cigarette then. Taking deep breaths letting the poison chemicals engulf my lungs. I checked my watch.

"Shit."

I muttered wiping away my tears and standing up. Hiding my stash I then walked across the roof and down the ladder. I was supposed to wake up Mikey an hour ago. I tossed my jacket aside a shoved Mikey gently.

His eyes opened immediately and sat up. Groaning and yawning he raised an eyebrow,

"What's that scratch?"

He motioned to my wrist

"Just an Aly cat"

I shrugged before I fell against my wannabe bed that we created from some of the cafe booths. Slowly I allowed my nightmares to consume me once more.

Notes

BOOM! =(


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Love you all my fellow fabulous killjoys! <3

-Odd