I held tightly onto the piece of paper, guarding it with my life. We don’t know if it will help us find Tilly, but it’s the best we can do now. I followed Gerard to the back of house, clinging onto my coat in attempt to warm up. I felt the many, petite goose bumps on my skin form as we made our way closer to the garden. I lowered my head and began following the patterns on the floor with my feet. I’m mesmerised by the dark green tiles that bare tiny red diamonds every now and again. It made me wonder how long and how much patient you would need to place every tiny tile. How annoyed you would be if you messed up; even worse, it didn’t all fit. This distressed me so much, I decided to find something else to look at.

Somehow, I found myself staring into Gerard’s deep brown hair. Only know had I realised that he had re-dyed it. There was no longer a blonde streak shaping his face and it looked shorter. My eyes darted around his head, watching ever hair bounce slightly as he walked towards the garden. So badly I wanted to touch his silk chocolate hair. Stop it Jade! I wanted to scream at myself but I can’t. Why does it have to always be so complicated around Gerard? I don’t know how to solve it.

“shh, stop a second” Gerard said in a quiet voice. Almost suddenly, he stopped in front of me, causing me to crash into him.
“For god’s sake Gerard” I whispered, clutching onto my head. I gradually lifted my head to see why we stopped. In front of us bared an overpowering forest, standing tall like kings on a throne. Yet the closer you looked, the more fragile and abandoned it was. No-one had given it love. Its branches stuck out like the spikes on a hedgehog and its leaves hung like a seven year olds tooth. I stepped next to Gerard to get a better view. I’m sure it looks nicer when it’s not three in the morning.

I squinted my eyes to see what Gerard could possibly be looking at. I darted my eyes back and forward between the endless bushes. I turned back to Gerard hoping for an answer. He stared at the black horizon of nature. The calm wind picked up tiny sections of his hair over his pale emotionless face. Knowing he won’t notice me looking at him, I went back to looking at the floor. My hands curled up inside my pockets, fiddling with the tiny bits of fluff. I moved my left hand over to the other side of the pocket, skimming the poem. I picked it up and quickly ran over it again. What does it mean by the “frightful fiend”? And who’s “he”? Mikey? Gerard? Frank?

“Come one” Gerard said, breaking the silence. I looked up from the crumpled piece of paper to see Gerard venturing into the garden, towards the lonely woods. The moon shone brightly as it peeked in and out the cobweb clouds; dancing to the wind.
“Look” Gerard said in front of me. He stopped in his tracks, letting me catch up. He gradually lifted his hand to point towards the woods. I followed his stretched out arm to the breaks in the woodland. Every now and again, lights flickered. Flashing out of time. I gulped at the sight of it. I looked at Gerard again; this time he was looking at me.
“No Gerard” I said, shaking my head.
“She could be in there Jade. That’s the only god damn reason you came to me, isn’t it.” He stared at me, hoping for an answer. We both know the answer to the question but I’m too afraid to say it. “Thought so. Now let’s go.”

---

I trudged close behind Gerard, being cautious at all times. My mind came up with little stories of ghouls and things that stalk you in the night as we went thicker into the woods; scaring myself. Yet these little tales distracted me from the real horrors out there. I lost myself so much in this virtual reality that I ended up on the floor with everything else spinning. I watched the cool leaves bounce off my hand as ants scurried away. My side hurt and my head killed, paralyzing my thoughts. Then it happened. I saw it a first, not taking any notice of it. Then it moved; reaching out towards me. Everything suddenly became normal time as I jumped up. Screaming as I fell into Gerard’s arm. He pushed me behind him as he went to look at it.

Gerard slowly knelt down to pick up the severed hand. I walked back as he turned closer to me. I felt the rough bark of the tree behind me as I fell into it.
“Why did it move?” I questioned.
“Probably a rat. Come on, let’s get out of here.” Gerard threw the hand into the unknown and continued making his way down the path. I would have followed him if it wasn’t for the stranger looking at me. I saw his thick outline in the forest. Then the next one appeared.
“Gerard” I called out. He turned around and then to where I was looking.

“Run.”

So I did. I ran past the gunshots, the explosions and the shouts. I don’t know how many there was. I didn’t look back. I just kept running. Preparing myself for death. Maybe I can fake my death. Then I could live.

---

Somehow, I managed to escape the fight. I was now in an open field, ready for anyone to come. My panicky self held one of the many guns on me out in front of me. I have no clue how to use a gun but it’s the best I can do to protect myself. Once I knew I was safe, I started run again, over the half dead field and its tiny pockets of heather. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a small mound of rocks on top of a hill. That’s where I will hide. I picked up my speed as I made my way to my tiny area of safety.


The sun was beginning to rise when I woke up to the sounds of footsteps. A single person walking around. I held my breath as they came closer to me. My hands were now both around the gun. I have had too many “I’m going to die” moments this week and I’m not in the mood for another.

“Jade?” a voice called out. A warm, soft voice. A voice I knew. My arms eased as I lowered the gun. I quickly slid out of my cave and into the view of the person.
“Thank god you’re alive!” I said, swinging my arms around Gerard. As I rubbed his back, I felt a warm, sticky liquid through his shirt.
“Oh my god, you’re bleeding. Quick, sit down. I think I have some water in my bag” I said, guiding him to the nearest rock. I slipped my bag off and searched for water. My heart stopped when I looked up to see Gerard topless. His flawless pale skin was illuminated by the morning sunrise. The temptation to touch his soft skin was too much.

“Turn around” I muttered, bowing my head. I soaked some cloth in water and proceed to clean the blood. What have I gotten myself into? I never imagined myself cleaning blood off someone I loved after being shot at trying to save someone I cared about. I shouldn’t have gone home with him that night. I should had of followed my plan.
“What plan?” Gerard questioned. Shit, I said that out loud?
“Ermm…”
“What plan Jade?” Gerard said, this time turning around, “and who’s ‘him’?”
“Fuck” I muttered, “Ermm, him is you” I quietly replied.
“What do you mean it’s me?”
“If I hadn’t gone home with you that night, none of this fucking messed up shit would be happening. Tilly wouldn’t be missing and you wouldn’t have been cleaning this mess up.” I slowly back away, knowing he was getting aggravated. “Anyway, I had a boyfriend at the time” I blurted out. I grasped my mouth as soon as I said it, knowing I had only made things worse.

Notes

sorry

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-Megan xx